What Is The Worst Thing Your Child Could Say

What are the worst things a parent can do to a child?

Other than abuse, not telling them they love them often. Children need to have the most important people in their life reaffirm their love for them. They go out the door of the house and the world is ready to tell them they are unlovable. They need to come back home to hear they are loved. It builds self-worth and self esteem. It builds confidence.I would leave little one liner love notes for my son in his lunch box. One day, it fell out and he didn’t get it. He came in angry. Where was his note? As an adult I called just say I loved him, no reason, just that. He’d laugh. Thanks, mom, at least someone does.I know stories of parents never having told their children they loved them and wondering why their child grew up to be a murderer. A mother crying because her child was sentenced to life in prison. She thought if she said she loved him it would make him soft. She got hard, alright, hardhearted.Everyone wants to be loved and know it.

What’s the worst thing you can say to your child?

“I don’t want you.”Think about it. Children need to feel SAFE, above all else. When a parent says that they don’t want the child, POOF!, their entire world is rocked. Everything changes.You can’t unsay that.EDIT: I answered the original question, “What is the worst thing you can say to your child?”, but it was merged into another question that makes it sound like this is what I told a child. Let’s be clear - I NEVER told one of my children that I didn’t want them. In fact, I was one of the 4% of dads in Texas to gain custody. They know I wanted them, want them, and will always want them. Sheesh.

What is the worst thing you have heard a parent say to their child?

“Stop asking so many questions!”Kids are curious little creatures and they do ask a lot of questions. It can be frustrating – especially if you do not know the answer – but this is how children learn.I was privileged to grow up in a commune, surrounded by brilliant adults who always took the time to engage with me and the other children. My own questions were usually answered immediately (often with a lengthy debate involving several residents) and if no one had the answer, someone would find it for me. I wish every child had those same opportunities.It is not reasonable to expect a parent to always know the answers to the many questions that children ask (my nephew just asked me why he couldn't become a dog, and I'm still thinking that one over), but we should at least make an effort. A child who is constantly told to be quiet will eventually stop asking, and that is tragic.One of my husband’s first cousins, let's call her Pat, has two little girls. Pat’s daughters have two different dads, and Pat really dislikes her second husband while she pines for the first. I suspect that this might be part of the reason why she treats her oldest daughter (5) like a princess, and the younger (3) as a nuisance.Pat is not a good parent, and she leaves everything but the fun stuff to her mom. When she does spend time with the girls, she praises her older daughter and brags about her beauty, but she treats the young one worse than you'd treat a dog. The five year-old walks around in pretty little costumes while the three year-old is always dirty.What upsets me more than anything is the way the little girl is constantly silenced and ignored. She asks all the questions that a child her age would normally ask, but she is always told to be quiet. Whether it is an easy question to answer, like why the sky is blue, or a difficult philosophical one does not matter. Pat just doesn't seem to care enough about her child to spend a few minutes talking to her.I can no longer remember how many times I've heard Pat tell her youngest daughter to stop asking questions, but it is happening less frequently now. I'd love to be able to tell you that Pat began to pay attention to her, but that is not the case. The little girl, at the age of three, has largely stopped asking questions.

What is the worst thing a parent can say to a child who suffers with depression?

When I was 15, I was chronically depressed. I didn't know why, and my behaviour was changing. I was becoming someone I didn't recognise. I started to self harm. It started with little chicken scratches, and then I moved on to using a Stanley blade or a wilkinson sword razor. I hid it for a while, until the school noticed I refused to take off my long sleeved jumper even in the summer. Eventually, I got called into the office and was forced to bare my arms. The head mistress called my parents, and that's how they found out.We'd been going through all kinds of stresses at that time, and my mental health was spiralling out of control.One day, I was waiting for my mum outside a pub (she was with my youth worker, talking about my issues) and my sister came out and told me: “Mum said ‘fuck off and she'll see you at home.”So, I listened and started walking home… Eventually, I got home and my mum came flying into the house minutes later, screaming at me because I had walked home alone. Eventually, the argument blew up and she said“And while we're at it, if you're going to cut yourself, do it properly and put us all out of our misery.”It's fair to say, that had my dad not chased me up the stairs, I would have done it. In that moment I would have found my artery, and made sure I hit it.Now, before you judge my mum, yes it was a horrendous thing to say. She has spent the last 7 years apologising for it, and feels deeply saddened that she was part of the reason I continued to self harm for another 2 years. She knows she was wrong. She had her own stresses to contend with and a mentally ill daughter whose demands were becoming unbearable.But, out of all the rows… that was the worst thing she ever said to me.So, if you have a child who is depressed, please, no matter how exhausted of it you are, don't ever stoop low. You will never forgive yourself. Your child looks up to you for love, support and guidance. Lashing out at their depression will only make them spiral out of control - and make the situation a hellofalot worse.And if you do stoop low, you can apologise for it as much as you want, but those wounds will never truly close and a big piece of trust will disappear, too. Your relationship will change forever.