Why does my mother's presence make me so stressed and agitated?
I see you have had a rough childhood, but I have seen this dynamic, even when people have a good childhood, with decent parents. My sister loathes my mom’s every move. My mom is a happy, friendly, helpful, kind person. My sister interprets these personality traits as stupid, unmannered, meddling, needy, and weak. She thinks my mom is not polished, nor professional. My sister would like to control what my mom can do and who my mom can be friendly with. To my sister, being aloof and reserved is how you act if you are smart and professional.To be fair, my mom can also push my buttons sometimes. She is somewhat loud when she enters my house and seems to need immediate attention. She quiets down after a while. One thing she does that directly irritates me is groom me - like if we are out and my shirt has a hair on it or a thread or my collar is crooked, she just cannot keep herself from adjusting my personal appearance. It feels like criticism of the way I look. It is probably her own OCD like behavior.I suspect that in trying to define our own selves who are separate from our mothers, we try to move away from the things that we don’t like about them. Who wants to be “just like their mother”? Almost no one. The irony is that most of us do share so many traits with our mother - myself included. That is a source of irritation. That trait or mannerism my mom has (that I wish I didn’t also have and am pretending I don’t) surely is irritating. It is easier to criticize our mom than to recognize it in ourselves.Another thing to consider is that children sometimes feel the most safe expressing anger toward parents who they know will love them anyway.I guess I wanted to let you know that lots of people feel the same way about their mothers and that it might not be only related to your difficult childhood.
Does writing help you cope with stress, depression, anxiety, or anger?
i saw this question and laughed. it's funny you should ask because i always do my best when i am stressed, depressed, anxious and angry. i have bipolar disorder and i wrote a full length play in 12 hours during a manic phase last fall. i didn't think much of it, but a teacher encouraged me to enter it into a national contest. i didn't think i'd place, but i won the gold key for the scholastic arts and writing award. the same award that robert reford, slyvia plath and others won at my age. i feel that the surge of emotion is best to be caught through language. it's a positive release, better than cutting or hitting or self-starvation and drinking. it's a mechanism that brings me joy and helps so much. i too am an over analyzer, but sitting down and pounding out poems, stories, plays and even answers on this site, help so much. that's why i hate being numb. because i can't bring myself to write. and i love to write. it's a crazy conundrum, but i identify with the way writing helps you. music is the icing on the cake. my current playlist, the by the way album by the red hot chili peppers. love them.
Can Anger and Stress cause Health Problem?
Yeah therapy can help, definitely consider it. But.. hey, you should really think about who you are. I mean something happened to you to piss you off so much in your childhood. Maybe it was your parents.. maybe it was your friends... but someone hurt you so bad that you feel you need to hurt others. Just find out what it is that hurt you so bad that you feel the need to hurt other people. That's the key to ridding yourself of this anger. Anger is simply Fear announced. Meaning something inside of you you are scared of to death, you are annoucing it loud and clear as you become agressive. So instead of going around shouting your fear.. why not just get rid of it? Most definitely stress has an impact on health. A very serious one.. its not a myth but a very much confirmed scientific fact. The body when put under extended periods of stress will begin to break down. Your heart can only take so much... your mind can only take so much. Just like any machine... if you work it too hard, it's going to break. I'm not saying your going to break any time soon.. but stress will take its toll on you eventually. It will take a toll on how you look on the inside and the outside. It's not worth it to stress over any problem. Think about it this way. You stress about school / tests , grades, futures. But do you need to do any of it? I know you are saying.. YES I need to do these things. But who do you need to do them for? For teachers, parents..? I mean what good is it to do these things for other people. You should be doing them for yourself. I know it's hard to realize this now.. but later on you will see that. If your parents are stressing you out about your grades then you need to let them know that it is hurting you. You need to let others know it. What good does it having someone yell in your ear "Do your homework!". Never did me any good. In fact, I think it made me procrastinate on it even further. You have to let people know that you are tired of being hurt, and you really need their support. It's hard to speak up and be the adult, when adults act like children and yell at you for stupid reasons. Sometimes you just need to take a break and get away instead of getting angry yourself. If you beat someone over the head, they are only going to turn around and beat you back. Violence is a vicious cycle. It's one thing to do it as a sport, it's another to incorporate it into your everyday life. Just remember.. anger, is fear announced.
Why does my girlfriend always vent her anger at me even though I'm not causing her anger?
Because you taught her to do that to you.‘’We teach people how to treat us’’You danced to her needs and allowed her to walk away every time she caused drama without consequences, so now she is feeling comfortable putting you down and keeping you responsible for everything while she enjoys bringing herself up.That’s how things function on life, you allow someone to surpass your boundaries once they will do it countless of times, that’s why you need to teach the people that you love how to behave.Wish you peace in this situation.
My brother is stressing me out so much?
I can't even put in words how much the kid depresses me.. to the extent were I just want to die. If I had to describe him in ONE word it would be SLOB. he doesn't do anything but mess up the house and eat all of the food. I've told him 1000 million times to put up the toilet seat when he goes to the toilet but he refueses to, he pee's all over the seat and you have no idea what its like cleaning up somebody else's pee. he never ever even flushes the toilet, when he goes in there for even a second theres toilet roll, his clothes and towels on the floor and he leaves the bathroom light on! and WORST OF ALL he has NEVER ever washed his hands after the toilet. his too lazy to do anything. whenever I tell my mom and dad to tell him off they won't for some reason, especially my mom.. she's turned him into a monster. I mean when he takes a dump he doesn't flush the toilet (SO GROSS!) or wash his hands. when he walks past me you don't even understand how bad the smell is, he smells like hair grease and poop. he constantly talks to himself really loud all day and his room is right next to me so I hear him speaking 24/7 about him being gay or something. whenever I'm nice to him he calls me names and acts really weird to see how far he can push me just so that my mom will tell me off he always gets his own way. he actually gets mcdonalds EVERYDAY, if he asks for it my mom feels like she just can't say no. and if you even possibly knew how much food he ate you would be SHOCKED. his only 11 and he has about 8 slices of toast a day, 3 bowls of cereal, 7 packets of potato chips (and stuffs the packet under the sofa pillows) and he gets fast food EVERYDAY. his fat as hell! whenever we watch TV he always say about dudes "I wish he was my boyfriend" or "I love boys with that hair, it's so hot!" hopefully his not gay and it might just be a phase. Put it this way, I feel like if he were never born my life would be much happier PLEASE HELP ME OUT. Whenever I see him I want to stab him. I wish it was just me, my sister and my parents again. His made me sooooo depressed that I'm on tablets, All I do all day is clean up after him. and people wonder why I ONLY want daughters! I'm 16 so I can't move out for another 2 years.. but I can't take another day of him. (((His much worse than I described but it was getting tooo long so I had to stop)))
My life at home stresses me out sometimes. My mom is depressed and anxious, and my dad bottles up his intense anger. What can I do?
You haven’t mentioned your age, which of course is a big determinant of your options in your home situation. I’m going to guess that you’re a teenager still in high school or middle school, and thus do not have the option of moving away from your family home. If you have siblings, they may be your most important support system in your family. I hope you will be supportive to any younger siblings you may have, as this situation will seem even more worrisome to them. Look around at other people in your life. Do you have close friends you can talk to, or a parent of a friend who will be supportive and understanding? Your family’s religious leader may be helpful as well, not just to you but also to your parents. Also, many schools now offer more comprehensive counseling to students beyond just helping you decide which colleges to apply to; there may be resources for assistance there. The developmental task of an adolescent is to begin to differentiate yourself as an independent individual apart from your parents and family. You can look at the way your parents live and decide that you won’t live your own life that way. Look to the future and start taking steps to be the person you want to be. Good luck!
How can I stop getting so angry and stressed from my Aunt?
I live with my Aunt because my parents both passed away. She's a fine woman and all, nice. But every once in awhile, she does these little things that piss me off and stress me out. And she's completely oblivious. For example. Last night she was leaving to go to her sons cause he was sick and I asked how long she would be gone and she yelled at me and said "I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?! I'm sick freaking tired of helping everyone and no one ever cares about me, or helps me, or pays attention to me. It's all about you you you, them them them, everyone else!" First things first, people do pay attention to her and do things for her. When her son was in the hospital from an accident I got up on Labor Day, at 7 in the morning, to make her breakfast because I knew she was having a rough time. When she asked for a new crock pot for Christmas, I spent hours looking for the perfect one for her. When her birthday came around and she said she didn't want anything, I spent fifty dollars on her anyways. And that isn't even half of it. She's self absorbed and doesn't appriciate anything anyone does for her and then she'll flip out and yell and my brother and me for no reason. Heres more: Today, I've been ignoring her. I didn't want to speak to her or even see her after the way she treated my brother and me last night when we asked a simple question. She is acting as if nothing happened. So when she noticed I was ignoring her she got annoyed with me, "I don't know why you're mad at me but I don't want to have anything to do with you today if you are going to act this way." The only thing I did was ignore her, and wait for an apology. But of course she turns it all around and makes me the bad guy. These things happen all the time. She's messing with my mind and I honestly feel mentally abuses. I get stressed out to the point were I break out. It makes me angry to the point were I just want to punch a wall in. I can't stop her from acting the way she is, but can you help me figure out a way to not let her get to me? I'm tired of spending countless nights laying awake thinking about the things she has said and done to me throughout the day. Please help me, before I rip my hair out and run away.
Is this post traumatic stress disorder related rage ? and how do i deal with it?
just to say ive had a very hard life, throughout my life, with no let up , suffered bullying, being victimized , mental abuse all through out my life , iam now 31 and have missed out on everything in life : building relationships , being employed, getting qualifications etc - just even the basic. ive lived alone for 5 years, was diagnosed as borderline personality 3 years back - my psychiatrist also accepted i suffer from post traumatic stress symptoms to. many years ago i used to explode witth rage and aggression in public places countless times - a loss of conduct, i would set out to go out, whilst out stress, paranoia , racing thoughts, extreme anxiety would build up, feel jealous and frustrated at happy people , think that people were singling me out - feel threatened by other men looking at me ------ then i would just explode , knock people over , lash out , clench my teeth, like lose control over all bodily conduct ----- through it , i was attacked by strangers, cautioned by police etc ---------------ive been very lucky. the rage comes from i feel bottled up anger through being continuously victimised in life and psychologically abused ---- ive managed it well for years and been seeking help, i have amazing insight etc. now im not racist ( im multiracial hispanic myself ) ---- but in the past, years ago, i went through a time where i was picked on a lot by black people , lived in a black area, suffered street confrontations, threats , being accosted . today even though i control the rage and aggression well and the aloof angry demeanor - if im in a situation like in a store, and there are some black african store workers near by, or they look at me , the anxiety and palpatations become unbearable --- i feel threatened and intimidated , like their conspiring something ----feel threatened like their singling me out - then before i know it my rage is flaring inside and i feel like im gonna blow , start a confrontation and it is a real struggle to fight the ' rage abandon ' --- i start to disocociate --- space out but i manage to keep in control, because i WORK HARD to. i do it, i stay in control, do very well, try to breathe , focus on something else and leave the situation. -- where as i used to lose it completley. but i want to know , does that specific symptom sound like it is post traumatic stress related ?? and how do i fully deal with it ?