Why do I have no friends at all/am I a loser?
I haven't had a friend in almost 10 years, and he was a psychotic wannabe-goth kid who started beating me mercilessly before moving. Since then I've talked to people. I've been in every type of environment imaginable and still never had friends. I'm about to celebrate my 23rd birthday in a week and I will be completely alone for the first time. The last few years I spent my birthdays with my Mom but this year she's going to see my older brother-his b-day is the day before mine-and he and his own family cut me out of their life recently. I barely talk to or see my other family anymore because when I do they basically see a loser loaded with all the potential and looks in the world who pisses it all away. Even my younger cousins are starting to see a loser in me as they get older. They've friends, bf/gfs and lives while I just sit at home alone scared to live life. When I get jobs no one likes me or talks to me. I know my good qualities but I have no reason to feel like this!
Why do I have no friends?
I never say a bad word about anybody, I'm 19 years old and don't have a friend to ring me up and ask what am I up too this weekend, so I just work consistently. I have good values and morals, I'm realistic and honest. I believe that having ambitions and integrity is the strongest quality a person can have. I care about the unfortunate, poverty, world hunger, homeless, animal cruelty, the global issues, I'm too sensitive and insecure to atleast try get a friend because they will think I'm either 'gay' or a 'freak'. My parents died when I was little, and I have no brothers or sisters. I grew up in orphanages and went from family to family. I can't understand why it is simply too hard to obtain a social status in modern society. How hard is it to get a friend who understands you?
What is it like to have almost no friends during your early 20s?
I am 21 years old, and I wouldn’t say I have almost no friends. However, there certainly have been times in my life where I feel quite lonely and friendless. There were people in my life at that time, but I was missing closeness.Part of this issue lies with myself. (Bare in mind, however, I am no way saying that your situation is your fault. I only share what helped for me.) I wanted to get a lot out of my friendships, almost unreasonably so. With time I put less expectations on other people to be everything I want (my sense of humor, enjoyed hobbies, good conversationalist) and instead focused on the particular good of each individual (one friend to play games with, another friends to talk about books, one friend to talk about things when I’m sad, etc). This helped me grow more appreciative of who I do have.Above all, though, if you’re missing having meaningful conversations, the best way to go about fixing that is meeting people. Easier said than done - yes - but the internet has made such things easier. Have you tried Meet Up groups?Alternatively, hobbies are also a good way to meet people. Have you tried HelloTalk for English learning, or possibly trying something new? Trying a new hobby out may give you a new spark of energy as well.Regardless - best of luck. What you’re going through is tough and a challenge but do know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. These struggles are here so that you grow, and when you reach the other side you’ll be a better person because of it.
Almost no friends left in Senior year of HS.?
I'm a senior in Highschool and and I have almost no friends anymore. While everyone else in my town was out having fun on New Year's Eve, I sat home by myself like a loser. I used to play sports (football, wrestling and baseball), and i had friends from these sports, and people knew me by the sports i played. I got burnt out and quit everything within the span of one year. Though I was very relieved that I no longer had to worry about playing sports I no longer enjoyed, and appeasing asshole coaches, I have realized almost all my friends were on sports teams with me and they have nearly all faded away. Now at school I feel invisible. I am still in very good shape because I love going to the gym, but because I have virtually no friends at my school I can't meet any girls and will probably go to college as a virgin who has never had a girlfriend. I feel as if it is too late to start new friendships in highschool because everyone has already formed distinct groups and I realize now that I am not in one. I don't know if I should just ride it out until the end of the year and start fresh once I get to college. Anyone who has dealt with a similar situation or has some advice, your input would be greatly appreciated.
Why were almost none of Gatsby's friends at the funeral? Why does Nick decide to go back to the Midwest?
Gatsby's friends were only his friends when he was giving lavish parties. Nick stages a small funeral for Gatsby, ends his relationship with Jordan, and moves back to the Midwest to escape the disgust he feels for the people surrounding Gatsby’s life and for the emptiness and moral decay of life among the wealthy on the East Coast. Nick reflects that just as Gatsby’s dream of Daisy was corrupted by money and dishonesty, the American dream of happiness and individualism has disintegrated into the mere pursuit of wealth.
I am 29, have almost no friends, never had a relationship and zero interests that involve other people? Will I die alone?
We all have to die alone.It seems to me it's in your hands whether you want to be alone or not.It's ok to enjoy being alone.You don't have to have relationships or people in your life. You don't have to have a family, and in fact it's better not to, if it doesn't interest you.I think if you want to get involved with people , you can. It's up to you. Look on line at meet ups of things or beliefs that interest you. For example a video game or a book or religion. Or activity like mountain biking , something that you enjoy. And see if there is a meet up. Or create a meet up for your particular interest. That would be one way to get together with like minded people.
My friends and I have almost nothing in common. I get having friends with different interests/personalities but it’s just boring and lonely to be in a group who doesn’t like what you like. What should I do?
Participate in the activities that you enjoy. Over time, you will make friends in that activity that you can hang out with. That doesn’t mean that you have to completely cut ties with the other group, it just means that you’ll find yourself not doing as much with them. You’ll also find that when you do get back with them on occasion, one of two things will happen. You will appreciate your time with them when you do get together, or you will come to the realization that you truly have nothing in common with them and eventually you will tire of even trying to get together at which point your friendship will just slowly erode to one of more acquaintance with out a bunch of drama over “my friend left me!!”.This is normal and I’ve seen it happen tons of times, especially in high school. Two kids are friends, they were neighbors and their mom’s or dad’s were friends so they had no choice but to be social. They got along fine and played with dolls or legos or cars or whatever. Then they got to the age of recreational sports. Maybe the both played maybe one but not the other, but they were still friends regardless. Moms and dads are still friends and kids are still reliant on parents. Where the parents go, there go the kids. Then they get in high school. Classes take more time and it’s much less likely that you are in the same class together, especially throughout the day. You may have one class here or there. Then extra-curricular activities take up a lot more time. You have to dedicate more time to practice. You aren’t reliant on your parents anymore so you don’t have to go where they go which means when mom and dad get together with their friends, you don’t have to go too. Now all of a sudden, this childhood friend that you don’t have alot in common with isn’t as involved in your social circle. So the friendship goes to the wayside. There aren’t hurt feelings, he isn’t a bad guy, you just have moved on. It happens all the time.
I have no friends, no dreams, no family, no life plan and I am almost 30. How do I find a reason to live?
To just live, you don’t need one. You’re alive aren’t you?Alive and well without a reason.No friends. Don’t need them to live either.No dreams. Don’t need them to stay alive.No family. Nope.No plan. Barely matters. Plans make life harder most of the time. Life never goes as planned.Almost 30. Unless you lost all these things yesterday, it appears you’ve lived almost 30 years. If that isn’t proof they aren’t necessary to live, nothing is.They’d be nice of course. But no one has ever died for lack of a better reason, or a lack of anything you mention. They die of depression, but that’s mental illness, not a logical conclusion. Logical conclusions don’t kill people.Your problem isn’t with reasons. It’s with feelings. You feel bad. You feel anxious. Maybe you feel regret. Maybe you’re depressed.Let’s say you’re hungry. Would you be able to find a reason not to be hungry? Maybe you ate 30 minutes ago. So what. You’re hungry.Reasons don’t change how you feel. It’s just you talking over them. It’s just you arguing with them. But they don’t change. Maybe while we do this they fade a little. But they’ll fade even without the conversation. Basically, instead of just feeling bad, you were just feeling bad and talking with yourself.To feel better, you need actions. You need interactions. You need physical and emotional stimulation. You need new experiences and new reactions. And you could possibly make use of some form of medication depending on how bad it is.But heck, if you insist you need a reason, make one up. The point is, they don’t matter. With that out of the way, maybe you can face your emotional problems or decide to proactively take control of your circumstances.Ultimately that’s all life is. Life is your circumstances.At 30 with nothing, you should have absolute control over your circumstances.30 with nothing to lose, and everything to gain.Doesn’t sound bad at all. And all I did was rephrase the question.Good luck, and I hope you feel better.