My parents are trying to force me into an arranged marriage!?
I'm Indian and my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. My boyfriend went to them for their blessings and the family ended up getting in a huge fight. They say they can't leave the house again if we get married and that I'll be such a shame and embarrassment to them. I don't know what I'll do without him. I've known he's the one for me for the past 4 years and I cannot live without him. The thought of marrying someone else that they arrange for me sickens me. And for people that don't understand and will say "forced marriage is illegal" I know it is. The thing with Indian parents tho is they will make you feel like such an awful person and will guilt you into an arranged marriage. I don't want to have to elope and I really want my parents approval. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do! Please help Ps. My boyfriend is white and Christian. Basically they think he'd never accept my faith (Hindu) and they think he our customs will be too different that we won't be happy together. First of all I'll be much happier with someone I love rather than someone I don't and they force me to marry but I can't explain that to my parents because they straight up don't believe in "falling in love." It's all BS to them. No matter how many times I tell them he'd never make me change my religion and wants to raise our kids in both religions as well as cultures. He even wanted to learn my native language for me! This boy is amazing and my parents don't care that I love him and want to force me into an arranged marriage. Help me please
My parents want me to have a love marriage, but I think this is just an excuse because they are too lazy to arrange a marriage for me. What should I do?
You are lucky indeed since you have the freedom and liberty to choose from. All the best with that. :)But since you are in India, there is a catch (this is something I am currently facing)You might want to marry the girl you choose but most of the time, since the Indian kids are fed to go for an arranged marriage, the chances of you finding a girl who is willing for a love cum marriage set up is less.I am a girl, I have dated and trust me, my boyfriend dint have the balls to take me to his house. He is going for an arranged set up. Coward i tell u ! Also, the society judges the girl by the parents, since my parents arent having a good marriage, I am judged by the behaviour of my father. Which is unfair. Trust me im not exaggerating on this one.So even if i want to date a guy and get married to, the guy is not willing to accept the tag i carry from my parents and as I said not all are bold enough to go for a love cum marriage set up. Lot of cowards out there, both girls and boys. BEWARE !!
How to tell my parents i want to be single forever ?
Well i am currently 21 years old and have recently been dating a girl ( who is not from my university). I am anyway going to leave her after i graduate as i will be very busy with work commitments. I may move to a different city but whatever i do i am sure i will leave her. So anyway my parents have kept on asking me if i have found anyone and they want me to get married before 28. I keep telling them i am not prepared but they just go on rambling. I just want a free single and promiscuous life but i dont know how to explain to mom and dad. They also keep threatening me by saying if i dont find a girlfriend they will arrange a marriage for me. Please give some advice. Thank you.
How to convince parent that i don't want an arranged marriage?
I've known my boyfriend for over 4 years now. It started off with being best friends, but 2 years ago we got together, i just couldn't help fall in love with him. We have such strong feelings for each other, i cant imagine my future without him. I'm turning 20 soon, and i live in a single parent family with my dad and 2 younger brothers. My dad fixed my marriage with someone from India (family friend), when i was 16, there is 4 years gap between me and him just like my bf. At first i thought, its all good as i do trust my dads choice and he didn't want me to get married any time soon, only when i finish my education and get a good job. But now i'm in love with someone else, haven't told my dad yet because i'm not sure how he will react. He has full faith and trust in me, which i don't want to break because i really respect him, but i defiantly know he wont approve of love marriage, and running away is not even an option for me. I was thinking of telling him when i finish uni, and get a job as i would be standing on my own feet, i'm not sure if that will make a difference to his thoughts and views though. I don't want my boyfriend waiting for me, and i end up marrying someone else, because i know if my dad wont agree to love marriage i will either get arranged marriage or not get married at all. My bf's parents have approved of this already, they are as religious as my dad, and have similar views but they understand their son's happiness, don't know if my dad will understand me too. I just need some advice on how i should come out with this, and when will be the right? I just don't want to upset my dad, but i cant risk my future over cultural traditions.
Can a person be happy with an arranged marriage after love failure?
Yes you can be happy. I have too many heart failure stories of my own. My friends used to say that you can fall in love for anybody and at some point they are right. I have my long list of love failure stories.First when i was in class 5th. One girl who was failed last year in class 5 became my classmate and after i saw her first time i was in love with her.After one year of loving her i lost my first rank to her and next year went to another school. This is my first heart failure.Second in class 10th i proposed one girl and surprisingly she said yes. we started making our love story. unfortunately after we finished our schooling she met somebody else and again left me with my broken heart.Then i came to college for bachelor degree and there i met one girl. She became my best friend. In second year i started loving her and propose her. She already had a boyfriend so “NO” was the answer. Still i was in love with her then suddenly her best friend proposed me. I thought it is better to love somebody who loves you back. So i said yes to her. 6 month we were in nice relationship. One day i tried to kiss her and she broke up with me.After all these i decided not to love anybody. But after these many love failure again i met one girl who propose me. She knew everything about me and surprisingly she has lot of respect for me. Finally we started dating and these love story went for 5 year. I have decided to marry her but one day the news came from my home that my younger brother did love marriage and due to which my dad condition become critical. I asked the girl to leave me or wait for me till the condition became ok. After one year she called me and invited me for her marriage.After so many failure finally i got married (arranged one). It took three years to understand each other. We had fight due to different opinions on like everything but with lot of patience and of-course time we became soulmates.No we are like thisI am sure we will be like this forever…Few days before she gave me the good news. We are going to be parents. The kid is our symbol of love and good times we have shared.So yes the heart failure is may be another chance to find the true love. I am not saying all girls i met were wrong or bad but they all had there time and moments which we have enjoyed.Keep reading keep smiling.Sorry for my bad English (Even my wife said my English is bad but i am good)Image Source: Sir Google
Is Indian Marriage System (Arranged Marriage) good?
From what happened to me..IT WAS SOME B.S.! I dated an Indian guy from Bangladesh for 18mos. & all of a sudden he shows up at my door one night saying he is getting married! I thought it was a frickin' joke. I saw that he wasnt laughing and I kicked him out & slammed the door on him! I have been hurt & angry for 7 months now over that. I kept asking him over and over why werent we getting married after all of that time and he would brush me off. He should not have led me on like that. I had developed a lot of love for him, and he wasnt honest with me about their "culture". I can only imagine how many American women & men have had their heartbroken by Indian people. I am still hurt about that. When he said that it was like something off of a soap opera and they should be more upfront with people about their systems. After he came back from India for 2 months we talked and he said the wife was his cousin and that it is apart of their religion! I was like ???? This dude is nuts! I swear if I had of known how bizzare he was, I wouldnt have ever ever ever gotten involved with him. I felt like he used me until he could get to his own kind or something. He gets mad when I tell him I'm going on a date and he asks me about who I am seeing currently. I'm like dude....if you wanted to be with me, why would you go and marry someone else? He still tries to sleep with me too, and I'm like go back to your country and be with your wife. It's hard to resist him because I still love him. But I swear that is the most piercing & severe pain to go through. I wouldnt wish that on anybody I swear I would'nt. It already hurts to break up with someone, but to shock them and up and go get married to someone else could traumatize a person for life! Geezz..
Are love marriages are successful or arranged marriages are successful?
Both marriages can be successful, or then again, not successful. It depends on the people involved. In most parts of the world where arranged marriages are found, you are not only marrying a person, you are marrying a family. This encourages more often a group effort to work out problems. I have many friends who have arranged marriages. Some are happy, some are not. As far as love marriages go, there is this crazy idea that 1 of every 2 marriages fail. "Pollster Louis Harris has written, "The idea that half of American marriages are doomed is one of the most specious pieces of statistical nonsense ever perpetuated in modern times." "It all began when the Census Bureau noted that during one year, there were 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces. Someone did the math without calculating the 54 million marriages already in existence, and presto, a ridiculous but quotable statistic was born. "Harris concludes, "Only one out of eight marriages will end in divorce. In any single year, only about 2 percent of existing marriages will break up." If you want statistics, look up on Ask.com or sites like that where you can get published numbers. Why ask us? We know no more than you :). As for me, I have a g/f that could not be more opposite than me. older/younger, white/brown, christian/hindu, american/indian ....... getting the idea? We had to find each other as no one would/could have arranged or foretold (including astologers) that we would have found each other. If you are having your marriage fixed and are happy with whom you are being fixed with, then go for it. If not, look for someone yourself.