How do you know if you are being irrational?
How do you know if you are being irrational?Hi Carolyn.Knowing can be knowing something correct and knowing can be knowing something incorrect.Knowing something incorrect would be just the feeling of knowing and also being wrong.In the same way knowing something correct would be the feeling of knowing and also being right.So both kinds of knowing feel the same but only one of them is knowing. The other is just a feeling.The way to tell if you are knowing is if you are correct. Having the feeling of knowing is not the way to tell if you are knowing.*Whew. We’re only half way through the question.Since being rational is using reasoning then irrational is not using reasoning which is having an emotional experience or back again to just having a feeling.Which turns the question into; How can you be correct (inside) that you are having an emotional experience (inside) based upon being incorrect about something on the (outside)?No one like to be wrong (outside) so that usually amps up the emotional level (inside).So first clue to knowing if you are being irrational is if you notice or can notice that you are extra emotional about whatever the topic is.Noticing emotional level turns out to be the ability of ones rational side to focus on their emotional side and judge if it is disproportional. But that is just a clue.*The way to know if you are being irrational is to have a comprehensive understanding of the methods you use to arrive at what is correct or incorrect.If you understand and are confident in your methods of reasoning then it is much less likely that you will find yourself having an irrational emotional experience.One exception being that one could be correct and still be disproportionately emotional about it and be displaying irrational behavior. That would be behaving irrationally even if rationally correct.Another exception being that no one is totally rational or totally irrational and it is a balance that you are looking at and trying to achieve.Part of the quality of life is having a full spectrum emotional experience which is saying that stifling emotion is not the key. Keeping a grasp on the rational and not indulging in emotion is the key.49/51 looks like a pretty risky balance between emotion and reason but 40/60 looks fairly comfortable without missing any worthwhile experiences.I hope I understood your question correctly and this answer is in any way useful to you.
Is it unreasonable to be jealous when my boyfriend fantasizes about celebrities?
If your boyfriend is not rubbing how great Shakira is in your face whenever he gets the chance, then you are being irrational. You are also showing your insecurity, which is a big turn off. People can't control what they think about during sex, so push that thought out of your head. Rest assured, and I will bet you $950,000 USD that your boyfriend will most certainly NOT be leaving you for Shakira. I promise. I will send you my son to be your personal errand child if he does. I found that in my early 20s I was a lot more possessive and jealous and I think that came from lack of confidence. When you are comfortable with yourself and confident in what you have to offer in a relationship, you will see that your jealous feelings will greatly diminish. In the meantime, I would suggest not sharing these feelings with your boyfriend. It will only cause fights. If you want to secretly carry a pic of the hips that don't lie and smash her face with your thumb to make you feel better, then go for it, but don't let a fantasy ruin your relationship. If he is comparing you to her, putting you down because of her, or making inappropriate jokes when he knows he is hurting you, then you have an abusive relationship on your hands and you need to let Shakira have him and count your blessings as you show him the door.
How do you win an argument against an irrational person?
Aristotle wrote that there are three modes of persuasion: logos, ethos, and pathos.Logos is logic or, at least, the semblance of it. This is, of course, useless in a dispute with someone incapable of being rational. If your interlocutor rejects Occam's razor and insists that all the evidence that 9/11 was not an inside job was faked by a global conspiracy, for example, they have jettisoned any part of their brain that would respond to anything approaching logos.Ethos is an appeal to the authority of the speaker. This can be quite effective in persuading an irrational debater. It can be paired with logos to enhance it; someone that appears knowledgeable will have an enhanced aura of authority. If you can pull this off, saying, for instance, that only you can fix your audience's problems, you will often have someone chanting your name quite readily.Pathos is an appeal to emotion. This is probably your primary weapon in a debate against the basket of irrationals. This mode of persuasion stirs the soul and motivates in ways that logos simply cannot. For example, if you make your audience fear people who aren't like them (maybe they don't look like them or maybe they speak a different languages), you can persuade them to take almost any step to save them from the xenos, the stranger, even when they cleave to a religion with a central parable on the virtue of caring for those unlike you.So there you go. To persuade the irrational, discard logos and embrace ethos and pathos.
How does one convince their wife that a group of guys playing tabletop games (D&D, not gambling) is not grounds for boundless suspicions? I've hosted games at our house, but she thinks I'm just gaslighting her. I've never cheated on her.
I have seen this scenario play out in a number of groups over the years. If we can exclude any kind dishonesty from the situation, then I have been witness to several instances where there has been profound lack of understanding about D&D and other immersive games. Specifically, I have come to know people that find it very difficult believe that a group of people can actually sit down for periods of 4 and 6 and more hours at one time. Add the fact that those sedentary people are doing the same thing for that whole time is completely outside of certain individuals own experience and frame of reference—they just don’t get it and I mean they don’t get it at all!Even in the case where one’s wife has been witness to these games as mentioned here, if she doesn’t truly understand then you can bet she has vocalized complaints about it to various confidants. If one or more of those confidant’s also doesn’t understand the time and commitment to immersive games then it becomes and echo chamber of people that create a picture in their own minds to explain this activity until they fabricate something that makes sense to them. Put the emphasis on the word “fabricate” and one can see where these situations become untenable.The obvious answer to educate and help these people understand. However, the obvious answer is not necessarily easy and possibly not the right one either. The concept of the time and commitment to immersive games is so contrary to some peoples personality types that the best one can hope to achieve is for those personalities to just believe immersive game players are some flavor of crazy. This may necessitate some serious conversations about personal values and values as a couple. At the end of some serious conversations there may be compromises like one person learning more about immersive games or other perhaps choosing other games that are not immersive and then there just may be tough choices to make about how important certain value are.My humble suggestion at this stage is not to assume your wife or wife’s friends truly understand what you are doing. Also, do not assume that they will understand by convincing them to play. Some people could care less about games and coercing them to play will probably add to the taint of negativity. Take the time to have honest conversations about them and help them understand why you play these immersive games and why it adds value to your life.