Should I feel guilty about the fact that I'm incapable of monogamy?
No, it is not an un-realistic social construct.. Once I married, I stayed in a monogamous relationship for what I figure will be the rest of my life. I do this because I promised I would.Yet, when I was single, I had a number of short-term relationships based solely on sex. So many, it could be considered fairly trashy.What made me change? Sorry, but this may be of no use to a gay man. I am a hetero female. I wanted kids. Monogamy is the only socio-sexual construct that works for families. Now, remember that I wanted something more than my sexual freedom. So, I was willing to do a trade-off.If you are not, well, all I say is: Think it over carefully if you are contemplating an “affair”. You have both invested some time&effort into this relationship. He truly doesn’t deserve it. You would probably have to start lying a lot and all that does is make your life really complicated. But you made no promises, as did I, did you?There is no need for guilt for thinking about it. Don’t think I don’t still remember some of my better partners from the long-ago whoring days and I am 66 years old, for Heaven’s sake!
Do males feel any suppression because of lower dressing varieties for expressing themselves?
Yes, and no.If I’m reading this correctly, you’re asking if men dislike having fewer options in clothing than women.On the one hand, it’s relatively cheap to build a wardrobe for most men. Jeans and t-shirts make up the bulk of my wardrobe, with a handful of flannels for cooler weather. That’s really all I need. But I can find all sorts of variety in those few categories, and they mix and match endlessly.A woman’s wardrobe varies much more: Pants, skirts, dresses, shirts. Cold-shoulder, tube top, halter, camisole. A half a dozen kinds of shoes and boots. Oh heavens, the boots.But they also have a bunch of baggage that goes along with that. You can’t wear the same thing often. Everything has to match and compliment. They build entire outfits, and that gets expensive fast. And once you finally get that outfit that you love… you have to carry a purse, because some ass thought it would be funny to sew the pockets shut.The only thing that really annoys me about men’s clothing are suits. Here’s a garment that is designed to strip away all individuality and personality from a person, to turn them into the cog in the machine. It makes us interchangeable, forgettable, and monochromatic. We then built an entire culture that not only encourages and promotes this sort of generic dehumanization, but we convinced the world that you needed to do this to yourself to get a job and make it past age 25. Then we hiked the price up, because suit = success. Then, if that wasn’t enough, we made cars into suits as well: all black and silver boxes that look exactly the same.It wasn’t that long ago that the men were the ones in the colorful costumes, the fancy shoes, and the variety of personal styles. I could pass on the big buckles and the powdered wigs, but I certainly wouldn’t mind if society would recover some of that individuality, and remember that it’s okay to be different. Then stop paying so much money for a sheath of wool and cotton that only exists to blur you into the crowd.
Why don't men express their feelings?
Men do express their feelings they just do it differently than women. Contrary to what modern feminism tells you *shocker it’s wrong* men and women are quite different on both a physical and mental level. The way men convey their feelings is just different from how women do it. Hell the way men and women think is drastically different. I could ask… why can’t women summarize how their feeling into a single sentence instead of talking about it for an hour? Because that’s how their brains are wired. Men and women… are different.For example men tend to not talk about how they are feeling unless they want a solution from someone. When a man tells another man (or woman) about what’s bothering him he’s not telling them the story because he wants them to listen to him he’s telling them the story because he wants a solution to a problem that perplexes him.When a woman tells another woman what she’s feeling or even a man she’s generally not looking for someone to tell her how to fix it she’s telling them because she just wants to feel understood and/or wants someone to vent to. The above is one of the key reasons I think couples tend to have misunderstandings. Men only communicate their feelings if they want a solution to something not if their just having a general bad day.My wife and I for example are stark opposites. If my wife asks me “You look down… what’s going on?” My response will generally be. “Rough day. Not in good mood. Going to play some games to blow off some steam”. That is the end of my discussion about my bad day. Where as if my wife comes home and looks upset the conversation will go like this “Babe you doing alright? You don’t look very happy.” To which my wife will reply *summarized* “Can you believe what Beth did at the office today!?! *insert 45 minutes of talking here*” See the stark difference on how emotions are expressed?Finally and this has been expressed in other posts *especially Erik’s* but men tend to get held to a super high standard in today's super feminized society. Say the wrong thing and a man can have his life ruined by some crazed loon claiming sexism. So from a social and financial standpoint it’s best to keep your emotions internalized with the exception of close friends/family.*As always there are exceptions to these rules.
How can a Muslim control anger?
Salam I know what you mean..! Read these: The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said to us: "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down." Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red. The Prophet said, "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, 'I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.' " So they said to that (furious) man, "Don't you hear what the Prophet is saying?" He said, "I am not mad." The Prophet (pbuh) said "Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution." ...It is said that he (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) mentioned anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, AND THE WORST OF YOU ARE THOSE WHO ARE SWIFT TO ANGER AND SLOW TO COOL DOWN." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth." "...and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down." I always read that ^ If I'm angry. It immediately cools me down and over the years it has helped me in becoming more cool-headed. Also, you can distract yourself by listening to the Qur'an, read some books, watch tv, whatever to get your mind off of it. Hope I helped :)
Why is atheists men more feminine than religious?
Not true. Atheist men tend to be rather obese, wearing sweat pants and a white t shirt with stains all over it and a neck beard.
In what cases would it be fine to suppress your emotions?
Today a person cut in front of me in line. I wasn't waiting for a very long time, so I didn't mind.But than he turned around and said to me “ I was here first.” This clearly was not true, and was just a little bit offensive, but I still didn't mind.Three more people to go. It’s not a big deal, Hannah.The somewhat blunt, yet at the same time also ideal answer, would be Never.Never Suppress your emotions.Explain your point of view in a discussion.Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself, the people you care about and what you believe in.As long as you are doing it kindly and respectfully, always say what you think and stay true to yourself.However, do not argue when it comes to little things that do not really hurt you in any way.People are not perfect, and sometimes it is okay to suppress your emotions.
Why do men in relationships watch porn to masturbate?
I read all of your question, and noticed you answered all of them in advance. We ARE visually oriented and constantly looking at women in public or anywhere else. If we aren't looking, we're imagining. And we DO like variety, and still love our wife AND girlfriends. To much porn isn't a good thing, so I try to keep it limited to 12 hours a day, You're not a man, so you'll never understand, like I don't understand shopping as a recreational sport. When my GF goes shopping, I know I have hours to spend on the computer. Are you angry that men would want to watch porno, rather than listen to your rant? Your ranting might convince most people you're right; but it will never convince a pair of balls.
Guys -- your girlfriend is less attractive than you are... tell me how you feel?
My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20's, been together for 6 years. I consider myself above average attractive, I do have guys chasing after me, but my boyfriend is, hands down, more attractive than I am. HANDS DOWN. The guys that hit on me are nothing in comparisons with my boyfriend, in terms of physical attractiveness. But the girls that hit on my boyfriend are all more attractive than me...... which makes me feel horribly self conscious and have a very VERRRRY low self esteem.... I have cheated on my boyfriend 4 years ago, it was a one time thing. I confessed, we broke up, but he took me back... I really do love him, and it was a stupid mistake I made when I was young and stupid.. Last night my boyfriend got very drunk and started talking (or screaming) about this. He said, "if I want girls, I can get any girl I want, young, rich, pretty, hot body, any girl I want! I dont' know why I still stuck by you after your cheating, I guess I really do love you, but you know I can have any girl I want! %^&*(*&^% YOU! why did you have to go and do that to me!" that kind of stuff........ I asked if he thought I wasn't good enough for him, he said "that's not what I meant."......... I don't know whether I should feel happy or sad about this... on one hand, I think he really does love me. On the other, I can't help but feel like he thinks I'm not good enough for him and I'm not attracitve enough, I'm not rich enough.... So I guess I wanna know... guys, if your girlfriend is not as attractive as you are, and you know it, do you really love her? Why do you still stick with her? Do you sometimes wish that she's more attractive? Do you get tempted very easily by all the girls that are more attractive than you girlfriend? Are you ashamed of her?