How to treat a live in maid?
In our home, we have a staff of help and always have, even when I was a child. Our help refers to our daughter as Miss Jane and myself as Ms. Lara and my husband as Mr. _. We call our housekeeper by her first name, along with all other help, as does my daughter. My daughter picks up after herself when it comes to toys and books, but dishes are to be left for the help. If we get ourselves a snack, we clean up after ourselves, but otherwise the help does the cleaning, tidying, laundry, cooking, etc. It is not appropriate for the help to be cleaning while you are in the room and your maid should know this etiquette. She should also never dismiss you from the room and if you find her cleaning while you are in the room, it is completely proper for you to tell her to finish later. It is best for new maids to give them specific, strict instructions so the future will be smooth for the both of you. If she will be in contact with your daughter, give the maid plenty of description as to what your daughter is like, etc. It is not uncommon to have to show a maid exactly how you like things to be done in the beginning, so before she starts work, I would have her to your home and show you how she will be doing things so you have the opportunity to correct anything you do not like. Best of luck. I forget to address your concern regarding uniforms. To wear a uniform is the proper way for the help, but maid attire is not what it used to be - I know most without help are thinking black dresses with white aprons. I find pressed, khaki slacks and a crisp white or black button down is best and for dirtier jobs an apron should be fine.
Does anyone else get treated more like the maid than wife?
What women don't know but they should know is most men would gladly do whatever the hell they want, simply for no better reason than to make them happy. That's assuming your man is a normal person with actual care and empathy for others. If your man doesn't have that, then you choose poorly when you married him and should focus on not making the same mistake next time. Most people though, it basically boils down to this pattern. Figure out what specifically you want from him. Then ask him to do that every time you want that behavior from him. Reward him for by being grateful. It's very tough for women to get this right. You need to be specific and you need to be behavior oriented. Wrong: You never appreciate me. You treat me like a slave. I want you to treat me like a wife. Man scratches his head and considers bringing his wife to a therapist. Right: I don't like being the only one who does housework. Come help me clean the bathroom so I feel like we do things like this together. Give me a kiss first and tell me you love me. Thanks honey, I can always count on you to make me feel better. Individually, these instances don't seem like much. But they build on each other and gain momentum over time. They constantly redirect you and him to what is important....the love and caring part of your marriage. Again, this is tough for most women. It requires careful thought and introspection about what is it you want, specifically. Basically, you need to constantly ask yourself....what is it I want him to be doing right now, specifically, at this moment that he is not doing. Then, ask him to do that. Then say thank you. If you are really good, you start having him do the same thing with you.
What should a mother do if one of her sons treats her like a maid and abuses her as well?
Do what needs to be done to stop allowing this behavior to continue. If you do it will continue and grow worse throughout his adult life. Like Dr. Phil says often “We teach people how to treat us” And this is so true if you accept this from him now you are going to be accepting it forever and he will also treat others in the same way.I raised 4 son’s and due to my youth, and not having a good male role model in their lives and having to raise them alone I allowed behaviors when they were younger due to my own ignorance or too tired most of the time to deal with it and it was a huge mistake.Depending on his age sit down at a quiet time and let him know what behaviors you find unacceptable and what the consequences will be if he exhibits these behaviors toward you and be consistent. If it is unacceptable one time it needs to be unacceptable every time and discipline resulting.Absolutely never accept any form of abuse, verbal or physical. The consequences for this should be immediate and certain. Many things as a teenager my youngest son said to me I did not react as I should have and now as a 40 year old adult his verbal abuse is something he often does to me and his marriage has come to an end because of this type of abuse.For your sake and that of his future it is important to take a strong stand on any kind of abuse, even if that means you have to get professional support to do so. I am enclosing a link also to a good article that as parents we often do not consider and can be a helpful tool in teaching our children respectful behavior toward us and others. Are You Kind to Your Kids?My thoughts and prayers are with you as I have traveled this road and you mus value yourself enough not to allow anyone to abuse you. God loves you and your children need to know that you expect respect and will not accept less from them. Also model respect toward them and others is most important in teaching children to respect you and others.
Why does my friend treat me like I am the personal slave?
First of all, I am sorry you feel like that towards your friend. People sometimes can hurt us really bad with their behaviour even when they are close to us. Second, this may come as a surprise to you but we actually have some degree of control in the way others treat us. By behaving a certain way, we teach others how to behave with us. For example, if I am projecting an image of insecurity, behaving like I am not certain of my actions, always asking others what to do in certain situations, i will teach others that I am not capable of handling the situations by myself and I will be teaching orhers to be protective of me. In the same way, if I have difficulties in saying “no” to our friends and I tend to comply to everything they ask for fear they will stop appreciating me, I will teach them that I have no boundaries and they can treat me how they want. Does it make sense? This is not to say you are to blame because your friend shouldn't act like that, but you do have some control over your behaviour and you do have the right to say no! Contrary to what you may believe, if they are really your friends, they will not stop being your friends just because you set boundaries. They may become upset first, but then they will respect you. If this doesn't happen, take it as a learning lesson about who are your true friends and start searching for new ones. The base of friendship is respect. Respect yourself, then you will atract people that respect you. If you have difficulties about doing this, please ask for help from a psychologist or other therapist/counsellor. They will be able to help you.I hope this made sense and I hope I helped you in some way.Pedro
My dad treats me like a maid and I don't know what to do?
I'm 20, in college, and still living with my dad (which might be pathetic considering that most people move out at that age), and I know that I should be thankful for having shelter, food, and whatnot, but I can't really take it anymore. He constantly tells me to clean this and clean that, always nags to me over the littlest of things, and NEVER helps out around the house himself. Whenever he eats or cooks something, he leaves the boxes and the dishes that he cooked the food in lying around the counter instead of washing them and throwing them away himself and when I DO tell him that he should wash them since he dirtied them himself, he gives me some sort of death look like he wants to knock me out or something. He even threatens me when I TRY to stand up for myself and once physically threw me against a wall on my birthday since I was a little upset with him for not at least trying to celebrate it and he claimed I wasn't thankful for having a roof over my head and food and whatnot. There actually WERE days when I thought about moving out and I even have close friends here of my dad's that's like a second family to me. I even thought about asking them if I can move in with them since I feel more at home with them than where I am now, but I doubt they would take me in. I even thought about moving out somewhere else too, but considering my job and how I'm not really making that much to afford anything, I doubt that I can since the rent for any place around here is too expensive for my taste, and I'm not fond of college dorms. I don't even have a car to get around anywhere and the bus that we have only comes around every once and a while! My friends from school are all out in their own, but that's because they have a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend to help them out and I don't.
My sister treats me like her slave?
im 12 and i have one sister one little brother my sister is 16 and she bullies me these are the things she does to me: 1.she stole the master bedroom from me she makes me bring food to her room and make me serves it she makes me clean her messy room i go SHOPPING with her and i hold her heavy SHOPPING bags when she wants to take a bath she makes me sets up the bath room for her i fill he hot tub i bring her towels i bring fruit for her to eat in thee bath room and i have to stay there and help her its gross i even have to do her nails when she comes from school she is tired so she sits in her chair and calls my name so i can give her a massage i even have to massage her stinky feet one time i said no she made me lick her feet when she goes to the washroom she dosent flush she poops i have too clean the toilet bowl and when she is on her period she chanes her pad\tampon she drops it on the floor and i have to pick it up she makes where bloody when her friends come over i have to do their stuff too and times i dont listen to her she says she will tell me my mom i have a boy friend and she hits me i have to wipe off her make up and she takes my alowense she bought a pager and she puted in my room so when every she needs any thing i have to come any serve her i am her pet her maid her slave and i have to call her miss she bought me a maid out fit please help me this is torchur
Who was the strictest teacher you ever had?
None of my school teachers were that strict. And even if they were, I never really had that huge of a problem with them since I had always been a bit nerdy, so was amongst their favourites.But there was this one tuition teacher I had that was straight out MAD. And lemme tell you why.So this teacher was giving tuitions to my sister and the last few days of the month were up when my sister told my mom she didn't want to go. My mom tried to make her go, but she was just to stubborn on it. So, just to not waste the money, cuz obviously Asian parents, she sent me instead and told the lady to teach me my alphabets. 4 year me was so excited, little did I know what was about to come.The lady told me to learn my alphabets(had to read them out loudly) while she was going on a walk. Then she left. While she was gone her maid was watching these Indian serials that I really loved. So obviously, I didn't have any self discipline and sat and watched with her.Well, when the lady came back her maid snitched on me and oh my God, that lady just went so red with anger I thought she might burst. She shouted at me at the top of her lungs, and hit me like, alot.When my mom came to pick me up, I was still crying and I told her how she treated me. Regardless to say, my mom never put any of us in the same tution again.
Why should I respect my parents? They don’t even treat me like their child. They treat me like I’m their worker/maid.
I know it sounds like bullshit right now, but they might want to give you life lesson by doing so. They try to show you how the world out there really works.Say you are an adult now, you move out from your parents house and be independent, so you work to make sure that you can cover your own basic needs (food, shelter, clothes, —also transport, electricity and wifi perhaps)…guess what will happen next? Someone else treat you like their worker/maid. They expect you to work hard. Rings a bell?How your parents treat you right now might just be a simulation to prepare you for what awaits you down the road.Imagine if you are clueless about house work, for instance, cannot wash your own clothes, clean your own den and cook your own meal…you will end up spending your last cent to buy $10 food that will cost you $2 to make, and spend your remaining dollars for maid, drycleaners, etc. You can save a lot of money by doing these on your own. It will be more disasterous if you dont know how to cook and cannot afford to buy food because your employer fired you because you cant keep up with (hard) work. Imagine that.By being your parents’ maid now, you become used to hard work and perseverance. Hence, when it is time for you to do your actual work, you will be able to advance faster because you are used to hard work already.Now, all these happen because your parents treat you like their worker/maid. They train you. I think for that alone, you should respect them. You cant see the future, but perhaps they can.
My sister treats me like her slave?
I'm 15, and my sister is 23, and she's constantly treating me like her slave. Almost daily, she's too lazy to do most things she can clearly do herself. She'll call me into her room and ask me to do something for her. This has been going on almost my entire life. And I realized the more I refuse, the more "asking" turns into "demanding" and if I refuse enough, she'll turn into a crybaby and say, "Okay, fine. See what happens next time you ask me for something." Or she'll ground me. And my Mom (the head honcho in my household) is okay with it. The funny thing is,I never ask her to do anything for me. And on the rare occasions that I do, she always, always says no. I always talk to my dad about it and I vent to him but I usually get things like, "Well then tell her off." But what I want him to do is to tell her that what she's doing isn't right. Also... she tends to ignore some of the things that my parents say. Like one day, I was grounded from using the hair straightener. (Cause my grades were bad.) And my Dad AND my Mom said, "Hey. We talked it over, and said it's okay for you to use the hair straightener." (she also took away my computer, my iPod and my phone besides the hair straightener.) I was doing my hair for school and I explained our parents were okay with it. She didn't care what they said and still cut me off from using her hair straightener, mine, and my Mom's. And lately, she's started hitting me again when I do something wrong. Both my parents won't talk to her no matter what I say, and I feel like I'm in a rut of depression from her treating me this way. It's insanely irritating what she does to me and I don't know where else to turn. Please help.
Do you think some parents treat there kids like maids?
its like being a slave. You need to learn to suck it up even though you may feel your being taken advantage of. This is what I do. Everything told of me to do (because I'm never asked) I do it as if I'm doing it for God. I want him to se my heart and he will reward you for dealing with your adversity with kindness. Everything your doing, you are storing your rewards in heaven. and dont get upset (which is very easy to do) and start cursing under your breath. Its hard but what your doing is preparing yourself for the real world in your future. Life isnt all fun and games. I hope your at least being thanked and shown some appreciation for your labors. I never got a thank you and was never shown appreciation. I had to suck it up. I think its part of paying your dues. Good luck and try to have a good attitude for your own sake. Dont become bitter. Remember, whatever is in the heart overflows into speech.