Which Gender Is More Likely To Get Drunk At A Xmas Party And Forget Which Account They

If your boyfriend was kissed by a drunk girl at a party (he was drunk and he didn't push her away), would you consider it as cheating?

I wouldn't consider it cheating. I'd consider it drunken behavior and argue with him about it later when he was sober.The trouble with drunken behavior is that it is often so egregious, yet the drunk gets a pass on it because they were drunk. The drunk can claim a kind of innocence, which can be infuriating. Here's what you do: write off the behavior and go after the real culprit, the drinking.I've very often been the drunk in question, so I can tell you that being drunk can create feelings where they never existed before. This is in contrast to the in vino, veritas tradition which states that people always speak the truth when they are drunk. You are worried that your boyfriend harbors some secret passion for this girl whom he kissed (he didn't push her away) that only comes out when he is drunk. It is probably not the case at all.I know I don't always speak the truth when I'm drunk. In fact, I'm more likely to make up elaborate stories and believe crazy stuff when drunk. The last time I was seriously drunk, we were out listening to some impromptu live music, a sort of retrospective on the big band music of the WWII era. The music was so evocative of that time and place, that I collapsed into tears, hallucinating about the brave young men who died fighting at Dunkirk. It was quite silly and embarrassing and is the main reason I decided to stay sober.If your boyfriend has a tendency to get drunk at parties and do stupid stuff, then he needs to quit drinking. Don't worry about the kissing. Clean up the drinking and the kissing will follow.

My boss was drunk at an office party and was telling people how she would sexually handle some of the men in the workplace. Now that we are back at work, how should we go about our business normally?

With a smile. She is probably MORTIFIED!People say a lot of things when they are drunk. If I’d filed with HR every time a drunken male coworker said something to me, I’d be there 50% of the time.She’s not a man that weighs twice as much as the men, so the impending threat is not there a much as it might be for someone a lot smaller. It is only a real issue if she continues such behavior while sober.In the mid 1990’s, when a large group of us in a large company’s emissions test facility, got our first sexual harassment video, someone asked if anyone had filed for harassment officially yet. The HR lady said that all claims so far were for men reporting men trying to pick them up. We women grew up knowing how to handle the advances of men. Men hadn’t.If the party was an official event that officially allowed liquor, you can’t report her for drunkenness. She will no doubt have heard about what she said, and is no doubt mortified. Such behavior while sober, and especially as a power play tit for tat, would justify action.For those of you too young to remember the workplace in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s:A comment I left below, and added it here:There are only so many good jobs out there. When you start “standing up” for every little thing, expect to be both “right” and unemployable. The old boys’ network is still very strong, and now includes some women. Clearly you’ve never been drunk and said something you regretted. I have, and I have also been told many things by otherwise fantastic drunk male coworkers that you would no doubt report. I have a new project coming up, and it involves a lot of brainstorming that will no doubt include a few ideas that are not PC while we “anneal” our way to a perfect balance. There is no way in hell that I am going to include a certain woman at my company who was worried about a printout discreetly placed on her male coworker’s desk, that she walked over, snooped, and then reported to HR because “what if a man had placed that on a woman’s desk”? It was directions on how not to drop a woman on her head while ballroom dipping her — the title was almost exactly these words. Report every stupid little POS at your peril.

My GF went to her company’s holiday party at night, got drunk, and didn’t come home. What should I do?

My GF went to her company’s holiday party at night, got drunk, and didn’t come home. What should I do?I need to tell you that this question reads like you are assuming she has cheated on you. Specifically the inclusion of “at night”, like there’s something worse about her going to a party at night than during the day.But on to answering your question.My fiance has done exactly what you’ve said your girlfriend has done. He went out to his company holiday party at night, got drunk and didn’t come home.When I was very insecure and jealous, I’d blow up his phone all night trying to reach him. I was insanely worried that he was either dead or cheating on me.I’ve since worked on my jealousy and I feel much better about him going out whenever. So here’s what I did once I’d worked on my jealousy:Texted him once or twice. Let him know he is loved and that I couldn’t wait to see him. Asked him to give me a call if he needed help getting home. And then went about my usual business. Went to bed etc. Checked for messages or calls in the morning. If he hadn’t contacted me by then, sent him a good morning message and assumed he’s sleeping the alcohol off at a friend’s place. If he hadn’t contacted me or came home by 24 hours after he left, gave him a call.My approach is quite casual with sporadic contacts to ease my own worry and give him opportunities to contact me if he meant to but forgot. Since we have a daughter together too, I might include a little story about what she did while he was away or a video of her saying goodnight to him.

Is it appropriate for people to get drunk at family Christmas gathering? What can be done?

Ah the “MacDonald Family Christmas”!As a kid I never thought about my lot as appropriate or inappropriate. Probably just as well really.We lived across the road from the paternal grandparents, so load up the pressies & walk over about 10:00am.Grandma, daughter & daughters in law organising lunch. Self included there were 18 grand kids(12 of them boys). I was the eldest girl so was left to look after the youngest kids. I changed nappies, gave bottles, stopped the tears, played peekaboo, whatever was needed. Some of my cousins took their first steps in my care. “Isn’t she a good little mother” was sprouted regularly. This may be why I had my one & only child at thirty, I was “parented out”.Grandad, his four sons & one son in law knocked the top off a couple of coldies, then a couple more & so on & on & on. There was always a couple of dozen bottles on ice & more in the back fridge.Once lunch was over & everything washed up & put away the wives joined the throng. Two of my aunts could keep up with the men & at times overtook them, the rest didn’t drink much. The conversation got louder & somewhat bluer, at which point mum would bundle up us & our pressies & we’d head back over the road.“MacDonald Family Christmases” were, in the main, noisy, fun & friendly affairs. “MacDonald Family Weddings”? Entirely another matter…… but that’s another story:-)

Why do sober guys at parties try to make out with drunk girls?

Because they are predators.Drunk women may be more likely to engage in sexual behavior for a verity of reasons. They also may have diminished capacity to resist. the more you drink the harder it is physically to push them away.Also, they are socialized to think this is ok behavior and that sex is a conquest. rather than something two people do together because they want to, they look at sex as something they get or take from a woman, something that she gives up. Again, it's a predatory model for sex, and it's very common in our culture.in fact, it's more uncommon to question it than to accept that it's the way things just are.Aditionally, if you are drunk they may be able to force you, convince you, not take no for an answer etc, and later say that you consented but don't remember because you were too drunk, lied because you regretted it later, or failed to say “"no,” or even failed to behave as though you really meant no when you said it.While anti-rape activists stress that drunk women can not give consent, our culture still often allows men to use her drinking against her in a variety of ways. So many men feel like they have several “"built in” excuses if the woman is drunk. (Again, predatory.)ALSO, PLEASE NOTE, I DID NOT SAY “"ALL MEN.” I AM SPEAKING ABOUT THE MEN WHO ACT THE WAY THAT THE OP MENTIONED. HOWEVER, MOST WOMEN KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE THAT THIS ISNT RARE BEHAVIOR. SO ATTEMPTS TO GASLIGHT AND MINIMISE THIS VERY REAL PROBLEM, ARE BEST IGNORED.