What happens after someone says in a wedding "Speak now or forever hold your peace" and someone speaks?
I'm sorry to burst your bubble but this only happens in movies.
When a preacher tells the audience to "speak now or forever hold your peace" at a wedding, and someone in the audience objects, what happens next?
This answer relates to an Anglican Church wedding in England. See the answer by Justin Freeman for what happens in the USA.Please remember that, in the UK, there is no separation of Church and State - and Anglican Priests, as representatives of the official religion, have a bunch of different processes to follow that impose both rights and restrictions compared to, say, Methodist pastors, Rabbis, Imams, or civil Registrars.Note that I am not a lawyer - however, I sing for about 50 weddings a year at a 1000 year old church (popular wedding venue!), and this is part of the training we get!The question happens. Full stop. Always. It is a legal requirement. If the question has not been asked, the marriage service is not legal, and the priest could be prosecuted if he issued a wedding certificate.So, what happens if there's an objection in response to the question?Firstly, the wedding stops. If there is an objection, even if it is recanted / sworn to be a joke 30 seconds later, it becomes illegal for the wedding to continue.Secondly, the police must be called. Yes, again, this is a legal requirement.Thirdly, the police are required, by law, to investigate the matter, and determine whether there was a just cause (see below.) If there was reason, then the matter is, in practice over! If there was not cause, however, the person making the claim will be arrested, charged, and remanded to appear in court. [Subsequent steps apply in this case.]Fourthly, the person in question will be sentenced. The maximum penalty is 6 months in prison (and a fine.)Finally, in almost all cases, the person in question will be sued into the ground, both by the wedding couple, and by all the guests.There are only four 'just causes' that can be brought up at a wedding by a member of the congregation.One, or both, of the couple is already marriedThe couple are 'blood relatives' (which has a very specific set of definitions - note that, in England, first cousins are allowed to marry!)One, or both, of the couple is on the run from prisonOne, or both, of the couple is a member of the armed forces, and is absent without leave.The priest also has a legal obligation to refuse to marry a couple if he believes that the wedding is a marriage of convenience for immigration purposes... but actually those are fairly easy to spot, and we only get one every couple of years. [If you're really interested, ask 'how do you spot a marriage of convenience.' and ask me to answer] :-)
Why was "speak now or forever hold your peace" instated as a wedding tradition?
About the only situation these days in which someone would actually speak up at that "or forever hold his peace" moment is if someone claimed to know that the bride or groom was already married to someone else. If someone were indeed legally married to the bride or groom, that would be a real impediment to the current marriage. Being married to two different people is called "bigamy" and was and often still is a crime. However human nature being what it is, such things are not unknown.For the Victorians there were some other social, rather than legal impediments. For instance, having a child out of wedlock with another person, or even having a pending engagement (this might be a civil cause of legal action called "breach of promise"). One might imagine a young woman carrying a baby at the back of the church, pointing to the impending groom, saying "Him! He's the father of my child!" This is the stuff of melodrama.These days, a soon-to-be married couple can write their own wedding ceremony and leave out the old fashioned prolixity. If the bride or groom had a child with another person, the child might well be there carrying a basket of flowers, and the former partner or partners might well be there for hugs, handshaking, and toasts. But if you do adopt the traditional wedding service, yes, you'd be better off with the egalitarian "let them speak now or forever hold their peace." That way if the gigantic embarrassment did occur, at least it would be gender-neutral. And if not, the newly-married couple, be they men, women, or one of each, could start their married life together without any sexist nonsense to scratch their heads over.
Have you ever seen someone “speak now” rather than forever holding their peace at a wedding?
Didn't see it with my own eyes, but at the wedding of one of my friend's brothers, a random guy stepped up and said the bride shouldn't marry my friend's brother, because the groom didn't love her as much as he did. The guy was a good for nothing junkie whom I'd met before. She left him because his life was going in a downward spiral of drugs and odd jobs, with undesirable people for friends, and was always asking around for money to pay his "rent".What happened next won't come as a surprise to anybody. The rest of my friend's kin stood up (Two brothers and a sister, along with some cousins and apparently a distant uncle), approached the hoodlum, and pushed him out of the church, where they had what you could call a very heated argument. All the while the ceremony went on as if nothing had happened (although I'm pretty sure both bride and groom were pissed off) and they were happily married. They left for another city, and we've never heard from the junkie again.The thing is, the "speak now or forever hold your peace"has no validity nowadays except for romantic effect. Most marriages (at least in Mexico) go through legal procedures to ensure that the marriage can take effect, like checking if the names of the bride and groom are real, or that they are not married to someone else at the time of the ceremony. You can actually tell the priest you want the "speak now..."part of the ceremony completely omitted, to avoid nasty incidents. So, if someone were to challenge the wedding, he'd have to:Convince the bride/groom that they're marrying the wrong person, so they can run off and leave the other party standing at the altar. And we all know this rarely happens.Provide a real good reason why the marriage cannot be consumated, either because he/she is lying about his name and origins, or because he/she is already married. Furthermore, he'd have to present evidence: marriage certificates or real documentation of origins.So, if you ever happen to witness something like this, rest assured that the only thing that will happen is that the challenger will probably get beat up by the challenged party's family or friends.
When is it an appropriate moment to respond to "speak now or forever hold your piece" at a wedding?
Weeks, if not months before the wedding.Until the last 30 years, Catholic churches announced wedding banns at mass every Sunday. A bann is a proclamation that a couple intends to wed. This gave anyone with knowledge of a prior existing marriage, knowledge of a legally prohibited kinship that was too close, lack of consent of one person, etc., the opportunity to come forward (presumably to a priest or pastor.This was also done (and may still be done) in the Anglican church and other denominations. It was done to prevent priests from performing illegal marriages.I don't know if the phrase "speak now..." is even used in most ceremonies. A person with knowledge of an existing marriage or a prohibited closeness of kin would be looking for some gratification in humiliating a bride and groom at the end of the ceremony--why would s/he not have relayed the information beforehand?The movie which seems to best embody the sentiments, of course, is The Graduate, with Dustin Hoffman--although he proclaims his love after the vows are finalized. Forty years after seeing the movie, I wonder how well THEIR relationship would have turned out.
What happens at a wedding if someone "speaks now" instead of "forever holding their peace"?
You know that's a very good question! Here's an answer that I found to be the most true sounding... "Some people believe that centuries ago, arranged marriages were common, and the bride's father had to provide a dowry. If the father had not fulfilled his part of the bargain, that saying was good moment for the grooms family to speak up before it was too late. The statement may also be a reference to a brides virginity, dating to a time when virginity was a pre-requisite for marriage. A marriage ceremony is not only to join two people, but to also obtain the blessing of their family and friends. The original purpose may have been to allow people who were attending the ceremony one last chance to give a good reason why they shouldn't be married. If they didn't have one, or didn't speak it at the time, then they should keep it to themselves there after, and not cause trouble down the line." I think these days you can ask your preacher to take that out of the ceremony sense everyone is consenting. If someone were to object I think the priest would take that person with the bride and groom to figure out what's going on. If it's something minor like "I just dont want you to marry them." it's not their place to say who can and cant get married so the wedding will continue. If it were something major like "he's still married to someone else" then the wedding couldn't go on as planned and it would have to be cancelled. Honestly I think this is something only seen in movies. I know exactly what would happen if anyone did it at my wedding. They would be getting a big white high heeled shoe thrown at them :) Hope that answered your question!
What happens if someone says "I OBJECT" at your wedding?
LEAVE THAT QUESTION OUT!! Don't give someone the opportunity to say it.
Which is correct, speak my piece or speak my peace?
"Speak your piece" is the correct idiom."Speak your piece" and "hold your peace" are two common English idioms and easy to confuse the "piece" and "peace." There is a simple logical device to tell the difference -- and which is the correct one to use."Speak your piece" means to state your opinion. Your opinion is your "piece" -- and "piece" is specific to this idiom.I planned to speak my piece about this matter at the next meeting.I encourage all of you to speak your piece before we vote."Hold your peace" means the same as the idiom "hold your tongue": to keep silent (to say nothing about something). This is the traditional phrase often heard in traditional marriage ceremonies, where the officiant (the priest usually) tells anyone who's against the marriage "to speak now or forever hold your peace" once the ceremony carries on from that point. The idiom, however, is not limited to marriages and weddings.I am holding my peace and accept these stupid changes in the company.The waiter was discreet and held his peace.