Why Do I Avoid Deep Conversation

How do I avoid a deep conversation with an ex boyfriend?

Avoiding deep conversations for you should be easy... women know how to switch guys off. If you don't know then here's a clue... When the conversation from him heads towards something deep and meaningful, change the topic. Tell him about your work, or tell him about your new guy, even though you might not have one. Problem solved.

Why is it that, people generally avoid deep conversations/deep thoughts, especially youngsters?

Most of the young people have a lot to handle in their life . They don't stick onto a particular person for a longer period of time except for their close circles.Most of the people whom we meet in our life are temporary, once you come out of college it's over. However, exceptional case lasts forever.So people are not getting emotionally attached to the person whom they are going to spend some years of time and then disappear at some point of time.It hurts when you share your deepest conversation, thoughts with a person and at one point of time you will realize the person whom you shared your thoughts is just a memory.So when the maturity hits you will realize that you won't get along with people unless or otherwise you are sure that the person will be the one whom you can share everything forever.Sadly, that's not a case, it's impossible to find a person like that now a days. People are busy with their own work and everyone is just pretending to be getting along with each other just to get their work done, but at the bottom of the heart you know that is true.Thank you :)

How do I stop having deep conversations? This generally repels people from me.

By deep conversations, I assume you mean anything other than trivialities. So you’re talking to people who aren’t as interested as you, or don’t have the time to engage, or don’t like to think deeply about things. There are people who enjoy such conversations, but figuring out who they are is important, because if you insist on talking about things that don’t interest the other person, you’re being a bore.You probably need to learn to pick up on social cues faster. If you’re talking, and the other person starts looking visibly uncomfortable, laugh and make some self-deprecating remark like “Oh look there I go again! How about those Giants?”In fact, as a general rule, don’t talk about any one thing for too long. It’s a safe bet that changing the subject occasionally will make you a more interesting conversationalist.Then make a note to yourself that the person you’re talking to doesn’t enjoy such conversations. So unless that person initiates a deep conversation with you, stick with “How’s it going? Nice weather!”

Why do so many people dislike deep conversation?

Deep Conversations are not disliked by people, its is like now a days, people are moving fast from one thing to other, they are busy in day to day life, that they even don't get time to ventilate their thoughts and action.It makes them machine, and it inclines them towards materialistic things, like, they understand they need a comfortable life due to day to day hard work and running. It makes them unaware what they are doing and how they are moving and towards what they are moving.Deep conversations are always there, were people know, what they are doing, how they are doing? what is their goal and what they want from their life. Those who are able to know what they want to. Those who are working on themselves, at there you will be able to find conversation, with meaning to it in depth. Those people who are not able to spend time with themselves, will not able to go in depth to any conversation.

My father doesn't ever seem to want to have deep conversations. Should I stop trying?

In my late twenties, I came to understand something essential about my parents. I was always a deep thinker; even as a kid I would go straight to the heart of a matter and say the thing that NOBODY wanted to discuss. My questions /comments were almost always about interpersonal family dynamics , family history, racial or sexual politics. While they never refused to answer , my parents would often give me vague or irrelevant answers. This always hurt me because I knew they understood what I was asking but they were choosing to try to get me to shut up. When I was in grad school I was talking to someone whose family had immigrated to the US as political refugees. They were telling me crazy stories about their home life and how the trauma of living in oppression and fear had shaped their family dynamic. I started drawing paralells to my family life and came to recognize that my parents , black people born in the south in the 1930’s during the depression who came north as part of the great migration , were refugees. They lived in families terrorized by state sanctioned white supremacy ( Jim Crow laws and culture) for decades. One of the ways you survive that life is to become well skilled at not thinking deeply about painful subjects , NEVER discussing them in detail, and using a canned answer when confronted. I began to see why they responded the way they did to my attempts to better understand them and the rest of my family. This wasn't a rejection of me and my desire for intimate conversation but an inability to deal with everything my questions brought up for them emotionally. It required some empathy and graciousness from me to no longer go right for what I wanted but take what they could give comfortably. My mother died in 2001 and my dad died in 2010. I still got questions that will NEVER be answered and intimacies I desire that will NEVER occur .I tell you this to say, your dad has a history that constitutes his pain and fears. Do not doubt that he loves you but most likely gets deep in his feels when you want to get intimate. Who he is , is who he is. He made sacrifices to give you the time and space to be intellectual and introspective And YOU. He does not owe you to be open in the way you want. You can get that from other folk who have skill and want to engage that way. Find a loving common ground were you can enjoy each other. Those memories will be enough. Trust.

How can I stop casual conversations from becoming too deep?

I came across a book called ‘Life Zones - How to Win in the Game of Life’ by Richard Corriere, PhD and Patrick M McGrady, Jr. I thought it was excellent. It mentions that there is appropriate behaviour and conversational topics in the Public Zone, Social Zone, Personal Zone and Intimate Zone.The Social Zone is more about action, about working, team work, about playing sports, about sightseeing. It not personal.While those in the Personal Zone share their worries, fears, joys in a self-exposing way. Testing the ground to see whether others respond in like manner. It is a friend zone. Sharing personal thoughts and feelings.Intimate Zone is about self-love and loving others on a deeper more intimate level, even heart-breaks are experienced in this zone.Being conscious of what zone you are in is important to avoid going too deep.Hope that helps.Make a conscious effort to socialise more, take part in sport activities and realise that it takes time for casual acquaintances to become friends and friends to become great friends or lovers. Take it one step at time and observe what sort of responses you are getting. Get closer to your family if you can’t get the love and care you want from you colleagues, friends and acquaintances.