I'm jealous of my boyfriends 7 year old daughter?
Been seeing my boyfriend for 2 years now, we see each other regularly and always have loads of fun and are really close speak all the time. However he has a daughter not biologically his with his ex but he has been there since the birth, him and his daughter have spent some time apart but now getting back together due to family arguments. I have not met her but he speaks about her all the time, few occasions when I've drove down to see him about a 3 hour drive and then suddenly he has to go get his daughter so I end up leaving, so not long since I've been there. He's told me that I can stay but I don't want to get in the way between them both, so I always leave. Other little issues have been oh you can't use that it's my little girls, refusing to save me in his phone as other little cute nicknames for example I'd say as a joke oh save me as Angel then he would say NO, There's only one angel in my life and that's my little girl, constantly talks about her it just annoys me! She's a very pretty young girl, but I don't know why I'm jealous I can't help it :( , Part of me did want things to mess up with them so then I could have him to myself and then when it did happen he was upset all the time and I felt awful seeing him so sad, he was just very upset and drunk loads of alcohol which has been an issue for a while and often tends to be the main cause of him getting in trouble with his daughter and ex (alcohol) . I don't know why I feel this way but I hate it :(
Should I let my daughter meet her biological father now?
That is a difficult situation. This is especially difficult since this would actually be considered a crime in most areas, on his part since you were so young. He knew that. The fact that he was abusive makes it that much more difficult. You might approach it in that you want her to know information about her father, but feel it best that she meet him when she is mature, such as at 18. Explain the details, how it affected you, and the reasons you sought this out at that point. Let her know you don't want that sort of thing for her and feel her knowing about her father is important, and the meeting him when she is an adult will be her own decision. See how that goes. I can see that this could dredge up some difficult emotions for you, since that must have been a difficult time. Hopefully, you feel somewhat "healed" in this time, but that sort of thing can take time, and I wouldn't be surprised if you find you are not quite as healed as you might think. Your daughter needs to understand that meeting her father will affect you, so the way and time it happens will be important to not only her, but to you too. Your daughter is at a very vulnerable age and since this man took advantage of you already, states he was not very stable. Obviously you don't want that sort of attitude brought into your daughter's life. Talk to your partner, but I would try to show her how waiting until she is 18 would be best for everyone in this situation. Your daughter needs more time to mature into a woman before being introduced to this sort of negative situation. She is not old enough to understand the emotions involved in this sort of thing. There may be some sort of support groups for people in this sort of situation. That might be a good place to begin, and let your daughter know you are sorting all this out and will let her know when you are able.
What do you do when you find out your father, is not your biological father?
I found out at 22 years old that I was adopted - neither of my parents were my biological parents. A little more on that here: How did you accidentally find out you were adopted?It’s a shock. I found myself struggling with all sorts of questions that I’d never had before - who do I look like? What sort of medical problems am I unaware of? Most of all, why did these people lie to me my whole life?I was never close to my mother, but my father had been my rock. He’d been diagnosed with cancer less than a year prior and our family met with hospice a week or so after the revelation. I didn’t decide to let it go where he was concerned, but it sort of just happened - the important things like spending time together took precedence.I became even more guarded around my mother, especially after additional lies were manufactured surrounding the circumstances of my birth. (She was unaware of the information I’d obtained from the state and everything she said contradicted the records I’d received.)Personally, I did a lot of retrospection and introspection after the initial shock wore off three months or so later. While the relationship that my mother and I had left no question as to her lack of love for me, my father’s love more than compensated.I spent a lot of time with my father before he passed and there’s not ever a time that I think about him that I don’t find myself missing him terribly. That was 26 years ago now.Most recently I learned more about my biological father through my biological half-sister who was born seven months before me. Apparently, he was bouncing all over the state dropping his seed with the confidence of a man with total immunity to the consequences. That said, I may have lost the lottery with my abusive mother, but I hit the jackpot with my dad.I don’t know your situation with your father, but if he has been there for you - outside of the “roof over your head, food on your plate, clothes on your back” mantra that we’re sort of required to do as parents and he should’ve realized he was signing up for when he began a relationship with your mother - don’t turn your back on him.Spend time sorting it out. You have questions and every right to know the chapters of your story that were written before you had any say in them. Put your thoughts and feelings into words, communicate them as calmly as possible, and hopefully, your parents will be able to have that adult conversation with you.
I don't want to live with my boyfriend and his father...?
Me and my boyfriend are getting pretty serious, but he keeps telling me that his father (65... getting up there...) doesn't want to live in a nursing home, and so he's told him that he can live with him. This is making me panic. I can't imagine being in my mid 20s with a family... and sharing every moment with my husband with my boyfriend's father. He'd be there when we watch TV, when we're eating dinner... and he's very demeaning. He talks down to me like I'm a child and calls me rude. They're Indian - I am not. My boyfriend explains that this is a cultural thing. My boyfriend and I have talked about kids... and the other day he brought up that he was so excited that his dad would be around ALL THE TIME to help take care of them..... He could be with us for 20 years...... It's something I simply can't do. I wouldn't be happy, but I love my boyfriend to death... thoughts? Are there are solutions I'm not seeing? I don't want to share my newly wed husband with his father until he dies. I don't want him to live with us at all.
Should I tell my son who is biological father is now?
Here are somethings you need to think about. I was 13 when I found out who my father was. He wanted nothing to do with me. Paid minimum child support, I was kid 7. When my father wanted to see me I was finally 22 years old. I met him at a bar and diner. If he wants to see his son, have him go through the court system, the same way you got your child support. Your bf has no say in the matter due to he is just a step-father to this child. Unless you marry this man, he has no say. If you don't want your son to see him, than you make that decision. Your boyfriend should understand it is your decision and that is final. At 10 years old he will not understand why you hid it from him but when he gets older it will be easier to explain. If your son's bio father's name is on the birth certificate, that is usually the best way to show it to him. He should be understanding. Leave your other kids with your bf. Take your son to a restaurant and have your ex meet him and you there. Than you can introduce them. Take it slow if you don't want to do it through the courts, but if you do, than good luck. It will be better in the long run.
Can my boyfriend adopt my daughter without being married?
You have actually been told the right thing. You do have to be married and it has to be for a year. I have been going through similar except I am the one who is adopting my step daughter. I have been told by a lawyer. It sucks! But also he said that there are circumstances that can be looked at to. I think that you should call a lawyer that specializes in adoptions. I live in Indiana and there are tons of lawyers that offer free consultations, and normally last an hour. My circumstances are different then yours because the mother wants to see her daughter but doesn't want to financially help and she comes around long enough to make our process difficult. My step daughter only sees her mom maybe 4 times a year. This is all the mothers choice to. But the only thing on my side is that my step daughter is 12 years old now and she has a part in the decision, as long as it is in the best interest of the child and she has lived with me since she was 6 yrs old. I don't see any problem with your case as long as you two tie the not. Good Luck!