How do men pick the future mother of their children ?
I think guys go for girls that a) are physically appealing to them and b) are the best they think themselves capable of. Guys want to feel lucky and proud of their woman (of course, who doesn't want that?) and so it's good for that woman to have goals, and similar views on life. And to be a bit Freudian, probably either very similar to or completely opposite from their mother, depending on their relationship with her.
Why do some women ignore the "nice gentleman" when they're young, but seek him later in their lives?
I've noticed that many women tend to constantly ignore the "gentleman" especially when they're young, vibrant and childless. These guys are usually the ones who are goal-oriented, have morals and respect women. Therefore, these gentlemen are relatively rejected by their female peers so they continue to establish themselves in their careers and life (college/ technical degrees, homes, cars, financial stability, retirement, etc.. ). Typically, many women primarily favor the "rebel/ bad boy/ jerk/ thug" type of man (especially in their youth). Not to sound stereotypical, but a lot of women intentionally produce their children from these rebellious men as well. The astounding aspect of this scenario is that many of these young women realize that their rebellious mates won't stick around to help them raise their children. After spending much of their energy and youth chasing these rebellious men, only then these same women (now single mothers) will try to seek the attention of the "nice gentleman". Finally, these gentlemen seem to appealing to them as potential mates! QUESTIONS: 1) Don't these women realize (or care) that they appear to be gold diggers? 2) Do they really hope (or expect) that these gentlemen will accept them as mates especially after being ignored by them previously? 3) Would these women be offended if these gentlemen secured their assets prior to possibly committing to them via prenuptial agreements and/ or wills? 4) Why does it appear that many women who have children prior to meeting these gentlemen usually DO NOT want to have a child with him? Thank you for your response.
Are women out to bleed men dry?
"are most women faithful?" -- women are no less faithful than men. "how can you tell if they are or not?" -- sometimes you can't. Date seriously for at least a couple of years before considering marriage. Get to know the other person as well as you can. Remember, she doesn't know if you'll be faithful either. "I find it kind of absurd that divorce laws are so bias against men" -- divorce laws in the US are not biased against men. Not sure what country you are referring to. "the fact that if a woman cheats on the man, she still gets away with more than the guy." -- that's not a fact. In the US, nearly every state's divorce laws divide the assets and debt between both parties. Nobody "gets more", unless there is a large disparity in income. The court doesn't care if you cheat or she cheats. The reason the divorce is occurring is irrelevant to the court (most of the time). Assets and debt are divided and the couple goes their separate ways. Having been divorced, I've experienced this process. "i dont want to lose it all" -- if you do, it won't be due to you divorcing. Apparently you've been listening to people complain about laws that haven't been applicable tor decades. Feel free to move into the 21st century. It's much more fair here!
Are women more shallow than men when it comes to picking a partner? I've found that women tend to be more picky on what they prefer in a man, whereas men are quite willing to "settle"
Are we grossly generalizing that women are shallow, picky, or both here? Please be careful in phrasing the question. I will attempt to answer it from one perspective.From an evolutionary standpoint, women cannot afford to be "shallow" when choosing a mate (by which I assume you mean considering only easily observable traits) because they need support, at the very least, while pregnant and breastfeeding. Men must prove themselves trustworthy and show that they will stick around before women have sex with them. Else, women are stuck with something growing inside their womb that absorbs tons of nutrients while limiting their physical ability to survive (gathering food and such). Pregnancy used to be extremely risky business.Evolution has favoured males who do stick around, both because the ones that do not help during pregnancy/child's infancy are turned down by potential mates, but also because the children who actually got help from the father had vastly higher chances of survival, and were likely to do the same for their own offspring.The answer is, neither sexes are shallow.
What causes a really good looking man to settle down when he can practically have any woman he wants?
First of all, the guy you describe in your description does not exist. Looks are not important enough to women such that a guy can walk into a bar and have every woman there swooning for him. I am a decent looking guy. I've had threesomes. I can usually go home with a woman if I want to at whatever venue I go to, but I have never had my pick of "any woman I want." I don't think exceptionally beautiful women quite achieve this either for that matter. I know guys who are better looking than me and they have comparable or less success than I do. In my experience, personality and social skills are more important than looks, but no matter what, you will never be someone everyone wants.I have decided to commit monogamously to a woman because she is everything I want. She makes me feel things weeks of one night stands never will. The sex I have with her is better than one night stand sex has ever been. The emotional support she provides me is something I will never receive from women I pick up at bars. I have someone to invest in. I have someone to call and talk to. I have someone to cuddle. I have someone who has a nickname for me. I have someone to make plans with.When you meet the right person, you stop wondering how a single woman can compete with all the other options you've met in your life, and start to wonder how all of them could ever compete with her.
Why do single men without children go on dates with single mothers, then tell her after the date that they don't want to date someone with kids?
I’ll answer this from the other side. I’m a man with children. I have three. I have an unusual parenting schedule. Any woman I have dated knows immediately that my children come first. Now, after a little time I’ve made a concession here and there. The first few years I never missed a weekend. Never. Now, after 7 years I might miss a few per year and fight for make up time. Also, their mom will take them on trips where I’ll miss a weekend. I do not want the kids to miss out on a ski trip or other fun excursion so I don’t put up too much of a fight. I’ll plan “us time” around their schedule. “My Kids will be away X days. Let’s get away and do something.”Women with kids understand. Women without kids or empty nesters understand…at first. Eventually, it wears thin. I get that. My relationships with women without kids never worked out and it was always about the kids, my time and what I put myself through to get time with them. I enjoyed those relationships as each one enriched me in some way, but I have no regrets.To answer your question, I had one woman with whom I had a great relationship who did not have Kids say to me, “I think to myself, he is good and kind. He has amazing emotional intelligence. He treats me great. We have such a great connection. Why should I hold it against him that he has kids?” Ultimately, she was trying to sell herself on me and clearly put my kids in the negative column. It was not the only thing that broke us up. I have to take responsibility beyond the kids, but in the long run, she would never be able to relate. She had never dated someone with children before me. We had a great connection and she thought she could get past it, but she couldn’t.My current (and possibly last) girlfriend has 3 kids, each a couple of years older than mine. She is very understanding of my situation and aware that I give our relationship all the attention I can. I’m lucky we found each other. I should tell her more often.
So nice guys get the left overs when women decide they are tired of hot guys and want to settle down?
Alright...here's the deal. In their teens and 20's EVERYONE is unstable. Hot chicks, ugly chicks, jerks, "nice" guys, the drunk guys, the nerds - everybody. It's just the nature of the age - questioning and exploring, being insecure, deciding what to do with your life...No matter how much you think you have it together, you probably don't. Then eventually (somewhere in their mid 20's or 30's) most everybody starts to figure themselves out, settle down, and become stable. Those who don't (both male and female) are secretly pitied and shunned by everyone (older and younger) for being 35 and still doing NOTHING! or trying to pick up people a decade younger than them at the bar (gross)! Everyone else gets a career, gets married, gets a mortgage, has kids, and gains 20 lbs! Sad (maybe) but true - It's the nature of the beast...