I have a friend who shows up to my house uninvited and then expects me to entertain him. Is there a courteous way to get him to stop?
For many, this is what close friendship looks like, or at least what many people idealize a friendship to look like. No boundaries, your home is my home, we like spending all our time together. Consider the way it was on the sitcom “Friends,” with everyone coming and going and hanging out as they pleased at Monica and Rachel’s apartment. Many people want that, especially people who are extroverted and gain energy being around others, and who don’t understand that many people cherish their own space and time alone, and basic boundaries. Many people want that who desire close, intimate friendships. It’s not that unusual or malicious.I would beg you not to use the passive aggressive techniques that others have recommended, such as making excuses, hiding from him, or otherwise. Set your boundaries like an adult; own that these are your needs, your boundaries, and you need to own your feelings and desires and communicate them in a straight-forward, caring manner.You and your group of friends have established an open door policy. Your friend comes over because he likes you and likes spending his time with you. He assumes you feel the same, and doesn’t have a clue you don’t. It’s not a big deal to say that you need a little more time to yourself, and you’d like him to stop dropping by without giving notice that he’s coming, and that you need more space.
Invited then uninvited to a wedding...?
When you are broke you are broke, and if you want to get married anyway, you just have to make some cuts. Feel sorry for her, and just get over it. Yes it's rude, but imagine how bad she feels that it came to that. And look who she is marrying, Mr. Rude--standing up at your wedding? Just let it go.
Why would my friends invite me then uninvite me?
Today my friend ask me and my other friend to hangout and we had a plan on what we were going to do. Then right be we were going to hangout, both of my friends bailed out on me. But then they kept sending me snapchats of the two of them doing what we had planned to do. Why would my friends do this? Why would they unvite me?
Boyfriend uninvited me to a party that he is going to?
My boyfriend has been talking about a show (concert) all week, I later find it out that it is actually house party with 5 bands. Most of the people who are going to be there are people from his work who he has known for about 6 months, but people I have known for years, but don't really hang out with much. We kinda have an understanding that sometimes he just wants to go out alone which I am totally fine with, but yesterday he asked me if I was coming to the show with him (he told me he wanted to go alone before that day) and I said yes. I was looking forward to it all day at work and all afternoon. He watched me get ready before the party. On the way to the party we had stopped for pizza we were talking about where it was and he said "...yeah, you can just drop me off at the corner when we get there." I was stunned. I was like wtf are you talking about? He was acting like that was the plan all along . I got angry and he was like "I don't know, I figure you would hate the music and the stupid people there so I figured you would just want to drop me off." I told him I didn't get all dolled up to eat a slice! I just felt like garbage, after all I had just gotten made up and got excited about it all day (as he watched me!). He was then like, 'no, come with me', blah blah. I didn't want a fight and I was angry so he went to the show and I am now home. I cried and took all my clothes and makeup off. All the good bars in walking distance are having a fraternity pub crawl (yuck) and now I am really in the mean reds. Am I overreacting? Do I have a right to be upset? I really wanted to go that party, but I don't want to F$$cking appease him or take any pity. Any advice?
Friends didn't invite me to a sleepover?
Is this Rude or am I Overreacting? I had a sleepover a few weeks ago and invited my two best friends. Then this new girl joined out group and kept on bugging me to invite her to my sleepover, as did my friends as they really liked her. So I did, I pestered my parents until they said yes. During my sleepover, the new girl sort of took over: we watched whatever films she wanted etc. Now, I've just found out they're having 2 other sleepovers, I asked why I wasn't invited politely and the new girl said "I can only invite 2 people," as did my best friend when I asked her why I wasn't invited to hers. I'm really annoyed and think it's really rude seems as I made a special exception to invite the new girl, yet they can't seem to make one to invite me. They're really leaving me out: they like all the same bands and want to turn emo so they talk about them 99% of the time; they make fun of my ginger hair until it's really not funny anymore; and they don't invite me to go shopping, visit the cinema etc. Tomorrow it's the first day back at school after Autumn break, and I know they'll be talking about their 2 sleepovers all day. Should I say something or keep my mouth shut and stay away? It's my best friend's birthday and I'm giving her a gift tomorrow, so I can't stay completely away. My mum and dad say I'm too nice: giving her a nice gift for her birthday, even though he didn't invite me to her party, and the new girl didn't either? Should I say nothing or stand up for myself?
My friend apparently uninvited me?
My friend invited me to sleep over at her house with 2 other girls. I called her the day before the sleep over and asked her if she's still having it. She told me no, she's sick so she's cancelling it. She really was sick at the time. She had missed school and went to the doctor all week. She said she was starting to feel better but still wasn't having the sleep over. I found out today that she really did have the sleepover. I didn't find out from her. My neighbor (who is also friends with my friend) asked me why I wasn't there. Then she told me about all the people that were there and how much fun they had. I feel kind of betrayed. My friend isn't the kind of person who would just blow me off, though. I'm so confused. Her family is very religious so they believe in telling everyone the truth. I even talked to her mom the day before the sleep over and she said that my friend wasn't feeling well. I'm so confused. Her family isn't the lying type, but she did lie to me. I depend on her for some things so I can't cut off from her. What should I do? I'm angry but I know that if I let my anger known, I will want to cut off from her. Help? I don't know if I should talk to her about it. I also found out about it because one of the girls posted pictures online of the sleepover and made a status about it. My friend and I haven't gotten in any fights the whole 2 years we have been friends. I talked to my sister about what happened. She told me I should cut off from my friend.
Supposed "friend" uninvited me on a trip? Avoids me and does not own up to her invite?
Ok I've known this girl just over a year (we'll call her "Mary"). Mary and I have a mutual friend, "Leah", who I've known for 3 years. Well one night out, Mary invites Leah and I on a trip during spring break and says she got a really good deal on plane fare and we'd just split the hotel bill, etc... So Leah and I oblige. A month later I text Mary asking for an update. No response. 2 weeks after that I text Leah to see if she's heard anything. Leah says Mary no longer wants me on the trip and has invited other friends. So I was upset but still texted Mary on a trip update. No response. 2 weeks later Leah is all excited and tells me she got her passport. I say "aw wish I could come with you". Leah says she is sorry and that the plans are all set and they are all ready to go. So I text Mary again asking for a trip update. No response. I text Leah that I'm sorry if I seem mad at her but since I can't get a hold of Mary, Leah is the next one to complain to. I say I am not mad at Leah since she has nothing to do with this but also it is not her place to tell me I am not going, it is Mary's (since Mary was the one to invite us). Mary invited me out for her birthday party and I am debating whether to go or not because I'm sure it will be awkward for me and Mary. My question is why would Mary intentionally invite me and then just quietly leave me out? Why hasn't she owned up to her shizzz? Is she afraid I might lash out at her? Seeing we've only known each other for just over a year I can understand that but I still want to know what her reasoning is. If she would just own up to her invite and just tell me why, I would respect her a lot more. Mary is able to tell people what's what because I've seen her do it before. But all of a sudden she doesn't tell me anything. Thoughts?