What Would You Do If It Was You

What would you do if you knew you were going to die in a week?

The answer I am going to give at this point in my life is nowhere as fun as the one I would’ve given 20 years ago…Although I would still do whatever it took to get my hands on some excellent methamphetamine…and stay awake the entire two weeks. Why th fuck sleep? I will rest when I am dead takes on a whole new reality.I would spend an entire day with each person in my family individually…my mom, my kids, etc. plus one entire day with all of them partying as hard as we could…no crying..all laughter.Then I would dedicate a day paying back the individuals who have it coming. When all of that is evened up, and my “fuck you back book” has as many names crossed off as possible in the time allotted..I would relieve a car dealership of a high performance muscle car..a “Hellcat” or ‘vette, take that sucker out to the cuts and open it up…I’ve been 180 mph and never forgotten how bitchin that felt. I would drive as fast as I could for as long as I could drinking my favorite rye whiskey…until I crashed and burned. Going out on my terms. FTW

What would you do if you came across an invisibility cloak?

I wish I could say I would use it for good, but frankly, I’d probably use it to steal stuff and generally troll people.I’d specifically seek out guys who walked around with their pants sagging and just pants em’ in front of everyone.I’d troll everyone at restaurants by switching all their orders.I’d go to “haunted” house tours and scare the crap out of people.I’d tie people’s shoelaces together when they weren’t looking.I’d walk down the street at night when it was raining so that there would only be a faint outline of a human body, freaking out anyone who happened to look out the window and see me.I’d go to coffee shops and switch the sugar with salt.And then, if I felt like it, I’d go and stop criminals as “The Invisible Man”.

What would you do if you woke up in the far future?

Depends on just how far I went.I’ll assume that I go 1000 years into the future. So, the year is now late 3017. How refreshing.First, I punch myself in the mouth multiple times to make absolutely sure I’m not dreaming. Or…..nightmaring. Nightmaring? Doesn’t matter, just make sure I’m not doing either.Then, I’ll book it to the nearest library or computer center possible. Luckily for me, I’m in Korea (or whatever’s left of Korea), so assuming that the nuclear apocalypse or artificial intelligence takeover hasn’t ended the world yet, I’m in good hands. I’m sure it won’t be too rough finding a data center.Then, I figure out what changed in 1000 years. No doubt I look stupid when put up next to the people of these years. I’ll have to learn quick, though, since I’m guessing humans will have top kekd most of the usable farmland in my area. I’ll need to be able to find a way to acquire the essentials and figure out if those essentials are any different from the past.Next comes befriending people. I’m going to die incredibly quickly unless I have a few friends to back me up in this new world. I’ll enthrall this with my stories of the past-primitive computers, basic locomotion, and limited space travel will be frequented topics. I’ll make sure to stay on the people’s good side, since I’ll be relying on them for some time to feel my way throughout this new world.Last, but certainly not least, comes getting money. This part is gonna suck ass. I definitely won’t have any of the qualifications required of the future population to get a job. I suppose I could try to get scientists to pay me to experiment on a body from the past, but that will become inconvenient and it may not even work. I’d have to see if one of my friends can help me here, once again. No matter what, I will need currency in order to survive-it’s one of the basics.Keep on thinking,Joseph

What would you do if you lost your job tomorrow?

Going on the assumption you were laid off due to lack or work or workforce reduction:Immediately start looking for another job. Update your resume. And apply for unemployment benefits right away.I know it's tough to look at it this way, but think of it as an opportunity for career advancement. Get your resume out to those places you've always wondered about working for. Send your resume for jobs that you almost but not quite qualified for.If you terminated for cause, first analyze why and what you should have done differently. Then start practicing those corrections right away. Be prepared to answer questions and demonstrate the changes you've made. Then take the steps outlined above.Good luck

What would you do if you saw a man hit a woman?

I would first off make sure she was safe from any further attack; that is the most important thing above anything else. Then I would call the police. Once the police were on their way, I would see if there were anyone else man enough to get involved and help me detain this loser until the police arrived. And I would sing like a canary to the police regarding what I witnessed. I have zero use for anyone that assults someone else and I give no 2nd chances to anyone. Once is too much and no one hits a woman by accident. It is always a conscious decision. Always.I am sorry if there are feminists that don't want a man helping a woman, but that is just how I am. It is in a guy’s nature to be protective toward women and step in when we see a problem. It has nothing to do with us thinking a woman can't take care of herself. Nothing at all.

What would you do if you ran into Barack Obama?

President Obama came to Upstate New York. Various organizations had opinions about where he should visit. I arrived at the Auburn YMCA for my morning workout to see Secret Service all around plus people watching. I had thought he was going to visit the next door Seward mansion/museum, so I had brought my camera. But he was in the Y working out, we were told because he didn’t want to kick out the people who would be using the workout room at his motel. Because I taught a class at the Y and always worked out in the same room before it started, they let me go into the room where he was running on the treadmill. I asked the Secret Service man there if he would be more comfortable if I gave him my camera and he said he would. After about 20 minutes, there was great commotion - he was leaving. I panicked about my camera and as we applauded him on his way out, I was looking for the man with my camera. But Bill, our chief of custodians, had been given it. He also said there were pictures on it. We checked on one of the secretary’s computers, and sure enough, there was the President with a whole bunch of kids in the gym shooting baskets, and then one of him surrounded by the kids, posed for a group shot. So our president made sure he met with the people who really count — kids, and I am told that he repeated the basketball games as he went through the small towns of Upstate NY. I suggested to the Director that he mail the picture to theWhite House and ask for a signature (which I had done when I met President Clinton and gave him my granddaughter to hold — but that’s another story). So the Auburn YMCA now has a framed picture of President Obama with a bunch of kids AND the $5 bill that he used to pay for his guest pass to the YMCA— YES, Barack Obama insisted on paying his own way. I think the choices he made and continued to make shows the character of the man.