Why does my baby avoid looking at the person holding her?
My 3 and 1/2 month old baby girl will totally avoid looking at whoever is holding her when held in an upright position. She will smile and coo and make eye contact with anyone when she is laying down. If someone is holding her, she will smile and make eye contact with the other people around her. She is hitting all her milestones on time, but I am worried because I have never seen a baby do this before. I know that not making eye contact is a sing of autism, so it worries me- BUT at the same time she does make plenty of eye contact with me and other people, just not with the person who is actually holding her, she turns her head the other way. And this only occurs in the upright position, if i hold her so that she is laying down and looking up at me, she will look me in the face. I don't know if this is something to worry about, or if she just likes to look around when held upright, or if it could be a vision problem. Any advice would be helpful!
If someone avoids looking at you?
Word Diane S!!! They're shy, nothing more nothing less. . .
Is ignoring someone who did you wrong a sin?
Forgiving someone who has wronged you does not make the 'forgiven' a trustworthy person. The only thing that can do that is repentance (on their part) and acts of contrition. The people who sinned against you must make amends and PROVE themselves trustworthy again. They, and many other people, may not think this a big deal, but it is. You went to someone (or several people) that you looked up to for prayer, and confessed a sin. The ONLY thing that should have followed (from them) was prayer and godly counsel. After that, they should have kept their mouths CLOSED. Instead, they used the situation for gossip, slander, and public shaming (disfellowship). That is SERIOUS SIN. A simple apology will not cut it for this. THEIR SIN WAS PUBLIC, their REPENTANCE and CONTRITION must also be PUBLIC, or else it means NOTHING. If these people want to make nice with you, then let them bear the same public shame that they heaped on you. Let them admit, in an open forum (say, in front of the youth group, with the adult leaders present) what they did to you, and accept whatever discipline the group decides. That would show real humility and repentance. If they do that, then go ahead with the reconciliation. Nothing will, or should, be the same in your relationship. Hurt and forgiveness changes relationships. That is their nature.
How do you stop loving a person who has hurt you and broken your heart so many times?
I had a mentor in High School, Carl Manna, who gave me the most sage advice on love and heartache when I was 27. My wife had just left me and he told me this:“The pain never goes away. It only gets different.”I sat on his couch, tears in my eyes, a beer in my hands, and a hole in my heart. I didn’t really understand what he meant. He tried to explain it better, but he also let me know that I would understand it much later.After much pondering on it I came to my own analysis: That I wouldn’t just stop loving her. That the pain of her betrayal would never cease to hurt. That memory can not not be painful. Instead, I had to learn to deal with it. You absorb the pain piece by piece, until one day, it no longer pangs on your heart strings (unless you willfully let it). When I look back on those memories of our time together, they’ll be tainted by the memories of our separation, but I also still cherish them.It took me months to get around to understanding this and coming to my own definition of it.Every time someone I know goes through the terrible times of love lost, I let them in on his secret. I won’t give them the regular platitudes of “It gets better with time” or “Just live today, not yesterday” or “Keep keeping on”. I know they want to punch whoever says it in the face.I too, know what looking down the barrel of that gun loaded with dispair feels like. Instead, I just let them know that I can understand some of their pain and give them the same advice.
When some people are angry they avoid eye contact, why is that?
That is kind of a broad question. It doesn't say what those people are angry about or if you are the person they are angry at or if they are just angry in general and you have noticed that when they are telling you about it, they avoid your eyes. All of which might hold different answers.If they are angry at you, then I would have to agree with a previous answer and say it is possible that they are feeling hurt and betrayed by you as well as anger. Looking you in the eye might just put them over the edge it your eye might end up black instead of avoided being looked at. It could also mean they feel guilty because they know their anger is misplaced or that they had some part it in and to look you in the eye is putting all the blame on you and that feels dishonest. They are usually protecting something, whether it's you from their wrath or the truth of other feelings. They might be worried that you would see right through the anger they are using as a defense mechanism and feel quite volnurable so it's better to keep their head down and only emmit anger. If that is the case, until they are ready to tell you what is really going on, give them space to figure it out instead of guessing. They will get there…
Why are people preoccupied with revenge when they feel wronged? Why can't they avoid the person and just move on?
Revenge is mine, saith the Lord.Revenge has been around a very long time. Some psychologists have referred to the need as related to having experiencing narcissistic blows to their primary sense of Self in the past, which are reactivated when people do or say things which remind them of these earlier wounds. It isn’t rational, but a highly reactive response of lashing out in anger at such times, and if the offender may carry around the offense (connected with the primary wounds) for an entire life time, and speak of it to his/her children, who then when they get to be parents, talk to her/his children about it.It’s the “ gift” that keeps on giving inter generationally, sometimes resulting in one generation finally having an opportunity for pay pack against a person, people or Nation far removed from the earlier primary offense.Such is the way of human beings.bk