Why Would She Abandon Her Own Project

How do daddy issues affect a relationship?

Women frequently (and often subconsciously) are attracted to men who emulate their fathers in terms of personality or behavior. A girl's first and most prominent example of manhood is her father. Whether for better or worse, this means that she will naturally associate the qualities of her father with the meaning of the term "manliness." So if her father is a kind, gentle, wise man she will likely seek a romantic partner who shares those qualities; likewise, unfortunately, for those women whose fathers were abusive / detached / absent from the home.Additionally, sometimes insecurities of a woman in a relationship can stem from the relationship she had with her dad. In the case of the father who was usually away from home or who abandoned his wife and kid(s), for example, his daughter may worry once she has a boyfriend / fiance / husband that he will avoid or abandon her - even if this is far from his actual intention. But then it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy if her anxiety and neediness push him away, seeming (to her mind) to validate her expectations. Given enough repetition of this pattern in her relationships, she may well conclude that all men will avoid or abandon her - and this idea alone can completely ruin her chances to have a healthy, happy relationship with any man.A father also has a lot of influence in helping or hurting the self-esteem of a girl developing into a woman. During the pre-teen and teenage years in particular, girls are going through a lot in terms or hormonal, bodily, and social changes / pressures. It becomes easy for her to doubt herself, especially if she falls into the trap of comparing herself to and envying other girls who seem more gifted in appearance or other qualities that make her more popular. The affirmations of a supportive, loving father can make a world of difference in those turbulent years. Kids whose fathers are actively and positively involved in their lives statistically get into less illegal / sexual / otherwise dangerous activity. They tend to do better in school and have better chances of resisting peer pressure. This of course can have deep ramifications on a girl's path through life: it's far better to become a high school graduate headed for college than a high school dropout on account of a teenage pregnancy, for instance.

What is the thought and emotional process behind those who abandon someone they claim to love?

FearWhenever one person appears to abandon the other as a seemingly conscious choice, that option is acted upon due to the perception of the individual whom believes their strategy of avoidance is the best way to deal with the situation.The underlining avoidance tactic is motivated by fear and it is the opposite expression of abandonment. These people are afraid to be hurt, to be intimate, to love and lose just as much as anyone, but instead of going forward into that dark night, they run away. They are afraid that you or whomever they run from, does not really care and they refuse to face them, in fear that their assumptions will be proven valid.When someone appears to abandon the other, he or she usually has no idea about the abandonment aspect. This is due to that person acting under distress and for his or her own reasons, in fear of what may happen if he or she were to stay. It is totally in ignorance.The crutch is that such people really do love or care about the other, but are afraid that the relationship will not be reciprocated, so they run. Or, the kind of affects you are generating is not wholly genuine, but is based on lack, as if you need that person in order to feel your own love.If you loved yourself more, you would not feel his absence as a loss, you would not cling to him as your excuse to feel your love, and he would most likely stick around, because you do not need him in order to be happy. Happy people gravitate to each other, and pseudo-happy people gravitate towards each other.Abandonment issues arise in pseudo-happy people whom project their own love ‘out there,’ on to other people. It is the experience of falling in Love. The love is real, but the misperception lies in the idea that the other person is ‘making you’ feel that way, when in actuality your presence to their uniqueness is what disarms your rational mind from criticism, just long enough to allow your own love to usher forth out of that presence.When you realize that the love you want was always your love to begin with, you can change your relationship to love and be in love with yourself and life, rather than seek it out there.Just watch yourself the next time you have a feeling and notice how it comes from within, in response to an excuse ‘out there’ or in your mind.