Why do you feel unhappy when you see your ex with someone else?
I will answer this using some analogy. Imagine a moment which you spent with a small kid (I hope you did). You see the kid playing with his favorite toy and you snatch it from him. What will the kid do? He will start to cry and yell demanding the toy back. Why does he behave that way? BECAUSE THE KID LINKS PLEASURE PLAYING WITH THE TOY AND WHEN THE TOY IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE HE FEELS PAIN.The same thing applies to us. We used to get pleasure from our partners and in spite of the break up we feel unhappy when someone else is with our ex. This is one of the main reasons for feeling unhappy. Our partner is the source of our happiness and when she/he avoids giving us happiness and instead becomes some other persons source of happiness we would naturally felly unhappy. Some other reasons could be regret if the relationship didn’t break consensually. Also, ego can be one of the reason as you might feel neglected and rejected by your ex as she/he chose someone else over you.We talked about the reasons of feeling unhappy above. Its a problem and we need to focus on solution for the problem. So what are the solutions to get over the unhappiness? (I hope all of us want to be happy).First thing is to understand that all our negative emotions always try to give us a positive message. For eg, negative emotions like guilt, regret, hurt, loneliness etc always try to say something positive to us however we always try to avoid the message by negative behaviours like self pity, smoking, drinking etc. Instead, we must create more good ways to give ourselves pleasure. We must not depend on someone else for our happiness. Our source of happiness should be something that we can control ourselves. Do you think you can control your partners mind so that you get happiness? Obviously not and you shouldn’t be doing it too.
I'm dating someone, but I still have feelings for someone else, what to do?
I've been dating someone for 8 months, i adore him. But there's someone else... I liked him last year around now, went home for the summer, and when I came back here (in august) i figured he would never like me, and didnt expect him to. So I started dating someone in September, then, months later, in February, my old crush admits to me he liked me and still likes me and regrets never telling me. Ever since then, I continue to question what could it have been. The problem is, i love my boyfriend, he is my best friend. I don't want to break his heart, but at the same time I want to see what I'm missing out on. I'm friends with the other guy that i still have feelings for, and we both admitted them to each other the other night. He told me he regrets everyday that he didn't tell me, and that I am one of the only people in this area that he actually looks forward to see. All of his friends make comments about it occasionally, about how he ****** up. I feel so wrong, I'm so confused. I'm 20 years old, and this is the longest I have dated anyone.. I just don't know what do to. It breaks my heart to know that my old crush had feelings for me, and never let me know until now. I feel like the longer I keep dating my boyfriend, the deeper i'm getting into this...and the harder it will be to get out. What do I do? How do I handle this?
What is this feeling of liking someone so much but not wanting to date them?
I had a very good friend who was like this before. She told me she likes me and wants to spend time with me. But when I asked her if she wanted a relationship, she said no. I felt like I was friend zoned. Initially I thought she had commitment issues. She was single for a long time and since her first relationship did not work out. She was too scared to get into a relationship that might not work. As someone answered (scared of commitment). But that was not the case.So i decided to get to the bottom of it, since it was killing me. Mainly because I started liking her and she was not ready to date me as a boyfriend. I decided to not spend anymore time with her, and just be as away as possible. She admitted to have felt really bad, but it was necessary for me to move on and date someone else.Years later we met again, she is happily married and I asked her about why it happened that way between us and it would have worked well. But she said she did not feel like dating me as she was didn't feel the love between us enough to be lost into each other. She was attracted to me physically (body language) which made me think she had something for me. It was because we both had infatuation and not love. Now we are mature enough to understand that and laugh it off. We saved ourselves through a bad breakup.I thought I should share this for your good and I hope you figure out your situation too. It might be commitment issue as well. Only you can deduce.
My ex is dating someone else.. :( what to do?
I have absolutely been there. A breakup can be devastating. I remember one day while crying over an ex, the pain felt like it was going to engulf me and that I would never emerge. Then I decided to just take a step outside of myself and realize that at that moment, that exact moment, I was ok. I was breathing. That was enough to keep me alive. The breakup was not going to do me in because at a minimum, I was breathing. The next step was to get busy. Keeping busy will keep your mind focused on what is to come instead of what was. If you do not have close friends, look at doing some volunteer work or joining organization that is of interest to begin socializing with other people. By focusing on the pain of the breakup, you are prolonging it. To let the pain go, switch your focus. You can also use affirmations to say to yourself whenever you begin to think about your ex. My favorite is: "Life goes on to brighter days, always." By knowing that something good is just around the corner, something good will be just around the corner. After being with my high school sweetheart for 2 years, our breakup crushed me; however, it also left an opening for other fulfilling relationships and the most important man in my life: my now husband.