What Names Should I Name My Unborn Children

Our family hates the names we picked for our unborn child. What should I do?

Easy!!!Name your child whatever you picked. See, family is great, and they nit pick everything, and think anything anyone in the family does, is their business… Guess what!? It'll be YOUR son or daughter being born, not your family's. They may not like the names you chose, but two things will happen…They will fall in love with your child, REGARDLESS of their name, the second they see him/her.They will in time grow to like the name… Chances are, the second they see the child, they'll agree they “look like a/an [enter child's name here]”.My own wife didn't like the name I chose for my daughter, and my father thought it looked weird (it does, because I acidentally reversed the vowels when I announced the name I chose, and it stuck)… The second my wife saw her, she fell in love with her, and knew she was Thiea Nicole, and there was no more resistance to it.Ultimately, it's your decision. The family will get over it… and if they don't, you'll have years and years of amusing times hearing all about it throughout life. Hahaha!My grandparents used to fight about who I was named after… It was wholly amusing, because my name is Joseph Lee… My dad's dad was Joseph, and my mom's dad was Carl Lee… I was named after both, OBVIOUSLY, but for some reason, they had that feud til they died, and the one who outlived the other, just loved talking about how he was right, and the other wrong. Hahaha!Families can be very strange… You're building yours now, so do as you wish… Nothing wrong with listening to family suggestions and advice, but it is YOUR choice. Some families like to be involved, some have traditions with names, some kids like to break them though… My family is loaded with “J” names… My cousins carried it on, but my brother and I did not. My mom wanted me to name my daughter after her mother, butI did not, and yes, she seemed like it bothered her some, but she still loves her granddaughter, and shell have more, so you never know…Maybe tell the family you're not bending on your first child's name, but you will happily let them partake in naming your next child? That'sa neat compromise.

Would you change the name you had picked for your unborn baby if your in-laws hated it?

Respectfully, why is, what is their particulare concern? This child isn’t some randomness, (S)he is part of both families, with their own heritages, and at the very least hear them out, understand their why (and it really isn’t all about you—or them—but what’s best in the long haul for the baby). Keeping peace where peace can be kept is a good thing. Treating others with respect, yep, even and especially in-laws, should allow for their voice to be heard. You might learn things otherwise missed. But in the end, you and baby’s parent will have final say. Sometimes family traditions work out really nicely—like one of my brother-in-laws family always gave the first son his mother’s last name as the middle name, and the first name was the paternal grandfathers first name—it gives a continuity that really made sense. With my own kids I’d determined when my beloved grandfather died, I wanted to name my first son after him, and did. And his siblings also ended up with familial names from grandparents, great-grands, too. And their middle name reflected their father’s cultural heritage. In the end, each child ended up using their “English” heritage names, though as children they were sometimes called as they would be in their father’s heritage.I think the main concern would be a little slow to abandon traditional names entirely. Having quirky names may seem cute, but also leave a child a bit out in the cold among peers, so choose carefully, understand other key people’s “why”, understand your own “why”—know you will choose, and encourage the best in your child.

When parents announce which name they chose for their newborn baby, is it rude to tell them you don't like the name?

The short answer, from my perspective and experience, is Yes, it _is_rude.When my firstborn was in utero, I suggested to my husband a name which was a combination of his own name and my father's : Julian. We thought it was a lovely name and eagerly awaited his arrival.Some time before he was born, we went to a friend's child's birthday party. This was the best friend of my husband, they've known each other since kindergarten and were, at that time, in their 40s. Both had previously been married to other women, fathered children with them, who were all young adults themselves by then.This friend congratulated us on the new baby, asked about about the name. When my husband told him, Julian, this friend roared with laughter. Then he declared, Well, he better learn how to fight, cuz he's gonna get beat up with a name like that!Crickets…The whole party shut down, waiting for our response. But we had none, we were utterly shocked. Where had that response come from? Who says such a thing, especially to someone who you've always been quick and proud to introduce as My Best Friend Since Kindergarten?Fast forward 17 years, my husband and I are still together, our kids are all well and happy, healthy and fun-loving. Of course, we learned the hard way that day to never tell the name of your baby until s/he is born. Send out the birth announcements and let people think or say what they want, in the privacy of their own homes, out of earshot. By the time people meet your baby, they've had time to get used to the name you've chosen.My husband and his friend are still friends, though the friend moved out of state years ago to recover from drug addiction. They call each other on birthdays and holidays, reminisce about the old days, They see each other only at high school reunions or funerals.Late one night, the phone rings. It's my husband's friend. He was so distraught, sobbing so loudly on the phone to my husband that I could hear him in the other room. His oldest son had just been found murdered and mutilated another in another state, the victim of a drug deal gone bad.At that time, I was overcome with shock and anguish for this friend, a traumatized, grieving father. I never even thought about his rude words. Until I read your question just now. And I probably won't again. Nobody deserves that kind of pain. Puts things in perspective.

Who has the right to name their child— the mother or the father?

We’re talking legal rights to naming here and not legal rights as parent.That depends on location. Different countries have different rules and conventions. Even different states have different ways they deal with this. Iceland, for example has specific rules about what and how a child is named. Other counties have traditional surnames that are different for girls and boys.Here in the Northeast USA, it’s the mother who names the child. In many hospitals the name of the father isn’t even an item on the birth certificate form (which is filled out at the time of naming and is the first legal form with the child’s name.) I know that this is for the mother’s sake in case the father is unknown (as in sperm bank donor or multiple partners) or in cases of rape where it is too hard for her to use the rapist name.Most couples however, share the privileged of naming the child. They will talk about it a lot before the baby is born. However, ultimately, here, it is the mother that finally names the child. This includes both given name(s) and surname. Tradition says the child carries the father’s surname but that isn’t required. The mother can name her child whatever she wants to. I have seen some families where the girl children carry the mother’s surname and the boy children carry the father’s surname.