How and what age should you tell your kids about Santa?
It might be a question you dread. Maybe. Is Santa Real? We thought we'd ask this question since some of you have experienced this already or will experience it soon. So let's help some parents out! Thanks in advance for all the tips and advice!
When is the right age to allow your kids to swear?
I do not think anyone, child or adult, should swear, and I especially do not believe that a parent should ever "allow" their child to swear. It is disrepectful, and a sign of ignorance-it proves you are inept at expressing yourself in an educated manner.
When is the right age to start spanking your kid?
My son began getting light taps on the hand and one mild "swat" on the bottom when he was around that age. I see nothing wrong with starting those things now if you feel that it is needed. One thing I do ask is that if you do use these things use them with a cool head and not out of anger. "No" pretty much meant nothing to my son at that age and sometimes an attention getter was needed. Usually if I gave him something else to play with it worked, but sometimes he was just that stubborn and needed something more to get his attention at times. Good for you in taking a stand to the probably many people who will still come here anyways and tell you spanking is "bad" and "abuse". Where is that written? The last time I checked our laws it's not against the law or wrong to spank your child. Those people need to respect other parents' methods of discipline and quit bashing us because we choose to do it differently. Funny how they scream "we must have tolerance!" but they eat their own words when it comes to disciplinary differences. Example of Intolerance and Lack of Respect: See "Sam's" answer. There's no need to be flat out rude and disrespectful.
At what age should you tell your child that they were adopted?
We told our child from the minute he turned a year old! I had purchased a book called, "Why Was I Adopted," by Carole LIvingston. We read it to him at least once a week from the time he was a year old. As he got a little older, it became one of his favorite books so was read anytime he requested it...sometimes every night! It is a wonderful book that tells the child that he/she is special because he/she was chosen by their adoptive parents and gives some scenarios on why the child was placed for adoption. For example, your birth parents were just kids themselves. Can you imagine being raised by kids? It is a positive and wonderful book and I recommend it to all adoptive parents. It also enables you to start telling your child at a very young age where they grow up accepting it and knowing that they are loved without question. We have always been honest with our son. He is now 25 and has never had a desire to meet his birth parents...even though we told him we would not object. He didn't even want us to donate the book when we moved 4 years ago...he wants to keep it. Obviously, the book made an impact. I recommend telling your child from a very young age. P.S. We have had our son since he was 5 days old (also adopted due to infertility). We celebrate his birth and a day we made up..."Gotcha Day"...the day we brought him home from the hospital.
What is the right age to talk to children about death?
I am not a child psychologist, but my opinion is as soon as they can understand what you are saying.I had the unfortunate opportunity to talk to my four year old about how the cat had eaten her pet chicks.On the walk home from school “Daddy wait! We need to get grasshoppers for Punky and Brewster!” (I forgot the second ones name, so I will just call her Brewster for now)“Ummm. Mona… Not today, OK. Just wait till we get home.”She cried a bit when I explained why we did not collect grasshoppers for the chicks (the cat had eaten them)But I asked her “What happens to the grasshoppers we always collect and give to Punky and Brewster?”Her: “It becomes poop and food for the plants.”Me: “Yep, and now Punky and Brewster are now food for someone elses plants - wherever Kinney (the stray cat that lives in our garage) poops.”She was fine with that. She asked to see the remains (a bunch of feathers and a wing) and then to burry them in our garden so it becomes food for our plants.A few weeks later we were at a shrine, and she stopped to give a prayer, which she usually does not do. I asked what she was thinking about, she says “Punky and Brewster”.Kinney still lives in our basement three years later, and despite her best efforts to pet him, we have yet to make physical contact, but she will leave fish and other “gifts” for him.I had my first brush with death when I was in fourth grade. My best friend was it by a car and killed. That morning I will never forget when my dad kept telling us to “hurry up and eat breakfast”, pushing us much faster than normal.Then he told my brother and sister to just stay in the kitchen and took me to my room where he and my mom told me the news. They said I did not need to go to school that day, I do not remember crying so much and also it is one of the few times I remember hugging my mother (especially for so long) when I was a child, but I said I wanted to go.All the kids were asking me “Did you hear about [friend’s name]?”. Yes of course I did. For some reason I did not loose it.I do not know that the talk I gave about poop an becoming food for the plants would have helped me at that time, but I am glad that my daughter has a grasp on death earlier than I did.
When is a healthy age to tell children that Santa Claus is not real? Is it ethical to lie to them if they ask?
When it comes to Santa Claus, people should not be so very stone cold literal. Would you tell your child she could not read stories because they are, “not real?” Actually, I do know some parents who do not allow fiction because it is all “a lie.” It is something that has a deeper truth below the physical or historical reality.I never told my children that Santa was literally flying around our roof, but Santa always did bring something on Christmas.I did tell my children the story of the real Saint Nicholas. Of course they know that nobody lives forever, but that the ideas of Saint Nicholas are carried on by people through the years as they give to others. In a very real way, I encouraged my children to become Saint Nicholas to others by anonymous giving.Santa Claus was never about getting something. The real Santa Claus has always been about giving. The real miracle is the happiness you feel when you help someone else, as Saint Nicholas once did. When they are old enough, invite them to become secret givers.
What age should you have the 'Santa talk' with your kids?
I always went to church when my kids where little, and so as a Christian it was fairly simple and easy for them to understand that there was no Santa, that Christmas was all about Christ. And so on night after my husband had been out shooting rabbits we told them he shot Santa and the kids just laughed thinking he had lost his mind and told him so. They would have been about 3 the oldest and I had a 2yr old then and a baby. The baby never believed in Santa for a second. They loved and still love Christmas. They knew we bought them presents and they'd to wait for them till Christmas, we decorated the house and did everything that people who believe in doing Santa. We just never did Santa.