Crying coworker - should I do anything?
I've been with a company for a few months. Now when I'm a full-timer I see more than I have. Our company is small (15 people) and I do not communicate directly with any of them other than saying Hi in the morning (I report directly to the owner and we get along pretty well). Yesterday one of my coworkers walked up to me and start talking. We talked for few minutes and then I asked her what's new. She starts crying and tells me that accounting lady is being mean to her, and tells me about all the things woman does to make her life miserable. She sounds reasonable. But like I said I do not know enough to tell if she is overreacting or not. I've never had to deal with that accounting lady. Today she walks to my desk again and tells me more about it (she is crying again). I feel like I need to do something about the situation, but have no idea what. Can you help me?
My boyfriend makes me feel uncomfortable what should i do?
im sorry its so long but plz read it i really need help we have been going out for about 3 weeks now and he just makes me feel uncomfortable. i first day of us going out he was saying i love you to me and touching and kissing all over me. i told him i wasn't ready and he said ok baby and then 5 mins later was kissing all over me again so i told him to stop and that it was making feel uncomfortable and he said he was sorry and kissed me on the forehead . he asked if i was mad at him or something and i said yea a lil and he said y what did i do? the next day he starts touching me and kissing me and saying i love u baby and all that and i started crying and he said what did i do now? whats wrong? i was starting to get sick of it and i told him i have been raped and sexual assulted and i just wasnt ready for him to be doing it all yet and he said im sorry baby i didnt know then he said i love you and i will never do anything to hurt you and you can trust me baby and i just shook my head no and he said yes and kissed me and told me he loved me. i talked to his best friend abt it i told him i was thinking about breaking up with him because he wouldnt back off and i told him i didnt want him saying anything to my bf bc i wanted to talk to him and tell him how i was feeling and he promised he wouldnt. the next day my bf totally avoided me we got on the bus and didnt sit with me and by then i was crying and i look over at his best friend and said y did u have to go and open ur mouth and he said i couldnt stand him doing that to you any longer. on the way back home my bf sat with me on the bus and just held my hand we didnt really talk but he didnt kiss me or say i love u or touch me so i was ok with just holding his hand. his bestfriend got on the bus and looked at me and said what are you doing and i just said im giving him another chance since you had to break my promise and he said ok since i broke ur promise im going to break his then he said ur boyfriends planing on braking up with u to go out with katie. i let go of his hand and started crying as he moved over closer to me and said i love you baby and started making out with me. i am so confused of wat to do i mean i do like him in all i just dont want to be without him and he knows i forgive ppl and dnt hold grudges and stuff so its hard bc i dnt stay mad at him what should i do?
Is this person obviously crying, as in sobbing at their desk and not trying to hold back. Then Tim Mansbridge's advice is quite good. Is this person a woman who is at her desk looking embarrassed and trying to suppress or hide her tears? Then please ignore her. This is not because I'm a bitch with no sympathy, but because I spent most of my 20s crying at work. A lot of women really struggle and find it hard to show appropriate anger, in fact many of us are told that there is no level of anger that is appropriate. If we are expressive individuals then when we should be getting angry we often cry. Our hormones don't make this any easier (specifically the monthly changes to these). We don't want to and we are aware that this is seen as emotionally manipulative but sometimes the more we try and stop the worse it gets. IMPORTANT: The very worse thing you can do to someone in this state is offer any sympathy or comfort whatsoever or this will make us cry more. Humour can sometimes work (someone once told me 'hayfever is a bugger isn't it' and I burst our laughing) but the best thing to do is be matter-of-fact and pretend you can't see her watery eyes. She is probably doing everything she can to pull herself together so this matter of fact approach will help calm her down and normalise things. Not all women are like this (crying all the time), but I know very few women who have never cried at work.
RELIGIOUS COWORKER help me please~?
In my opinion, the question here is not what is moral (as in, how do I not offend my coworker but retain my sanity?), the question is what is PROFESSIONAL- it is not just your sanity or sense of propriety at stake her but that of everyone who comes into and out of your shared space at work. Let your coworker cry, and when she gets control of herself again I recommend you explain to her that it is fine for her to have her Christianese paraphrenalia at her desk, but outside of her immediate desk/wall area is the gray area that is actually company property, to be occupied by you and everyone else who uses the area. The decoration of a shared space must respect all employees of the company. It isn't about your discomfort per se but about professionalism in an office. As a Christian who is supposedly living to honor Jesus Christ, professionalism and integrity are to be hallmarks of how we conduct ourselves at work. A final thought- please don't be intimidated by the "I don't know what I'll do if I have to take my stuff down.." argument. The world is not ending for her regardless of what she says or does, which you probably know already. This is not a big deal, it is best not to treat it as a big deal- this will maximize the chances that she gets over it and allows you two to get along again, because if you just quietly put your foot down about it then she has less of a mountain to climb in her mind in order to be comfortable with you again.
My manager made me cry in front of coworkers?
Well i'm an 18 year old boy, and i work at wendy's. i worked a 9 hour shift today, and i was very very upset by how people were treating me. I was getting sad by my coworker always calling me "hey" instead of my name. My manager always calls me by my first and last name which always upsets me. i was just getting more and more upset by the hour. I hate it when people put there hands on me inappropriately, and my managers always do that on my shoulders or back when talking to me, so that's another thing that made me more upset today. Sometimes i get very upset and emotional when i'm called by my last name, because everyone in highschool called me by my last name but they also picked on me soo much. They're very painful memories. I was humiliated today. My manager told me if i don't like her saying my last name, then i just have to tell her, then people were looking at me with my sad expression. When i got off work, my manager apologized and that just made me break out crying. I was hiding my face in the break room and others were feeling embarrased next to me. I had to walk out of there with everyone staring at my puffy face. I usually don't get that mad being called by my last name, so why did i just break out like that? I feel like i cried today for no good reason. Why do you think i did that?
Why my coworker always has bruises?
I work as a special education teacher assistant and the primary teacher in the classroom always comes to school with new bruises, mostly on his wrists and arms. He always says he loves to be outside but is also extremely clumsy and falls all of the time. I don't buy it. This man is not clumsy in the slightest. I don't know what's going on but he does have a girlfriend and I have a fishy feeling about her. I don't know what it is. Just a way she looks at him is gives me the creeps. I have a bad felling he is being abused, but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. What do I do?
How can I get a coworker to stop talking to me? Our boss is gone& he keeps coming up to my desk & bothering me
Try this... Whenever he approaches your desk. Stand up and stay standing while he speaks. You have some options at that point. Option # 1: when he takes a breath, say "thanks, I've got to get back to work now". Option #2: If he doesn't stop, start to walk away. Say, "sorry, I was just leaving". Option #3: Ask him nicely to cease and desist: "Gee Frank, it's not that I don't like listening to you, but I'm buried right now. Can we be a little more concise?" Bottom line: people are uncomfortable talking to someone who is standing. Create a sense that this encounter needs to be temporary and it probably will be. If two or three hints like this don't work, tell your boss and don't worry if he knows it's you who turned him in. At that point you've learned that he has no respect for you and your time. So why should you feel guilty about trying to improve things?
What should I do about this work colleague mocking me behind my back?
As one who was involved in Womens' Liberation before it became "Womens' Lib", I find this hard to say, but what you describe DOES sound like "a girl thing". How often do we read or hear a man being upset because someone made a snarky comment about him? They tend to focus on working while at the workplace. That would be good advice for the women you write about (including you.) I can understand your boss' reluctance to get involved in a "She said", "she said" "cat fight". Suck it up, buttercup! In Buddhism, the lotus is respected because it can bloom above the sh*t. If you can cultivate that attitude, it will serve you well. Think about Obama. When did he "just couldn't take it and [break] down crying"? Many of the people he works with are "unfriendly and cold."I don't have to tell you about the really nasty things that were and are being said about him. Cultivate self-discipline and dignitylike his, and you will never regret it. If you confront someone about their bad behaviour, they will lie, and become "aggressive and defensive." That's just about as certain as gravity. Sending unnecessary e-mails is just too high school. You're not the only one who "[doesn't] want to go back on Monday." That's part of the human condition. At times, I've found it useful to say to myself the schoolground saying "I'm rubber, you're glue. It bounces off me, and sticks to you." Good luck, and a strong backbone!