Grandmother hates her grandson?
I feel very sorry for this child,he has not been raised with any love or descipline and does not know how to be respectful toward others because he was never taught how.I also feel bad for you and your husband because now you have been given a difficult job,you have to replace what he has been subjected to with what he needs to learn,and that would be a strain on any relationship where you have no support from anyone in the family, Get this child into therapy before things get worse.there is help for him.As far as the mother in law goes,once you done something to help this child, talk to your husband about how you feel she treats you,and tell him that because you respect his relationship with his mother you have remained silent,now you want to sit down with her and get this all out in the open and you are hoping he will be supportive.You are in no way trying to change his bond with her,your trying to make things less awkward for everyone concerned, and reduce the stress it is putting on your marriage.All the best.
WHAT?! manipulative grandma!?
Amongst other things, I just learned that my childs grandma is teaching him lies! Telling him that she is the only one that loves him, not even mom and dad love you? Why? Also saying that mom and dad hate each other! We have been happily married for years and she has no reason to say/think this! For some reason my child had a hard time realizing that this isn't true (preschool age). Have to explain that no one loves you more than your parents. Why is she doing this? Why would a grandmother lie to her grandchild and of all things to tell a child his parents don't love him!?
Have you ever held a grudge against your mother and permanently stopped talking to her? If so, why?
Yes. My mother was a product of great deep family secrets in which she was raised in India:Pakistan. She came to UK in the 60s with my father. My mother was simply a tyrant who was deeply physically abusive. Controlling. Aggressive. And generally unpleasant. She had a frightening air of authority and always warned you not to look at her or answer her back in your defence. So you were greatly punished by her trial based on her reasoning and truth. She is a Muslim and raised by her Imam father and grandfather. Neither of who have good reputations. Both were monsters. My mother described her life as s child as never questioning her parents authority. She demanded the same.My eldest sister left Home when I was 12. This was not the norm in Pakistani Islamic culture, even in the U.K. in the 80s. As a result my mother forced all of us to agree to our marriages when I was 12 yrs old. This is how controlling she is.Thru many events we all left home and I never spoke to her again from 1984.Then in 2017 we end up in the same hospital and began a relationship. It was over a few months ago. When I became sick of her strangling me with her demands of calling her daily on her fixed time. Answering her about my day and every response was criticism. Demanding that I marry a Muslim man. Demands demands demands. Even insisting I call her daily whilst on Hoilday and telling me how to think and live my life.So I have no intention of ever speaking to her again.
My older sister hates me?
Well, she sounds a selfish little b....... But you have rather pandered to her every whim, haven't you? People who use others as she does never appreciate what is done for them, rather they come to despise the person who allows herself to be treated like a doormat. There are two reasons for this. First, in being so generous to her, you have unwittingly given the impression that you haven't any opinions or personality of your own - you're just there to jump when she tells you. Second, in her heart of hearts, your sister knows perfectly well she's treated you despicably, and your mere presence is a constant reminder to her of her own appalling behaviour. So naturally, she resents you, even as she's begging for yet another loan, or favour. Nobody likes a reminder of their own shortcomings. That's not your fault, of course, nor is it your problem. But your willingness to be her doormat IS your problem. You seem to have done it in the hope that it will help bring your relationship closer, to improve it and make it more harmonious and enjoyable. But this clearly doesn't work, so maybe you'd better rethink your strategy. For whatever reason, it doesn't seem likely your sister is going to bond with you at least for the foreseeable future, so stop helping her out, picking up after her, live your own life, see your own friends, people who treat you decently and whose company you can enjoy. Next time your sister tells you she needs something, be too busy to do it, tell her you can't give her any more money and you won't take the blame for her any more. You've nothing to lose, have you? She'll be mad at you, of course, but she treats you like dirt as it is, so why bother to try placating her any more. It doesn't work. So she'll rant and rave and call you names - big deal. Be a grown up, let her rant and keep quiet. She'll end up looking like a 5 year old having a tantrum, and you'll feel more in control and more independent than you've done for years. Best of luck wimsey
Is it okay to withhold grandchildren from their grandparents when there is an argument between the parent and the grandparent?
The relationship between child and grandparent is very important and should be viewed on its own merits. Never involve children in disputes that has nothing to do with them and never pass on negative views the parent may have about the grandparent or vice versa to the child. That child should be able to love and respect all his family members and judge that relationship totally between the two of them. If the grandparent and child love and have bonded with each other don’t use the child as pawn to manipulate the parent. I am including a link to some great articles about healthy conflict resolution in families and hope you find support in them and can find peace with your parentConflict ResolutionAlso a link that is a good article and the roles and importance for both your child and the grandparent in sharing life togetherThe Many Roles of GrandparentsWith holding a child from their grandparent is always wrong unless that grandparent has shown themselves to be abusive or mentally or physically place the child at risk and even then I believe it important to find a way to keep a grandparent in the child’s life even if visits need to be short and supervised. Your relationship with the parent due to an argument should not include punishing the child from losing a grandparent they love, doing so is more often using the child to punish the parent and it punishes your child unfairly when his/her relationship is totally different than your own. Having had personal experience with this believe me the children suffer as do the grandparents unfairly and the children grow up with a vacuum in their family history that can be painful in their adult lives as well. So I pray you will resolve this conflict with your parent, but until then if your child and grandparent have a healthy loving relationship I pray you will not interfere with that for both their sake.
How do I make my husband see my mother-in-law's true personality?
This sounds real crazy. I wouldnt offer any advice but I d tell you what i would do to protect my dignity.Start working. However small or big the salary is join something. This will give you a direction to be independant & to divert your mind away. Remember, this might create more problems for you from your MIL but this would help stand on your legs when there is no hopeIgnore your MIL. I repeat. Dont let her get you. Your feelings thoughts and emotions are internal to you. Dont let external factors affect you. Start meditatingIf your husband is a nice guy. Start loving him without any expectations. He will slowly love you back and without asking he would start shielding you. ( unfortuantely this would take time and high level of patience from you)Tell your friends about the situation and be ready for emergency help. With a single message or call.Dont be alone. Learn some hobby and entertain yourself. This is one way you can make her jealous. Negative people wont like if someone is content and happy before themLive for yourself. Find the ultimate happiness in spreading joy in whatever way you likeDont worry about others. If they are listening to a third person and forming opinions about you they are not worth knowing you. Just keep going the way you naturally are and slowly they’ll come around.I have a feeling that your husband is already aware of his Mother’s attitude. Thats the only reason he is giving deaf ear. Otherwise he would equally get curious to know whats going wrong.A friend of mine has come out of an unhealthy relationship and she constantly inspires me with her fervour(by making a choice at age of 24 to file a divorce) courage and compassion(does volunteering at orphanages and animal welfare). She tells me Hardships are given to people who have the courage to withstand them and emerge as winners. She is grateful for this life and its virtuesShe was and is a winner to me. Never let anyone tell you what you are and what you arent capable of. Believe u are a self sustaining power. Trust your instincts. If your husband doesnt cater for your safety happiness and trust i dont see a future there.Lots of prayers and courage to you. Please let me know if you want someone to talk to & unload burden.
Does anyone else think taylor swift is a total fake?
Okay firstly, she has not dated all of Hollywood. Look at her Wikipedia, since 2008 she has dated Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor Kennedy and Harry Styles. That is six in five years, many people have way more than that. And she doesn't blame only them, listen to her song Back to December, she admits she ****** up. Okay, so now that it is clear that I am a fan, I have to say that I kind of agree. I love her music and all, and I don't think she's a slut or anything, but I don't think she's all innocent. I think she is one of those typical young girls who just likes having boyfriends and maybe asks a lot of him. Not sure manipulative is the right word, but I agree with not innocent and sweet. She seems sexual lately, her true side coming out?