Who Do You Think Is Lying Urgent

Why do we procrastinate on urgent things? I should actually be studying for an exam instead lying on the sofa. I know many people who simply do nothing before important deadlines. Why do people behave this way?

We call this avoidance! It’s super normal, even though you end up suffering more in the long-term for that immediate relief of not having to do anything. I write about it here: The Allure of Avoidance. An excerpt is below.1. Avoidance reinforces avoidance. That relief I talked about earlier? That’s a brilliant reinforcer. In psychology, reinforcement tends to make a behavior continue. Just like you give your dog a treat when she sits or pay your kids their allowance when they do their chores, that relief that accompanies avoidance acts as a reward for avoiding. So not only did you not do the thing, you feel GREAT about not doing the thing. You think, “I feel so good because avoiding the thing was the right thing to do.” (PS: this is called emotional reasoning: will cover this in a future post.) Maybe you don’t even feel relieved anymore. Well, the absence of that immediate anxiety is just as reinforcing (we call it a negative reinforcer: negative = absence of something, reinforcer = makes behavior increase).The problem with that beautiful relief, though, is that it is fleeting. I wish I could remember who said it, but the wording was great- the chronic pain of avoiding is much worse than the acute pain of doing the thing. Notice neither is painless! I’m not trying to convince you that “if you do the thing, it won’t be as bad as you thought.” It might be just as bad as you thought! The problem, of course, is that it will always be what it is, whether you do it now or after avoiding it, and by avoiding it, you subject yourself to both the acute and the chronic pain.In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, this is referred to as pain versus suffering. Every human experiences pain. That’s life. That’s how you know that you are alive. Pain is unavoidable, and therapy will not teach you that you can live a pain-free life. However, we do bring suffering (or the chronic pain referred to above) to ourselves by spending time trying to avoid inevitable proof-of-life pain. That’s something we can work on.

How do I know if my dentist is lying about the number of cavities I have to make money?

Outright lying and performing unnecessary treatment is very, very unlikely.  Early decay between teeth can only be seen on an X-ray. Although you may have been going to your dentist every 6 months, X-rays are not usually done at every visit, especially in patients who do not have a history of frequent decay. Additionally, if your old dentist used traditional X-rays and your new dentist has digital X-rays it can be much easier to detect very early decay as the image can be blown up and the contrast adjusted to pick up nuances that can't often be seen on traditional film. Decay that has invaded through the enamel into the underlying dentin requires treatment, but there can be some difference of professional judgement as to when to stop "watching" an area of early demineralized enamel and when to treat it. What can you can do? Dentists detect decay three ways: from X-rays, visual exam, and by feel with instruments (dental explorer). Ask your dentist to show you how they found the decay and what the decay looks like on your X-ray or visually on your tooth (with an intraoral camera if they have one) and be curious and ask questions such as when do they recommend filling a tooth rather than trying to remineralize the enamel and "watching" it.  Most dentists love to answer their patient's questions and show them why they need the treatment that they are recommending. Also, try to bring copies of your most recent old X-rays (or have them emailed if digital) when changing dentists. Sometimes a spot that looks like very early decay can be an old lesion that has remineralized and if this is the case it may appear visible but unchanged over the years (and this knowledge may prompt your new dentist to watch rather than treat). Lastly, you can get a second opinion from a third dentist but be sure to bring your current and ideally your most recent previous set of X-rays. Some dentists will do these second opinion visits as a no charge consultation.