I am always the backup friend, second best?
My best friend grew distant from me and started hanging out with our other friend (keep in mind I INTRODUCED THEM) And now they're best friends and I have no friends. The other friend invited me to go to a haunted house tonight and spend the night so I was really excited and then I realized.. Oh yeah.. She only invited me because my ex-best friend is working. She wouldn't have invited me if my ex best friend was available. I'm so ******* tired of this, I am not some friend you can throw on the shelf and take out when you're bored. I want to be the number one priority. I feel so alone. The highlights of my weekend are watching YouTube, eating Chinese, and the walking dead. Quite pathetic.
I feel second best to my best friend?
I mentioned this before, but there's more to it. Jane, I called her. I always feel second best to Jane. She's better than me academically, at acting, at singing, at dancing. She's prettier than me and has so many other friends. I love her having other friends, don't get me wrong. But it kind of gets depressing after a while... For example, my ex really likes her. The most popular boy in school wants her. She gets invited to every party going and is loved by everyone. I'm a little bit crazy. Hyper. People believe I have Bipolar, because one day I'm high and crazy as anything, and the next I just want to kill myself. I've tried to deal with it, but with exam stress and things like that it's getting harder and harder to suppress. Jane and I are best friends. We used to be like the same person, but I've tried to separate myself from her recently. This is because I overheard the popular guy talking about her to his friends. He was saying how hot she is, how he wants her, how he would 'destroy' her (immature I know). Then I heard one of his friends say 'Mind out, though. She comes as a two-for-one deal with Emma' and they all fell about jeering and laughing. Made me feel great. I walked past them just at that point, making it pretty goddamn obvious that I had heard all of what they'd been saying. That made them laugh harder. So now I always feel like I'm dragging her down. I feel like I'm a hinderence to her. And I feel like Sh*t. She always says 'oh no everyone hates me ahahahah' No. No they really don't. And it pisses me off because I've tried talking to her calmly about how I feel and she's always ended up angry as hell with me. What do I do?
My friend always treats me as her 'second choice'?
It is a sad, strange but certain fact of life that people will come and go, with no rhyme or reason to it. I don't think that you're overreacting, but the solution to your problem won't give you any peace or 'closure' (which, by the way, I don't think that closure exists. Things CHANGE, and the change IS the closure. Acceptance on your part .... is closure.) In all sincerity, the best thing that you could do is what I call The Big Fade. Just start putting time and distance between the two of you. No more contact initiated by you. If (by some miracle) she decides that she wants to hang out, be busy. My best guess is that she'll let you go, without even knowing that you're going. As gut wrenching as that is, I would recommend doing that in favor of trying to get her to spend more time with you. The more you ask and plead and hint, the more pathetic you will become. The only thing other that you can do is take things as they come. Next time she cancels plans, TELL HER that it's really messed up of her to do that, and that she's being selfish. She will probably tell you to stop whining or to grow up, and when she says something mean like that, your best response is to tell HER that a grown up doesn't dismiss a friend like she does. Things change. People change. You have to get used to it happening from time to time as you move through your life, and roll with the changes. *big hug* It is also my experience that there is nothing so awful that can't be helped by the ingestion of some fine chocolate, preferably in the cold and soothing form of ice cream :D
I always come second best to my sister,and im sooo tired of it!?
I'm a twin and this happened to me growing up. My sister was considered more emotionally fragile and so I was told not to highlight my achievements and that it was a noble cause to uphold hers. The upshot was that it took a long time for me to learn to toot my own horn (I was so modest, I practically put myself down). What they didn't count on what that my sister KNEW all along that I was being ignored and she felt patronized. She felt she must be stupider than me or more pathetic to have earned disparate praise. To this day, she desperately seeks approval b/c she distrusts her instincts about what she really accomplished, even though she is a noted physician in her field. Looking back, I wished I had a frank discussion with my parents about how I feel. It wasn't my job to do emotional maintentance on my perfectly intelligent and capable sister. On the plus side, I found freedom to pursue whatever I wanted and learned to please myself very early. My decisions weren't subject to the approval of others.
Why am I always the second choice to boys ?
Why am I always the second choice ? Why do boys play with my feelings, treat me like I'm nothing and like I'm not important? Am I not good enough or pretty enough? Why do boys treat me like trash I don't understand. I'm so attractive to people but I don't think I'm all that, I always felt like I'm ugly, if I'm so attractive then why do boys treat me like I'm average and I'm always the second choice
Why do I always feel like I'm second choice?
Because you probably require discernment on the chooser’s part, which means you’re likely deeper than just skin deep. Think about it… it’s hard to be complex and interesting and deep and show it. In fact, often when we try we’re labelled as ‘spastic’, or ‘weird’. People don’t get how fast our minds work. We flit through the chaff and try to say something that’s both interesting and subtle (horrible analogy but I’m sticking with it — so, ‘the wheat’).I learned the hard way in Hollywood that subtlety is lost on 99% of people. Instead, try and be overly obvious, to a fault. When people ask, “What do you do?”… instead of saying, “I’m a [worker] at [place].”, instead try saying “Last time I checked, no one died… yet.” Then raise an eyebrow, daring another question. AND That’s what you want! Right? Another question, which leads to a conversation.Now, I don’t mean that exact line. Lines suck. But what I mean is — be interesting in a way that plays to your insecurities. If you’re afraid of talking, make a comment (lie) about how tired you are from talking all day to assassins. The sigh. :)Seriously, you and I are interesting and we’re fast enough thinkers to run circles around those who judge just the skin. So do everyone a favor and learn how to step out of your skin and impress.Now, you asked, why do I feel like I’m second choice. Simple answer: You let yourself feel that way. The fact is, you’re the first choice for you. Start treating yourself as your own first choice. Start acting like you are your own best company. Believe me, people like being around others who have a sense of contentment and a direction. We’re social animals. Use that fact to your advantage, because you are self-aware enough to ask why you feel a certain way. That means you’re intelligent enough to change it.It’s a good thing. Getting picked first means you could be an ‘impulse buy’. Maybe second means someone is really thinking.Regardless, only you can turn 2nd into a positive. Nothing anyone says here or does to you has the power to do that, only you. So consider all the above suggestions on how to view yourself through a positive lens. This builds confidence.Projecting confidence is attractive and people love it.
Why does my friend always pick another friend first, then only talk to me when the other friend isn't there? Am I a second choice?
Well, you will remain a second or third choice as long as you allow it to happen. Walk away from everything that makes you sad or unhappy. If you are a second choice to somebody, its time to make him/ her feel that even you have other priorities. Often we fail to understand that love/ friendship /relationship cannot be put into someone's mind forcefully. If it is meant to be, it will be. You just cannot complain for everything thats happening around. So respect yourself enough and walk away. Let go of people who makes you feel alone. Look around and find your other priorities.
Why am i always..everyones second choice??:(?
Your never any body's second choice trust me! I felt the same way but I talked to my friends about it and everything has been better! I learned that if you meet new people give all of them the chance to get to know each other and if they don't like each other tell them I am going to be friends with everyone! Just talk to your friend's about it and if they don't accept the fact you want to talk about and they don't change anything or act like they don't care then obviously they weren't good friends like you thought! Same with Family talk to them and im sure they will realize what they are doing and tell you they don't mean to make you feel like that! None of this is about you not being a good person it's just people don't realize what they are doing! Good luck!
Why do I always feel like the 2nd choice in every friendship I have?
Why do I always feel like the 2nd choice in every friendship I have?In other questions, you indicate you feel shy and awkward, and that you have a tendency to feel jealous when friends socialize with others. You have also asked about how to get people to adore you and what to do about feeling empty inside.Your questions create the impression that you have social anxiety and feel insecure about yourself in your relationships with others.When you ask why you feel like the 2nd choice in your friendships, it seems like you could be projecting your discomfort with yourself onto your friends, and imagining that they must feel about you the way you feel about yourself.If you’ve never asked your friends for feedback about how they perceive you, then you don’t actually know if their opinions about you align with yours, or not.Some things to think about:if you genuinely like yourself, you won’t feel the need to be adored by others, and the emptiness inside you will subside.if you enjoy your own company, you won’t feel jealous about friends socializing with others.when you build realistic achievement-based self-confidence, your social anxiety will be less.these feelings you have of being different and left out are common. Some of the friends you wonder about might feel that way too.