Why do people enjoy scaring others and children?
Sadism? I think that is a power thing.
How did your parents discipline you as a child?
I know as a child when I did something really bad my dad would scare me by taking off his belt, but he never actually hit me....I think this was an effective means of discipline.......please share a story
Have you ever been scared of your own child?
Since no one has mentioned it yet, I’ll bring up night terrors.For those lucky enough to have never witnessed a night terror, it is basically when your child appears wide awake and absolutely insane. They look at you but they are in the grips of a nightmare. They can run and fight but can’t wake up.My oldest had them. When he was little, I could hold him down. It was heartbreaking to hear him cry for mommy to save him from the monsters holding him down, but I wasn’t actually frightened. He would lash out, but some part of his brain must have known it was me because he never hit his hardest.These went on until he was 10. Toward the end, I couldn’t restrain him any longer. And he’d swear and try to escape. Screaming, he’d run through the house, crashing into furniture he couldn’t see. He’d yell for help and shove me aside and finally ball up and scream deep, primal screams.It could last 30 mins or so before he’d start to calm. His screams would become less frequent. Eventually he’d recognize me and let me lead him back to bed. He’d go peacefully to sleep and I’d take an hour to get my adrenaline under control, of course.I was scared in those blind moments. Scared he’d get a weapon or run outside or rip out my eyeball. Worst I ever got was a welt or two and then he outgrew it, thank goodness!
Is it good to scare children for fun?
The very posing of this question leads me to believe you're asking about the type of scare that results in those knee-jerk, fight-or-flight reactions we've all experienced when startled. The answer is NO, IT's NOT O-FRICKIN' KAY. Scaring children of toddler age is traumatizing when it goes past peek-a-boo. Scaring older children teaches them sadistic habits. I. Don't. Like. It.
Why are kids more scared of their dads than their moms?
Is that how it is for most people? I guess I just can’t relate; my father had always been very affectionate, calm, never raised his voice at me or hit me. I never disrespected him deliberately and rarely argued against anything he said in the first place, but it wasn’t out of fear that he would become angry. More so that I would end up hurting his feelings, if anything. My biological mother was the opposite. She was a terrifying person, and as a child I would sometimes hide in my closet dreading that she would find me. Disobeying anything she told me to do resulted in some kind of horrible, unjustifiable punishmentBut I’ve also known a lot of other families where the mothers were the disciplinarians and the dads were more the permissive, “go ask you mother” types. I think it really depends on the family. There’s kind of a stereotype about the over-bearing, controlling father who beats his kids with belts if they come home a minute after curfew, and I’m sure this type of person exists. But I don’t know that it’s generalizable
My 3 year old toddler is scared in his own house. He refuses to go anywhere by himself. How can I fix this?
The best possible way I know of is to give him 100% support, but do not coddle him. If he comes to you for hugs, give them. He’s paying attention to your reaction to various situations, so never overreact. Don’t make a big deal out of anything. If he’s hurt, treat it matter-of-factly. “There, that’s not so bad. You’ll be fine.” If he falls down, or something happens, there will be a split second where he will look right at you before reacting. When that happens, meet his gaze, then smile! Say ‘ooops!’ and laugh a little. Chances are, unless it’s some serious pain, he will laugh with you instead of crying. Don’t rush to his side to see if he’s okay as soon as something happens, or make distressed faces.If he has toys that he particularly likes and will ask for, put them in another room, and sit down. When he asks for them, simply tell him that he can go and get them if he wants them - it’s no big deal, and you’re sure he’s big enough to go and get them. But it’s okay if he doesn’t want to. He’ll just have to wait until later, then. Again, do not make a big deal over it.He’ll decide how courageous he is. I guarantee that eventually, he will go get the toy himself. There’s nothing terribly abnormal about a 3 year old not wanting to be alone. Some children are naturally more adventurous than others.A lot of people try exactly the wrong thing to make their child more confident - they force the child to be alone, or to be in situations that make the child uncomfortable. A child’s psychology is NOT like an adults. This pushing does not make a child stronger - it makes them weaker and more timid. It induces anxiety, because they don’t trust that their parent will be there when they want and need them. It can be incredibly traumatizing.Always be there, and don’t push. Your child will then feel secure - that they can really count on you to be there for them if there is trouble. Then they’ll free free to begin to explore further and further away from you, always using you as a home base to return to.