How do you deal with a backstabbing friend?
Forgive and move on with your life.Why should we ever hang up on the past?You do not live there. It’s well past gone now.The attachment of your emotions to a moment that will never come back to repeat itself again so that you can act differently is simply a mirage.Instead of recalling how infuriating it must have been to feel this betrayal, breath in.Present moment, my friend. Focus on the now.Breath out, letting all the feelings inside flow. That’s only dead weight, and believe me, it will slow you down.And about this best friend of yours…This is a person you’ve trusted, right?This is a person with whom you’ve shared countless of experiences, right?This is a person that will do anything on earth to put your needs above theirs because they love you so much, right?No. Hell no.Everyone is selfish, it’s in our nature to be as such.Did you believe it would be any different with this person?We are human.We commit mistakes. We are no perfect. We will do bad things to others, and they in turn will do bad things to us, wherever we like it or not.Even when your heart is broken now, realize that you’ll most surely do the same to another in the future.Forgive your best friend.There’s a chance that you may or may not betray him were the roles reversed, depending on the circumstances.But do yourself a favor:Do not forgetIf he’s done it once, he can do twice—do not believe they won’t betray you againDo not put in him the same trust, even if he show signs of regret and changeBonds, even the most close-knit ones, can be broken apart in mere instants.Don’t ever hold someone accountable to your own ideals—everyone’s different"Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks."
What happens when someone is backstabbing you and spreading rumors and talking behind your back?
Backstabbing is much like bullying. It is a power grab, they are trying to manipulate you or manipulate your friends to their advantage. Cassa has the right idea, call them out, confront them in front of others to embarrass them. Encourage your friends to put pressure on the offender. One of the strongest defenses against a bully is peer pressure. If people start shunning the bully, they are deprived of their audience and their power is taken away. The effect of the shunning is dramatic.What else do you do? Realize that they have gone from friend or acquaintance all the way down to foe. They skipped right over nuisance. You avoid them like the plague and encourage your friends to do the same. That doesn’t mean that they can’t work their way back up the relationship ladder, but don’t make it easy for them.
How can I get my coworker to stop being mean to me? I also want the backstabbing to stop.
it doesn’t matter where you work, you’re always going to run into people, men and women who are fake, backstabbing, freeloaders and the only way to deal with it is to ignore it. The more you react to it the more power you give to your bully.Bullies feed off of negativity and seeing how much reaction they can get out of you. Just avoid him whenever possible, don’t talk to him unless it is related to your work, don’t hangout with employees that he spends time with, chances are they are the same kind of people he is. People make friends with those who are just like themselves.if your employer isn’t doing anything about it, you have to stand up for yourself in a non-violent way. Don’t get into heated arguments with him. Don’t get into any banter with him. Bullies get pleasure from causing pain, drama and putting others down. If you don’t give him the reaction he is looking for then he may slowly back down.Personally that’s how I’ve always done it in the past and in the present. I’ve worked at jobs that were very unhealthy, dysfunctional work environments I’ve worked for employers that hired drug addicts and all sorts of people at the bottom of the socioeconomic pool. I always do my best to get along with everyone I work with, sometimes it simply doesn’t work. But for the most part I can get along with people so long as they’re not total A-holes.Remember your co-worker is doing this to you to make himself feel superior so don’t give him what he wants by interacting with him or reacting to him.
How do you deal with backstabbing and evil-spirited co-workers?
Originally answered inDisha Chhabra's answer to What is the best way to deal with a co-worker who consistently discredits you in a passive-aggressive way?We all meet different personality types at work. Some are lazy, some are bossy, some are political and so on. During the 12 years of my corporate experience, I came across 50 such difficult to work with people and devised my strategies of dealing with them.After all, one cannot keep changing jobs running from these difficult personality types.I came up with a book ‘Corporate Avatars’ which talks of these 50 difficult personalities whom we meet and give practical strategies of working with them.For this personality type, here is one of the many tips I gave in the book:Tip : Have a diverse group of friends - Every person likes to be associated with a group; it gives us that sense of belonging. It provides a sense of security. The only problem is that by associating with one particular group, we end up distancing ourselves from many other people within the organization. If you distance yourself from other team members, then you are exposing yourself to this person who is out there weakening your reputation among these team members who don’t know you very well. Since you have alienated yourself from them, they are more likely to believe what they hear from this person.
How do you tolerate co-workers who are not wanting to work as a team?
I have found that in the industry that I work in which is the animal care industry, the vet technicians are very mean to the kennel assistants and secretaries. I have experienced this at two different places that I've worked. I am currently the secretary at a vets office. They seem to look down on anyone who is not either another vet tech or the veterinarian. I am not the only one who has experienced this. I was warned about this before entering the field. I was just wondering how to deal with it. It isn't a big deal to become a vet tech so I don't know why they think there god. I have more education then they do. I have a BS in Rehab counseling. I just wanted to make a change and love working with animals. Also, most if not all of them just have taken a quick course and have vet assistant certifications or were just lucky to move up into the positon and have no certification. They are bullys and have attitudes. I dread it when I have to ask them a question. They also try to pawn off their work onto the secretaries or kennel workers. The veterinarians are completely different. They are very nice. Should I tell them something back? Ignore it? The office manager is constantly defending us against them, so she is aware of this rift between the techs and other workers. This is a common theme in vets offices according to many people that I have spoken to who are working or have worked in the industry. If I knew or understood why its happening maybe I could deal with it better. Thanks for any advice on the subject.
Jealous coworkers?
I understand you pain! I got employee of the year at our company picnic this past weekend and my peer (my Simi 'equal' at the corporate office) and her husband came to me after the awards to tell me how they think she should have gotten the award. All I could do is say, ‘I am sorry for your disappointment, but there is always next year.’ What could I have said? I felt embarrassed. It was a peer vote. I felt, as well as others, that I had deserved my title. I feel that the Corporate World is just like High School… it’s just a bigger pond with older people in it. Nothing really changes other that the surroundings and age. I feel that if you are having this problem…. You must be doing something right, or else their would be no reason for them to be so competitive with you. You give them a run for their money, force them to work harder. Many people don’t want to have to do that, they think that they shouldn’t have to prove them self’s. And when they do try and prove themselves… they are directing it in the wrong direction. And sometimes, people feel that they are less than what they should be so they attack others who they feel shouldn’t be where they are at in there job. Little do they know, nor take the time to think, that there are reasons you are so successful. They don’t see all of what you are doing. They do not try to place themselves in the shoes of others that they criticize, instead they attack them. I am sorry that you have to deal with the malicious attacks by other women. I am not sure as to any advice I could offer you. Other than keep your head up, and don’t let the jealousy of others get you down.
I helped people who ended up backstabbing me, what should i do?
Lesson learnt…!!! Now don’t let this impact you..!!Stay away from such people next time. Start observing people before trusting them. Once you know your friends are trusted ones who will not back-stab you, you will be fine..Dont let yourself be hurt again by such people… Help everyone who values it..In fact, be thankful that the above incident happened with you, which made u realize whom you were calling friends were never anything close to what friends are supposed to be..Take it positively. You will get back your money in some means. The universe is not that mean to good people..Have faith. :) Stay Happy
How do you respond if someone says something derogatory, insulting, or just plain rude to you or your loved ones?
In my experience, people who are rude or mean, are hurting souls. They’re trapped by their own fear of others or fears of the world. Those people are just taking their fear, and smearing it all over other people. So when someone is derogatory, insulting or rude, it really has nothing to do with you. It’s all them and their “stuff” (their fears).When I have the misfortune of engaging with someone who makes me feel degraded, I practice separating that human from their fears (which assumedly are showing up in their action/behavior), and I exit the conversation/engagement as quickly as possible.In the circumstances when someone is willing to hear feedback (a friend, a colleague, etc.), I give the feedback. It might be something like, “It occurs that you’re angry, and I have it that this doesn’t have to do with me.” Or, “Hey, you seem worked up, is something going on? Do you need anything?”If the person gives me LOTS of agency, I’ll actually call what I’m hearing/seeing. That looks something more like, “I’m hearing a lot of complaining, and I’m wondering what you actually need underneath that complaint. I’d prefer not to talk in circles about what you’re upset about, so what do you need to move this conversation forward to be productive? And if that’s to go complain at someone else, that’s totally cool with me, I’m just not interested in being part of this complaint-fest any longer.”If you have specific examples you want to work through, shoot me a response and I’d be happy to help you craft your response.