Will he ever talk to me again?
Probably not. You've hit your three strikes as far as this relationship goes: 1- He broke up with you, not vice versa. 2- You went psycho on him, whatever that means, flipped out, cursed him out, called him a lot, did something bad. 3- You hooked up with his best friend. Maybe if you broke up with him in the first place and didn't do BOTH of those things you'd have more of a chance of him wanting to talk to you or have any sort of relationship with you again. He did break up with you for god knows what reason, leading to your emotions to run so high that you went "psycho" on him, and the fact that you even CONSIDERED hooking up with his friend means something shady was going on with this relationship, it wasn't completely genuine. Maybe you were more into it than him? I have no idea but it seems like you could do better, find someone who doesn't make you feel crazy or crappy and that you wouldn't want to make jealous (or hook up with his best friend.) I think your best bet is to move on to better things and better people. I hope this helps.
Will he ever talk to me again or miss me?
k….. so there is this boy he is 21 and im 19 and I really like him, and he knows that. we started talking about 4 months ago in march and we texted non stop all the time we flirted ALOT. Were juss frnds but he asked me to be his girlfrnd about 2 months ago but I had other stuff to sort out so I kind rejected him, even tho werr frnds he use to call me sweety and thinks our frndship is a “friendship or whatever” lol. he Thinks im cute, girly, pretty and beautiful. We wud always text and for the past week he barely ever replies to my text all of a sudden, I mean we had a such a good conversation 6 days ago . I asked him “r u like mad at me or sumthin” he replies “no not at all, why u ask that?” I say “cuz it seems like u don’t wanna talk to me anymore” he says “ive been bz these days” so I stopped texting him for a day and texted him again trynna play it cool saying “wazup” he never replied then, at night I was playing it cool again sayin “hey…=)” and still no reply then I say again “how come u never text me back” he says “sorry, I don’t feel like text these days, goodnight” i took advise and said this: im being clear and straightforward with you..i really like you...and u asked me to be ur girlfrnd a couple months ago and i rejected you...i felt bad...but now i like u and i want u to be my boyfrnd will u let it happen? he says: (my name) you are a good girl, very funny and girly, but im not the right guy for you, theres alot of things you dont know about me, i have been dating and doing sh**, im not ready for a relationship right now, neither do i want one. i replied: is that why you dont talk to me anymore he said: yes. i say: watever ill be ok... i think.. he hasnt talked to me scince this was 3 days ago. i dont want to stop talkin to him but will he ever talk to me again?
What shold i do contact again or wait?
i sent my boyfriend a message last night saying "do you still care and miss me like you used too" he wrot back the smorning saying " Morning babe what was that message about last night" i said " just wondering was going through old messages and things been a little different not bad just different, dont worry its ok all good". He hasnt written back or called. Has he thought it was nothing or is he angry or is he concerned and thinking about what i said. I normally call him in the arvo from work but im thinking maybe i should just give him some time to think and contact him or is that making a big deal of it. Or shouls i call him and just act normal. I dont want to make a big deal just want him to know how i feeling. The relationship isnt bad it just changed a bit and i know they do as you get too know each other better and spend more time together. I just dont know what too do.
Did your ex ever contact you after breaking up? What did you do in that breakup phase?
My ex works with me. And dumped me after getting physical with me with the excuse that we are incompatible. For me, getting intimate with a guy means he’s committed to me for the long term. The fact he lost the guts to stand up to his orthodox Malayalee family and only made an empty promise to me at the beginning was something I realized the day after he left me crying on the roadside at 9 in the night on a lonely road. And when you do that in India, it means you could not care less.Anyway, fast forward to three months later. I’m not over him. He, having moved on a long ago has acquired a new girlfriend in the office . She is the typical Malayalee girl looks-wise and wouldn’t even try to contradict you. I’m a part Bengali and don’t suffer fools lightly. Basically, he got the kind of girl sanskar loves.So now I have to watch them both flirt and canoodle. In public. Worse, they sit in direct view of my cubicle and he never misses an opportunity to chat her up in front of me. And very carefully never so much as glances my way. Though he knows I can see.The only thing i can do is hunch down and keep working. When their laughter becomes too much to handle, I get the heck out of there. Breakdown in a secluded place. Dry my tears and thank God for waterproof make-up. Return to work.
If you contact an ex after he has broken up with you, will it annoy him more or miss you?
I was going through all the answers by all these nice people mentioning that no contact is really important, and deleting all of your memories in photos or throwing away the souvenirs helps.It does not. Believe me I've tried. I set fire to everything she ever gave to me.If you've truly been in love with your ex and they have been truly in love with you nothing ever will help.Now to answer the question; I happened to call my ex girlfriend last week, she didn't pick up.We had a pretty rough breakup. I thought it was okay that she didn't want to talk to me.Two days later when I got back from the gym I saw 2 missed calls and 20 messages from her.It's been a full year, (including no contact and 'trying' to destroy each and every memory we had together).I was nervous, I had never done this before, What if she says something disturbing and hurtful to me? What if she thinks I still miss her? What if she thinks I am desperate? What if she hates me now? What if she laughs me off and hangs up.All those thoughts came rushing to my mind.When I called her back, I was breathless-Hello? - Listening to that familiar voice soothed me. - You remember me?..And then we talked for two straight hours, exactly like we used to when we were together.A day later she uploaded this.Does she think I'm desperate? - NO.Do I want her back?- NO.Does she want me back?- NO.Do we miss each other?- Probably.Love will help you grow, it's infatuation that'll kill you.
Have you ever contacted the narcissist months or years after the discard? What was it like?
Hello, and thank you for your question.There’s no such thing as a safe bet.But if you were dealing with someone who genuinely fits the criteria for a narcissistic personality disorder (and not breaking up with a regular person ) you can be almost certain that at some point they are going to want to reconnect.A “discard” means that your relationship with them has been put on the back burner while they explore brave new worlds with other people, places and things.Some things you should know, however:They never revisit you when you want or need them to. More often than not, they try to reconnect at a point where you’ve grown largely independent, and tend to have forgotten them and moved on, and,They can reconnect a week later, or thirty years later, and,They’re probably not half the man, or woman, they used to be, andYou have been on the back burner, but it’s one hell of a big stove. All their past lovers are neatly cataloged and filed for future reference.Karma, as they say, is a bitch. If you wait for them, they won’t come. Just know in your heart that one of these days, when you least expect it, you’re going to get that “accidental” reconnection.You thought it was over, and the odd time, it really is. But in their minds, they can always come home again. The problem is that they’re testing so many. It’s particularly true if they’ve had a major upset in their life, and are looking for reassurance. And they will promise anything to get it. Including a load of crap. You have been cautioned.Narcissists vary tremendously in form, shape and size. What they share is that aging does not bode well for them. Like the Dorian Grey story, they rot out quickly and tend to have early expiry dates. Captain Romance may be leaning on you less as a lover, and more like a nurse.How does all of this affect you?Know that a breakup with a narcissist is often not a stable state of affairs.They can, will and do circle back. Change their minds.And while you can’t count on it, you must certainly be prepared for that possibility. Even though the divorce is signed, sealed and delivered.How do you prepare?By being the best version of you that you can be.By working at your strength and self esteem every day.By knowing that you will get through this no matter what.That you are the Queen, or King, of your life.And that it is yours to enjoy.That you have the right to make choices, including the right ones for you.And that you will get through this. And be a better person.With love,Mandi
I still miss him. Even though he cheated on me. What should I do?
Nothing.There is absolutely nothing that you can do.Yes, you miss him. And it is going to be like that for a really long time. There are many sleepless nights yet to come. There will be those 4 AM awful times when you will need to force your way back to sleep. There will be those moments when you will beg your mind to just stop.There will be a roller coaster of emotions throughout the day. You will be angry. You will be resentful. You will be frustrated. You will be miserable. You will be devastated. You will be disgusted. You will be regretful. All these emotions taking their toll one by one.You will be tired of repeating things in your head, again and again, contemplating how things could have ended in a million other ways if only you didn't have given in to the temptations.But things happened. People changed. You stayed true. You stayed honest. You were loyal. You trusted. You loved. They loved too. And then they cheated. And it failed.I want you to just remember one thing: It was not your fault.You didn't do anything to make them do this to you. There was absolutely not a thing that you could have done to prevent this from happening. You are not at fault.Time heals everything. Damages are always healed, however deep it is. This is not a permanent feeling. There is going to be a time when you will feel better. You will be peaceful, contented and happy.All you should do: Keep moving forward.It will reduce to nothing but just a bad phase of your life. A bad choice. A wrong decision. A mistake. And we should always learn from our mistakes.And for the cheaters and liars out there-there is a special place made in hell for them and they will fly themselves there.
It's been 4 months since I had a terrible breakup, and I think I'm over my ex, but why do I still feel empty. I wonder if I'll ever be happy again?
Breaking up with someone is like a ‘little death’ and you need time to grieve the loss of all your hopes and dreams, the loss of someone you once loved and who you believed, loved you in return. It is especially difficult if the breakup is a heart wrenchingly bad one, as you have feelings of anger added to the mix. Like a death you will go through stages of grief ranging from sorrow, anger, disbelief and a sense of loneliness. Don’t believe those who tell you ‘to get over it’ quickly as you need to spend some time sorting out your feelings and also finding out what went wrong in the relationship. A relationship is made with two people and we each play a part in the breakup.Learn to enjoy being on your own, only thinking about what your needs are as opposed to someone else’s wants and needs. We can only truly know yourself when you can learn to love your own company.When you go through the grief process you will be ready to date again. There will always be the ‘rebound relationship’ but remember that dating when you are ready to do so, will make a new relationship so much easier as you aren’t carrying the baggage from your last one.Remember that there are good people out there who could be a good partner for you. Make a list of the things you really want in a partner and don’t compromise on basic values like trust and fidelity if they are important to you. Find out what values are important to you in a partner. I cannot stress this enough as a good relationship is based on values that you each share.Take care of yourself because you are worth it and let your ex go without bitterness or hatred.