Only thing keeping me alive is the pain it would cause my mom... anyone else out there?
The only thing that kept me alive was my children. It was bad for a while. depression sucks...but there is more to you than just your depression. It's hard to remember that when the depression seems to affect everything you do. When you are feeling especially desolate try this. Focus on something outside of yourself. Focus on something that has nothing to do with you or your present state of mind. It could be as simple as touching the sidewalk. I know it sounds lame but we tend to retreat more and more into our own minds as we try to self evaluate our circumstances. We forget to come back out of our own heads until all we are aware of is the depression. Get out of your own head for a while. Remember that nothing lasts forever....good or bad. It will get better. My aunt recently committed suicide and it is not pretty or peaceful....It is not a way to get relief....you can't appreciate the relief if you are decomposing somewhere. Suicide doesn't solve your problem...it only creates lifelong problems for those left behind. Continue to work with the docs.
Is there any point in living with a small penis?
I know people are tired of seeing these questions but I am asking everybody their opinions on the matter. Girls seem to find it laughable and guys all take the piss about it, but it's actually really hard to deal with and leads to sucidal tendencies. I kinda feel like comitting suicide because I love girls and what is their to live for if I end up alone and in emotional pain? I didn't ask for all these things to happen to me.
How did Nazi soldiers or SS forces feel about killing Jews in cold blood? Is there a personal account or study on those who were involved in killing victims in cold blood, making them dig their graves and shooting them in back of the head?
It’s well documented that many soldiers of the SS Einsatzgruppen had a hard time following orders to kill people. For those who are unaware, the SS Einsatzgruppen were mobile killing squads sent into occupied territory to kill the Jews and other non-Aryans. They were a precursor to the camps, and they were used before the camps were built.The SS moved away from mass executions for two reasons, it was time consuming and wasteful, secondly, many SS men refused to carry out orders. The men that did carry out the orders often required alcohol to get through with it. There aren't really any statistics for how many man refused on average, but it was significant enough to cause concern among the SS leadership. As Christopher Browning (author of the popular "Ordinary Men") put it, there were three types of SS men, those who had no issues carrying out the mass killings, those who had issues but used alcohol or other coping methods to carry them out anyways, and finally those who refused outright.In fact, the killings were so brutal and psychologically harming, that when Himmler went to his first and last mass execution, he became nervous after the first few volleys, and when the subjects wouldn’t die, he pleaded the Police Sergeant not to torture them.Himmler tried to address this problem by making commanders organise social events and other outreach programs to make the men feel better, yet they were largely ineffective. A local SS commander, Eirc Von Dem Bach, told him that the psyche of his men had hit an all time low, with them being deeply shaken and either neurotics or savages.If you didn’t take part in a mass killing, you could be punished, but it wouldn’t be too bad. You could return to Germany, take a reduction in pay, demotion, anything small like that.Now during the Belzec Trial, there were a few interesting stories that came out, many involving Commadant Christian Wirth. Wirth ruled with an iron fist and anyone who dissented was punished. There are multiple stories that came out of Belzec concentration camp. One is that an SS man refused to carry out an execution and Wirth pulled a pistol on him. Or another example, when SS Erich Fuchs was ordered by Wirth to fix shower heads in the newly erected gassing barracks, he questioned Wirth as to why there were showers with no water pipes, Wirth flew into a rage and beat Fuchs; he then ordered two SS guards to take him away and shoot him, they ended up taking Wirth with them.
Do you live in fear of anything?
Good Luck on kicking cancer in the *ss! Personally, I live in fear of living beyond the point of being useful to anyone, including myself. Being a useless burden to family, friends, and the world at large is not something I believe I could handle psychologically; it'd be worse than dying. Later Daze! =)
Would you rather live in China or live in Japan?
I would probably choose China because I find Chinese history, language, and culture a little bit more interesting than that of Japan. Some of the cons of living in China, however, would include the communist government and some of the most polluted cities on earth. While Japan is a democratic state (actually I think it's a parliamentary monarchy, but that's still the same general idea), and they are one of the most eco-friendly nations on earth, it is also very expensive to live in Japan, and the population density of this country is higher than anywhere else in the world, meaning that everywhere would be packed and my home would be small. Also, Japan is on the ring of fire, so there's an earthquake/volcano risk that many portions of China don't suffer from. So, clearly, there are pros and cons for both of these places, but I choose China.