How do stay-at-home moms make friends?
Being a stay at home mom can be extremely lonely. Believe me, I know. When my first son was born, I was working out of the house on our family business, while his father traveled for work. I was 24, a bit of an introvert, newly living in Los Angeles, with a little one on my hip. I had minimal interaction with other people; most of which was by phone with a dear friend we call an auntee, my mom and an acting class I went to once a week (yes, you’ll find many actors are introverts).I got super reclusive and depressed which led to more reclusivty. I didn’t know people with children let alone people with babies. This went on for years. It’s a cocktail for disaster. My best friend was my baby. My entertainment: my baby. My mission in life… my security… my baby. Not healthy. Not healthy for me. Not healthy for him. Not healthy for my marriage. Not healthy for a wanna be actor. No one told me about mommy groups, we didn't have the internet the way we do now and in truth I didn’t know any better. In my simple, young mind this was now my life.It wasn’t until my son started going to pre-school that I truly started making friends on terms that were solely based on enjoying being with each other and not work related. It was when he was in kindergarten in NY when we finally really hit our stride. To this day, my dear friend Robin, another mom I met in the halls of PS 9, doesn’t know how much she pulled me out of my shell.Almost a decade later, my second son was born. Still a bit of an introvert and back in Los Angeles, I was bound and determined to do things differently. I forced myself to make coffee dates, we checked out all of the local activities, I joined mommy play groups, and finally even created one of my own!Get online and find groups to join! They are everywhere today. Use Facebook and mom blogs. When your child is at an age when she’s going to school, volunteer to help out. Join women doing things you believe in. Ha! I’ll even give an unabashed plug! Write something on parenting for http://www.realmomdaily.com. Tell us about the groups you find! Talk about the issues you have. We’re in this together! We as women have the tools to empower each other. Don’t do this alone! Congratulations on your growing family! xoxo Mack
Should I meet up with my online friend? I’m 13 and she’s my age too. She has divorced parents like me. I don’t have any real friends in real life - she understands it.
Should I meet up with my online friend? I’m 13 and she’s my age too. She has divorced parents like me. I don’t have any real friends in real life - she understands it.First, taking you at your word, I am sorry that life has not been as good as it should be for you. I hope you can make more friends and can maintain a good relationship with each of your parents despite their divorce.About your “on-line friend”: Unfortunately, there are a lot of traps out there for boys your age, adults claiming to be something they are not. I would not advise meeting this person outside of a very carefully constructed situation that will ensure your safety.You are probably best off meeting in a public place and NOT GOING TO THE MEETING ALONE. Get one of your parents/adult or near adult (large) relatives, teacher/trusted neighbor or friend to take you. In fact, if you can, also get one of her parents to meet your “adult” first, then you two can meet. I know that this is not the height of romance, but you have to understand the danger here.If there is no other way, meet by Skype or other video conference (preferably use a “burner account” set up for this purpose, and advise her to do the same). It is a lot harder to fake being a 13 year old girl (or boy) in real time video than it is over email/messaging.Also, make sure that there is no way for the person to identify you further. Hopefully you have not already shared what school you go to (or what city you live in if that is small enough to give away your school) or in fact your name, address, etc. But also realize that creepy people are quite devious. Seeing the car you get out of/into might be enough for them to find out where you live, with you unaware that they are event watching. Maybe park away from meeting spot or take Uber to the meeting.I know the prospect of a friend is really tempting right now. I truly hope it works out for you. Just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be careful until you are ABSOLUTELY sure you can confirm the friend’s identity.
Should parents allow their child to meet their internet friends?
I’ve met up with an internet friend two days ago.I’ve been talking with that person for about 6 years online, and that person told me that they were going to a convention called Dutch Comic Con. I’m a fan of that too, so I invited a friend of mine to go with me and meet up with my internet friend to walk around the convention together.My mother came with me because we needed to go in the same direction so she met my internet friend as well. She was pretty fine with it as we were talking for 6 years already.Before that I met up with another internet friend, that was 2 years ago. I know that friend as long as the other one. So 6 years now. We met on a busy place, at the train station. So if something happened it wouldn’t be a shady place all alone. I didn’t inform my mother of the fact that we only knew each other online and instead told her we met at a park a few days ago and it clicked. We went to my home to get some movie tickets and then went to the movie.My mother was a bit angry with the fact that I lied to her, but I still regret nothing. My mother can be a bit overprotective (Asking questions multiple times for hours just to make sure I won’t do anything stupid like trying to burn the place down or something) so I didn’t want to tell her. She told me that she would’ve been fine with it if I told her but that she might just travel with me to see if my internet friend is alright.So if you or your kid ever wants to meet someone from the internet, make sure it’s in a place with lots of people. Best to do it while knowing each other for years, not for days. If you still feel unsafe with it take someone else with you to meet up.
My mom has a few new friends and they are bad influences on her; they go out and get drunk together and then drive. What can I do to keep her safe?
You can’t control what your mom does, anymore than you can control the sun coming up in the morning. You can go to Ala-Teen which is a group of young people who have parents with risky life styles that just happens to include alcohol.It’s a lot to ask of a teen ager to watch a mother go out and drink, knowing the danger to herself and others while driving. At the club you will meet other kids like yourself who hang out and play games and talk about some of the shit that is happening in their lives. It helps to have others who can give you some support while you go through this tough time.I’m sorry you have to go through this. No kid deserves to watch a parent potentially do great harm to themselves, I know that it hurts terribly. Look up Ala-Teen in your city directory or on your cell phone and give them a call or just show up for a meeting. You’ll be glad you did.Here’s a number to call if you need someone to talk to while you’re waiting to go to a meeting. call: 1–800–448–3000. you will be greeted by a counselor who understands your situation. You will get through this. I hope angels are looking out.Thanks for the request.
21 year old Mother??? Lost friends???!?
i am in a very similar boat. I am also 21 years old and I have a 4 month old. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. I had tons of friends and 3 very close friends. We we like inseparable, if you saw one of us, u were sure to see the other 2...now I'm lucky if i see or hear from ANY of them. Only 1 of them came to the baby shower, and non of them have seen my son. Basically, we/you are on a different level than your friends. My friends still want to party, drink, smoke , disappear for days. Since, we are moms now we have a precious responsibility and cant be as spontaneous and carefree, try talking to them about it...they may realize that they are wrong and that you are the same pal they hung out with not too long ago. My friends on the other hand didn't even want to stop smoking when I had my son with me so we have yet to hang out since then. I chose to find new friends. I still love them to death and would hand out with them if i had the change....maybe...but i found that i enjoy spending time with other mothers. I have met people while shopping for my son (babies r us...target...grocery store) also there are great groups on line, here at yahoo for young moms...just search...u may even find some in your area. good luck. you can e-mail me anytime...we seem to have a lot in common.
How can a teenager who's homeschooled meet new people?
Have you stopped to think about the idea that maybe kids inpublic school seem more mature because they are really forced to grow up faster because of peers and peer pressure? Many of them are already having sex, smoking and doing drugs, just to be cool. It is ok to goof off and be silly, you are still a kid, enjoy it while you can. As long as nothing inappropriate is going on I would just enjoy my friends. You will have plenty of time to act grown-up and be mature when you are an adult. I am glad to see you are involved in church and home school groups. It really seems to me that you are the immature one here by judging and being extremly critical of your friends. You must stop and ask yourself if you are truly being the best friend you should be and if not how YOU can help the situation. No one wants to be friends with someone who thinks of them as immature and boring. If the naughty ways(parties, sex, drugs, gossiping, cliques, popularity clubs) of the typical public schooler is what thrills you, then you have your agenda all wrong!
Nervous about meeting other moms...?
As an older mom, I can tell you that the nervousness is still there. Being a mom is one of those places where you're open to so much judgement -- how you look, how you parent -- it can be really intimidating. But these groups usually form in order to create a supportive community, not to mommy bash. So, try to remember that this is a group of people who will understand (and largely relate to) the fears that you have. Get out there and share with them. Worst case, you don't enjoy the group and find another one. Best case, you create a new network of friends and supports.
My daughters friend's mom is an alcoholic..?
I agree, however I would certainly be very open to having my Daughter's friend spend the night whenever she needed to.
How do you tell your mom you want to go out and meet new people because you feel lonely and depressed, and what do you do if she won’t let you?
If you’re a young person, then you could ask her to allow you to invite friends over, if she is over protective.If you’re an adult, you might need to consider getting a job and moving out.If she is keeping you home so that you are her captive “friend” and “companion”, you could try being less of a friend and companion to her, if she refuses to let you make friends of your own age and choice.If you’re a teenager, try telling her (don’t ask for permission) that you are going to meet your friend or friends and you’ll be back at a certain mutually agreed upon time.Be polite, but firm and assertive about it.Start small.If she agrees and when you return act/behave positively towards her,Such restrictive and controlling parents may be afraid for your safety and afraid you might get harmed out of their purview or are unhealthily possessive and don’t want to “lose” you to friends, family or others.