Does being divorced twice raise a lot of red flags for women?
it might actual enhance a crimson flag for me, through fact it skill that the guy has undertaking following by using on commitments. i'd, besides the incontrovertible fact that, be keen to hearken to their version of what went incorrect in those relationships, and that i'd be sure as much as i'd desire to earlier blaming the two former spouses for the divorces. Abuse occurs, infidelity occurs, courting-breaking disagreements ensue (i.e., no rely if or to no longer have a new child), so in specific situations the split's expert.
Red flags are red flags, whether the guy is nice or not.Mr Unavailable - if he’s still physically or emotionally connected to an ex, then he’s not the man for me.Narcissist - been there and destroyed the t-shirt.Smoker - can’t stand the smell, it gets into everything.Negative thinker - I am a positive person with loads of energy, don’t want anyone bringing me down.Unmotivated/Unresourceful - I like a man who can, and wants to, do things with his time.Addictions (drugs/gambling) - I’m not here for their entertainment.No sense of humour - you gotta have a laugh.Looks like an ex - ew!Has not yet rolled a car - better he does that before he meets me, because statistically, he’s unlikely to do that twice in a lifetime.The wrong zodiac sign.There’s probably more but these are at the top of my list.
I THINK I AM SEEING RED FLAGS!!?
you should see that the color of the flags coincides with your hopes and expectations...if you're still in the 'fling' mode, just having fun, then the flags are not so red...probably 'rainbow' and ranging from bold to pastel in hue...lol if you're feeling serious about this guy, then yeah, the flags are definitely red...the more serious you are, the redder they are... look, it's pretty obvious what the guy is doing here, and you need to know where you stand with yourself before you can ascertain where you want to be with him...too many people overlook their own desires, hopes, dreams...and let the guy or gal they really feel something for pretty much slide when things begin to become clear about them...don't let your emotions override your brain...you see red here, i can tell by the way you put the question and elaborate in the explanation...red is definitely the color, but you're hoping that you're color blind... you can have a relationship here, but ignoring the facts pretty much means you've decided that, since you're not actually color blind, you'll try ignoring those flags...next, you'll want to dye them...and the trouble with that is that it won't change the flags really...he'll keep right on putting them out there for you... life is pretty hard when you keep trying to change reality...and when you start trying to change yourself because the reality doesn't respond, it gets impossible... i wish you well
Red flag? Would I be a red flag for living in mother's rental property?
I am in the same situation..I feel I have been fortunate enough to have a mom who is supportive and is there for her grandkids. I have been a single mom for five years and I have a great job (12 hour shifts) I have three teenagers and one 10 yr old. they have a comfortable home and security and I have enough money to get them other things they need rather than paying a huge amount for rent. but to be honest my mom has been the most strict "bill collector" I have ever dealt with, no slack..money on time, all the time. anyone who would consider that as a red flag is not living in the real world.
Is this a red flag?
With all due appreciate, I ought to disagree with this one Levon. Why? because of the fact it ought to be used against you in basic terms as relatively as you need to apply it. human beings ought to mark you with a commie flag, which might easily trojan horse the snot out of you, and does no longer be genuine. Then, somebody who would not comprehend you could see it, and think of you have been one in each and every of "those" adult adult males. and you recognize there are adequate bozo's in this internet site that should try this just to be "lovable". I accept as true with some others right here who say that many each and every person is extremely pointed out after the 1st couple of words, then you certainly can in basic terms pass onto the subsequent answer without dropping anymore time. maximum of those varieties in elementary terms comprehend some words besides...the rest are lined in lovable little stars like those ***********************!! it is all they comprehend whilst they could't help a element it is clever. Then, out comes the cuss-o-meter. Boy, that relatively shows their I.Q. i assume they pass by potential of the previous adage, "in case you could no longer dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bull". <*)))><
What are RED flags to you now that you are senior citizens when looking at a person as a mate?
1. Relationships with family and offspring - healthy, close and appreciative are GREAT...consistent problems send a red flag up for me. My family is very important to me, and although we are not joined at the hip we do love and cherish each other and I come as a 'package deal'..lol 2. Like values [yes, ignored that in my youth] 3. A 'been there, done that' attitude toward experiencing life....I am NOT ready to lay down and die and not take joy in everything life has to offer that I can reasonably do. I love to travel, immerse myself in other cultures, try new things, new food tastes, etc. Not ready to sit on the front porch rocking and doing little else. 4. People who don't like pets. That is their prerogative...but for me, it sends up a danger flag. Plus I ain't sharing with someone who can't accept my kitty [or doggie] 5. Those who exhibit controlling behavior. [learned this later in life] - this is a BIGGIE because it can lead to abuse of all kinds. [learned this too late to avoid a lst bad marriage] 6. Those who do not have a 'life' when I meet them and are looking for someone to GIVE them a life. Come to me already peaceful and relatively happy, in addition to financially able to care for themselves...together we may be able to do even more! That way we two can enhance each other..
Well, as I fit this category so I feel somewhat qualified to respond. And my response is, there is nothing specifically different you should look for that you shouldn't look for when dating anyone who has been through a break up of significant consequence. These days living with someone vs. being engaged doesn't really represent a huge difference with the exception you have 'publicly declared' your intentions following societies norms when you have engaged. I was engaged when I was 23, we had dated and lived together for 2 years at that point and I was going through the motions of natural progression.The break up was awful and drawn out, but overall I stand today feeling like I dodged a bullet. Determine which side of the fence they were on. Victim or instigator of the separation. Use this information as a pointer to look for personality traits and clues on their behaviours. If you have dated more than once or twice don't feel shy to ask why it didn't work out, if they are willing to talk about it it's a good sign they have a healthy perspective on it. If they talk too much or get upset I'd take this as a red flag.If they have a repeat history of commitment and separation this is a red flag. I fall into this category, while only engaged once I have lived with partners on a few occasions. I'm aware somethings 'up' with it and chalking it down to experience while I sort it out and not moving so fast to commit the past couple of years. How recent was the separation. If it's less than 6months I'd have reservations. I'm not saying walk away, but take it slow and determine there is really a deep connection and not just a rebound or desperation to fill the gap (standard advice).Overall I'd say don't see it as a too big of an issue, what's important is the outlook and future. We all have some baggage, especially as we get older.
YES. Count it as huge red flag #1. He will do it again, for sure. There's much more anger where that came from.He was in tears because he didn't want to show his face yet. Also, he probably genuinely doesn't want to be that person but, unfortunately, he's compelled by his disturbed psyche. So, those tears were for himself, not you.It was a slip up. Where there's smoke, there's fire.People can usually put on a facade for 6 months to a year. Then the other shoe drops. The mask falls. His true character is revealed. That's what happened. You got a glimpse of his true self, prematurely. Be glad. He was not prepared for that.He has a severe mental problem and you better start listing his symptoms and do your homework. Research and dig for more info. Huston, we have a problem.He has a lot of pent up rage. That's dangerous. He sounds controlling. That's serious.Research to find out what his problem is. Be wise. Don't invest too much time with this person. That anger could easily turn physical.Anger resides in the bosom of a fool. Anger is also contagious. And dangerous.Wait and watch. Take careful note. Respond prudently with your happiness in mind. Blessings.
The lines cans be blurred however these are the key differences between the two:BPD suffer from abandonment issues real or imagined. I was dating one girl and her friend who had BPD and we didn’t know at the time came up with this idea that we were going to forget about her and destroyed our relationship to keep us in her life but now none of us talk to each otherBPD are self destructive, sex drugs and rock n roll, cutting, suicide attempts etc etcBPD implode, rather than attack the person that hurt them like NPD, they think they are wrong and attack themselves believing it was their fault the person reacted the way they did.BPD has black and white thinking, two people can do the exact same thing and be seen in different lights or they could for example see student loan debt as better than a mortgage debt. Somethings are all good or somethings are all bad to them tooBPD has unstable relationships, the woman I mentioned above has always had horrible relationships with men and the occasional woman. And a revolving door of friends you’d seen once or twiceBPD will have inappropriate reactions, we are talking like the woman had a baby that she pushed onto her parents and could care less about it but if you gave her a cookie she would bounce off the walls.BPD will also come with other mental health problems because the name comes from the fact it borders on various other mental health issues. The woman I mentioned earlier was also a hoarder, suicidal, had substance abuse issues, neglected her pets, is about to turn 30 and never driven a car before. You usually get an entire buffet of mental health issues with them