I don't want people in my life anymore.?
I'm the same way about social stuff. I'd rather stay at home than go to a party too. It takes a lot out of me mentally when I'm forced to socialize in that way. I don't feel like I'm as special as others; I lack whatever it is that makes you quick witted and know what exactly to say/do. So many failures with people, I mean, is it no wonder that discouragement occurred? And after you put so much energy and effort worrying about someone, thinking, caring... it ends up sucking. Things happen and it goes awry. Other people seem happier, and I think I'd want to be like the people that I notice around me. It seems like they live differently. Life is a different experience for them, and I wish sometimes I might be able to test that out. It's just that I'm so sure it'll end up a failure. I'll get bombarded with all the horrible thoughts about how loserly I am when they end up leaving again. Getting bullied by those thoughts is what really depresses me. I really wish I could just float in space or something. I don't want people worrying about me and lots of times I'd rather ignore than deal with my problems. I hate when people make comments because it makes me feel only worse. I already know the stuff they're saying and I really wish they wouldn't say it. It only makes me worry that I must look really bad from the outside; which makes me self-conscious. You know you're in a bad place when you believe there's no light at the end of the tunnel. That's when it's really gone haywire. Believing there's no possible future where things go alright is why many people end up killing themselves. My advice (and this is something I've done myself) is to find something you love. Something that no one in your life can understand and that is private and special to only you. It'll give you something to look forward to everyday and something that reestablishes your motive to get through the day. It doesn't have to be something like volunteering in a hospital... or knitting sweaters for homeless cats. It could be something like finding a book series that you find AMAZING, or finding a comedian you find hilarious, or going to reddit.com and laughing a bit, or maybe make yourself the best dang cup of hot chocolate man has ever seen... reward yourself each day for getting through the day.
Why can't I communicate with people anymore?
I am 19 and I cant communicate with other people at all anymore. When someone is talking to me the information goes in through one ear and out the other, its like I am retarded but not. I also never know to say when I have to reply to someone, like I never know the proper thing to say and I am likely to say something offensive or irrelevant to the topic of conversation without realizing it and I hate myself for it, because it makes me paranoid, unsure whether to trust people or not, I think I am losing my mind, because when I talk to anyone I start to feel really uncomfortable even over the telephone. What is wrong with me and what should I do
I'm not shy, I just don't know what to talk about with people. What do people usually talk about?
This may sound lame, but it works. Practice by having pretend conversations with random imaginary people while you are alone. Talk out loud. Actually visualize and verbalize their potential responses. Have these visualized conversations with people you know, with celebrities, and historical figures. Try to make the interactions as vivid and realistic as possible.In preparation for your pseudo-conversation, come up with interesting questions and follow up questions you might ask.The secret to great conversation is understanding that most people find themselves (even of they don't realize it) to be the most interesting person in the conversation. Don't fight nature. Your questions should be focused on topics that they are interested in and may know something about. Try to focus on areas that you have some knowledge and interesting perspective on.For example, let's say you are at a dinner party. You may sit next to someone. Ask them where they are from. If they are from a town you know something about, ask them if they have been to some famous restaurant you may have tried. Tell them how the steak is amazing there. Ask what they had. They may say fish. Now you mention a great fish spot in the city you are in. Ask what their favorite go to dinner spot is.This is easily a 15 minute conversation about food (which everyone loves) and you both may actually add value to each other's lives and learn something new and useful.Conversation is about peeling back the onion. Start with a broad question and dig deeper with each subsequent response. If you notice it's an area that either of you find boring or don't like, change topics by asking a question that changes the flow. Ask about cars, kids, job, or whatever!Questions are the answer!
How do you tell someone you don't want to talk to them anymore?
Personally, I don’t normally have to even say anything. I often use the ‘silent’ & ‘delayed’ treatment and soon they would just get the idea implicitly.For example, if this someone:Calls you, you have to let it be a missed call. Call back a few hours later (depending on your relationship / context)Messages you, again reply only after some time, never immediate.Talks to you face to face, you just keep quiet most of the time and let the person do the talking. By not engaging, he/she would soon realize that you’re not interested. Nobody would continue interacting with someone who doesn’t reciprocate.But for whatever reason the above suggestions don’t work, and you must tell them explicitly, then consider:Telling them the reason why; Because you don’t have the time, because you have some other commitments, because you can’t handle too many relationships/friendships etc. Never point that the problem is with the other party. We don’t want to burn bridges, do we? The use of reason will soften the blow. More often than not, the reasons don’t really matter. When they get the message that you don’t wish to talk to them anymore, they’ll stop.How you say matters more than what you say. I have very little information on who this person you are trying to dis-engage with. So to be safe, say in a very cordial, friendly manner. Watch your tone, your body language and expression. After all, we are trying to have 1 less friend / acquaintance, not have 1 more enemy.
Why are people so rude and inconsiderate nowadays?
there could be a couple of reasons, they weren't raised with and taught manners growing up and because kids are so dependent on using electronic gadgets/phones to communicate they don't know how to interact with others in person anymore.
What did former shy people understand about themself and social interaction that made them become confident? What did you learn about other people that makes you talk to them now?
This is a picture of me at 17 years old. That girl in the middle looking over at the camera.It was just around Spring time. I was in the school hall with all other graduating classes to prepare for ceremonies leading up to graduation day.This was another moment captured where I felt out of place and stuck because of my shyness. What that my plan? Letting my insecurity being in the way of me living and experience life?Not at all.But how was I going to move past this?This is a candid picture of me, feeling confused and stuck in time because I couldn’t even muster the courage to walk up to someone and say hi.I felt like time was running out and I was letting life pass me by.Until little by little, something shifted in me and how I approached social interactions.This is a picture of me at 20 (on the right)I was talking with, joking around and welcoming other hundreds of international students to our University and campus with fun activities and games.That shy person, I used to be associated with, wasn’t there anymore. Like I was the most social and confident person ever. Which was total new.What changed?I learned and mean REALLY learned this one mindset which helped me.And it’s this.NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME, NOR IS SOMEONE THINKING ABOUT ME.What.Yes that’s it. When I am walking into a room of new people, in a classroom, on the streets or at a party…People are so busy thinking and being worried about themselves, that I am just a dot in their universe. And so, more or less my shyness and worry melted away with this realization more and more.Every time I went to an event and let’s say I yelled out “hey, what’s going on!!!” and played some music. No one cared. Someone might have looked but then just went back to what they were doing.Just try it. Go say Hi to someone randomly and then walk away. The worst thing that happens is, they’ll think you are little weird. But then, they won’t remember you.And that’s a freeing message.Get started today, you will be glad you did.
I've been socially isolated for so long that I don't know how to interact with humans anymore. What should I do?
Well, therapy is not a bad idea. What you are asking by therapy, is called “Talking Therapy” now. Now, there are options, and different types of therapy to acquire, or be provided to those in need. There is ‘behavioral therapy,’ ‘cognitive behavioral therapy,’ ‘talking therapy,’ and once therapist psychiatrist that I know, does ‘walking therapy,’ similar to talking therapy, yet walking with patients and discussing matters with patients while walking in talking therapy sessions, split with office sessions.I would also advise you that you may not need therapy. You will find that people are extremely odd. There is no real normal person. I had a business associate of mine that had only one friend really, and many business associates, yet myself and him are friends these days. He called my his therapist for years, as I would just listen to him talk about issues and problems that he had, yet I had no real training, yet have acquired knowledge over years. This person went thru all of college with many connections, active sexual relationship and dating relationships as any other college type, but yet, with only one true friend made in those years.Friends and associates, and acquaintances, and schoolmates are all different roles, and social settings of people. Therapy helps to process the difficulties that these things naturally create, or to resolve the social isolation desires, if you desire to.