My mother wants grandchildren, but I'm gay!?
And it doesn't look like my sister Hannah is going to be having a baby. I don't want to upset mother, but I don't know if I can go through with having sex with a woman so she can have a grandchild. What should I do?
Why does my mother want grandchildren so much?
I'm 30. I have no intentions of having children. I don't want them. I have a younger sister so she will get grandchildren eventually. Whatever it is that makes people want to have children, I don't have. So I'm doubly confounded as to why my mom would be so into grandchildren. Please give me insights into her state of mind. Frankly, it upsets me. The only good child is the one you can give back. It seems like my mom wants me to suffer through raising one just so she can play with it on weekends.
How can I help my grandchildren whose mother is a narcissist?
This may sting but I’m seriously looking out for the children.How do you know the mother is NPD? Was she diagnosed? Is she your daughter or your daughter-in-law? What do the children need help with? How are they being affected? In order to answer this question, there are so many other factors that have to be considered and the question is very vague. The reason I take precautions is that if you are the mother who raised this daughter and if she is actually NPD, she suffered childhood emotional abuse and possibly physical and sexual. Emotional abuse accompanies all abuse and how do I know this is not asked by her narcissist mother? It’s quite common for narcissists to ask such questions because their emotional age is that of a child which is all about them and has nothing to do with helping anyone else. They ask others with empathy and emotions because they have little to none themselves. Learning this information is then mimicked and used to manipulate. Many times you hear of grandparents having the children taken away from their parent unnecessarily to live with them only to use the children to continue the emotional abuse on their child. This tactic is to isolate the children to groom them to turn against the mother. This is the reason why I will not give an answer beyond this.I’m not pointing fingers at you, I’m simply asking because no one on here knows anything about the situation. Any answer telling you what you should do could actually make it a worse situation for the children. It’s known that narcissists RARELY go to therapy and most of the ones that do use what they learn in therapy to manipulate. They walk out convincing everyone they are cured but in reality, they are worse because they have sharpened and learned a few new ways to manipulate.If a situation like this goes as far as kids being taken away and put with grandparents, the legal system will do assessments on the parent but will not on the grandparent. Emotional abuse and personality disorders have to be VERY carefully diagnosed because they can actually appear to be very similar in characteristics and traits. So, your daughter may appear to be a narcissist but is really the one that suffered abuse and she should keep the children away from you. Her relationship with you may be in turmoil for a very good reason.If you are sound in mind, not disordered, have normal emotional and empathy then you should already know the answer to what you should and can do.
Would you choose your grandchild or husband (stepgrandfather)over something bad.?
if your grandchid told you that something horrible happened to them from there stepgrandfather but they were afraid to tell you,would you choose your grandchild or husband??? and who would you belive could you stand by him or would you show support to your 15yrs old grandchild. just a question from the mother of the daughter. Could use a little advise considering my mother is sticking with the jerk...
My 3 year old grandson saw his mother using drugs, what should I do?
You must get involved!!! These situations are not 'easy' - but your GS must be protected! I am raising my 3 yr old grandchild because of drug usage by the parents. If your GS's father is willing, let him get legal advise for gaining full custody - and only allowing supervised visitation for the mother. If he is not - then are YOU? We must help these children. There are more and more that have to live in unsafe homes....and they are in danger. Don't let him suffer any more. He is only 3....help him!! BTW - do not get CPS involved. Anyone in the legal system will tell you that. You would be placing your GS's life in the hands of people who do not care....and do not do their job. (of course, there could be exceptions....but do you want to take that chance?)
Mother-in-Law favoring first grandchild?
When my Mother-in-Law had her first grandchild 2 years ago she took on alot of the responsibility because my brother and sister-in-law did not really want a child. Well now that my husband and I have a baby (6 months old) it seems like my Mother-in-Law's time is always spent with my niece. When my husband and I want her to babysit it seems like she is always too busy watching Grandchild #1. Our Niece is always over at her house! Now that our baby is 6 months old she has started to recognize people like my parents but everytime we bring her over to my In-Laws she gets very uncomfortable because she doesn't know where or who she is with. How do I approach my mother-in-law, because I am jealous for my daughter and also want her to have a relationship with my daughter too?
Is it okay to withhold grandchildren from their grandparents when there is an argument between the parent and the grandparent?
The relationship between child and grandparent is very important and should be viewed on its own merits. Never involve children in disputes that has nothing to do with them and never pass on negative views the parent may have about the grandparent or vice versa to the child. That child should be able to love and respect all his family members and judge that relationship totally between the two of them. If the grandparent and child love and have bonded with each other don’t use the child as pawn to manipulate the parent. I am including a link to some great articles about healthy conflict resolution in families and hope you find support in them and can find peace with your parentConflict ResolutionAlso a link that is a good article and the roles and importance for both your child and the grandparent in sharing life togetherThe Many Roles of GrandparentsWith holding a child from their grandparent is always wrong unless that grandparent has shown themselves to be abusive or mentally or physically place the child at risk and even then I believe it important to find a way to keep a grandparent in the child’s life even if visits need to be short and supervised. Your relationship with the parent due to an argument should not include punishing the child from losing a grandparent they love, doing so is more often using the child to punish the parent and it punishes your child unfairly when his/her relationship is totally different than your own. Having had personal experience with this believe me the children suffer as do the grandparents unfairly and the children grow up with a vacuum in their family history that can be painful in their adult lives as well. So I pray you will resolve this conflict with your parent, but until then if your child and grandparent have a healthy loving relationship I pray you will not interfere with that for both their sake.
My mother chose her new boyfriend over my son. Do I have the right to be mad?
Think of it this way. If, later on in life you have a chance for happiness, companionship and the love of a partner would you give that up for your son’s child ?Your years are no longer as long as they once were. Everything about the way life gives you chances are limited and growing increasingly unlikely of meeting many more people you’d want to spend your days with.Even if the relationship was new it becomes harder to turn your back on it and that’s even with the huge depth of love you’d have for your grandchild.We don’t get many opportunities to be happy, our relatives grow increasingly distant as they find their own lives full of fresh interests and opportunities.Understandably as the mother of your son you will be highly aware of any slights or perceived wrongs against him. Try to help him see this in a way that doesn’t make it seem like a rejection of him. It is more about the balance of time and remaining important, being useful.As an older lady, a grandmother, your mother’s days of being important are diminishing. Not in the heart I’m sure but in turning to her for her help. Especially these days when so much can be learned so quickly online.Your son will grow to choose his own life over his Grandmother’s needs and wishes and hopefully she would have expected that and not take it personally.This is the time to see the bigger picture.