Why is there so much pressure for men to be good in bed?
Some of the answers are reading this question very uncharitably, and I think it’s a sad miscommunication.These answers read a selfish and sexist intent: “I only care about my own pleasure. Why are us men expected to do all that hard work for some woman? Lame!”.When read that way, it becomes understandable that one would respond in a prickly or sarcastic fashion and write things like “because men suck in bed” (we probably do, but that’s not relevant here) or “why would women need to enjoy sex too?” and so on.But that’s an incredibly negative interpretation of what’s being asked here. I believe it reflects women’s (in itself understandable) fear of being disrespected and left in the cold, more than that it reflects the intention of the asker.We all think and reason from our personal fears. The asker isn’t being egocentric at all. (Just re-read the question. You’ll see that there is not actually any hint of selfishness in there: that’s all guesswork on your part.) Instead, the asker fears being judged negatively for his sexual performance, and is asking why does it have to be that way? Why are men judged harshly on this (at least in the asker’s perception), while women don’t seem to get blamed as much when the sex turns out poorly?When a perhaps subjective, but otherwise perfectly neutral question gets interpreted as an expression of pretty severe and dehumanising sexism, just because it’s a man who’s asking, and when the asker gets fitted into a male stereotype (“only in it for himself, sees women as objects”) then who is being sexist really?To answer the actual question: the best explanation I’ve seen for gendered double standards like the one that is being asked about is in the difference in how we attribute agency to men and women. This answer explains it really well: Jonathan Roberts's answer to What's something that sucks about being a man?
Why is there so much of pressure for men to change so many things about them, but if a man wants a woman to change he is frowned upon?
See, there is no pressure as such for men to change. All girls ask is for them to improvise and not change completely. We women want our men to shine and evolve and not change them completely as an individual human.Though I completely agree that women should equally cooperate and improvise for their guy/special person too, because efforts should be made from both the sides!Also, when women asks her man to “change”, she simply asks him to focus more on his career, take care of himself, not be rude to others etc. But when a man demands a woman to change (in most of the cases) he wants her to stop talking to other men, to slim down to a zero-figure and a perfect body shape, he asks her to never use any offensive arguments when he is around, that is the time when men are frowned upon. If my man asks me to be passionate, stay healthy, be a nice person, enhance my individuality or grow with him, be successful, why would I ever frown upon him?Instead I’d feel fortunate to have a guy who wins me over and is concerned about me, my goals, passion, life, love, everything!!
Why is there so much pressure to get married?
I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years. We live together and have no children. I don't feel any pressure to get married but we did attend 5 weddings just last year for our friends. Going to weddings where everyone is asking you when you are getting married could be considered pressure. But for me, it's more for the legal protection. When you combine your life and finances with another person and are not married, you are not protected under the law. You could build a life together and if he or she decides to leave, how will you separate you life? Since we're not getting married, we have a written contract that we both signed in front of a notary. It may not hold up in court but at least it's something.
Why's there so much pressure to being a christian?
If faith alone "supposedly" saves you, accepting christ as your savior, then what's with all the BS christians are putting themselves through? Did christ say go out and build churches, give to charity, go to dangerous anti-christian parts of the world and pass out bibles, go to church every sunday, memorize scripture. Wasn't it said when christ was on the cross, one man next to him, obviously a murderder said, "remember me when you enter your kingdom" and christ said he would. Well, that man was obviously on a cross too and I doubt he lived his life a christian! Works alone don't get you into heaven, so, what's the deal with christians doing so much that isn't even sciptured. If a person becomes a christian, do they have to change their personality or make changes? So what if you like having sex with Latin girls! Alot of people do, christians as well, maybe it'd loosen alot of people up!
Do men feel a lot of pressure to be a "real man"?
Thanks for the A2A.It's hard to give a specific answer to your question, just because it's hard to quantify "a lot", and the amount of pressure one feels is situational. I can, however, answer to my own experience, and try and see how that compares to others'.To me, a "real man" (note the quotation marks) is someone who watches sports, guzzles beer, gets pussy, fights hard, shouts loud, eats like a pig, swaggers like a gangster, and never, ever, ever shows weakness. Personally, I experience a low amount of pressure to conform to this ideal. Although there is always a low-level amount of pressure all across society, in reality, the effects are felt prominently, or not felt at all, depending on one's friend group. In fact, the pressure to "be a real man" could better be described as the pressure to fit in.In certain groups, as you might expect, this pressure is high. On sports teams, in fraternities, or in other large organizations of men, there is great pressure to mimic the behavior of the group. I have not had much experience with these groups, but when I have, it's been a pressure that I would consider highly negative. It's this kind of desperation that forces men (at least in college) to binge drink, disrespect women, and conceal or give up their less "manly" pursuits. After college, I'd say the main result of this pressure is to ruin the lives of those who try and conform to it. Live by the sword, die by the sword, essentially.I gave up trying to be a real man because I started off so far afield from the ideal. As I tried to conform, I gradually realized it was impossible, and so I gave up early on and just decided to be myself, however lonely that may be. I grew comfortable with being alone. Once you accept loneliness, and not fitting in, you're free from these kind of social stereotypes. The thing is, everyone's scared to be alone.TL;DR-- I feel a low amount of pressure to fit in, the amount of pressure depends on the group of friends you have, and the pressure's generally negative. Avoid it by hanging out with either the right people or no one at all.
What pressures do Indian men and boys face in Indian society?
Boys/Men face a lot of pressure both in their childhood and then in the adult life. The fixed gender roles binds men also, well that’s how patriarchy works.In this system Boys/Men’s life’s aim is to earn money. So they have to study professional courses, which can get good paying jobs (like engineering/medical ) even if they want to go into social sciences, arts or any other field… but then these don’t fetch you good salaries… So…After studies pressure is there to find a high paying Jobs, even when a low paying job which can give more interesting work and satisfaction is available or if you want to go for some higher studies (PhD etc.)… these are total no no…The pressure to get married, even if you are not ready for it or don’t want to get married.The (unnecessary) bashing/beatings from parents at home and teachers at school… after all boys and men are hard… and don’t listen easily…If you are fat/little obese, you will be commented upon by many (your friends, relatives etc.)The pressure to not talk with girls/women nicely or if you talk, talk down to them… this comes especially from your peer group…
Are Women better than Men when they are under pressure ?
Yes or no. This can go many ways. We see how Women react when they are feeling the daily pressures of life. They become prositutues, they do drugs, they lie, they steal, they eat your food. Ha, ha, ha. No seriously though. Can Women really handle pressure ? If so, then are the better under pressure than Men ? Men can take a lot, internally. Yes, I know Women do too. But please dont give me the Women have babies speech. If you have a weak mind, or low self esteem, then it can be an uphill battle. But if you are disciplined, determined, strong willed, then life is much easier to deal with. Trust me when I say this. Confidence matters. But sometimes we fall under tremendous pressure. And sometimes, I see Women break in ways that they are not willing to admit. In other words, they get bogged down and then become irrational. And then things just go downhill from there. But guys react differently. We are calm and cool. We dont overreact under pressure. What do you think..........
I’m a 19 y/o guy and everybody puts so much pressure on my dating life, almost like I’m weird for not dating anyone right now. What should I do?
If you feel the need to answer, rather than ignore them, I suggest youremain calm, getting upset will only give them more to tease/harass you about.tell them you are focusing on __________ and dating is distracting and/or just doesn’t interest you.if you have a close relationship with them and feel it appropriate, explain that you aren’t driven to date right now because you are just too busy with other things. You can, if true, say that you are attracted but just feel that it is not worth the effort now or that you feel you can’t give anyone else your best.explain to them that your life is, in fact and practically, yours to lead as you see fit unless it infringes on the life of another. You not date doesn’t make their life any different.You be you. If dating feels like a task or burden then you are right to not do so at this time in your life, in my opinion. The person you date deserves someone who has the time, energy, and inclination to provide their best. If you can’t, or won’t do that, then taking a step back to focus on other things is a responsible and kind thing to do. Your life, your decisions. Don’t get angry with those who comment because they care, just let them know where you stand and ask them to respect your right to choose. Those who just use it as ammunition to tease you aren’t worth your time or energy getting upset with.