Family angry over elopement.?
My fiance and I have chosen to elope in July. I've always wanted to get married on the beach, and have never cared for weddings honestly. My fiance feels the same way. We were really excited about it until I told my family. They want to come with us, and I'm not trying to sound awful but I really wanted it to be private. Just me and my fiance. Another reason why is because even if I did let my family go, my fiance's family can't afford the trip and I don't want their feelings hurt. How can I tell my family we want to go alone without making them angry? I suggested that after our trip, we'll come back and personally throw a party. No gifts necessary, just so our families can celebrate with us. But that doesn't seem to make things better. I'm so frustrated.
Would sending out announcement cards after an elopement help us get some money or gifts or acknowledgment?
My husband and I eloped. We sent out announcements informing friends and family of this "We Eloped"..........and included a picture of us in our announcements (Definitely, DON'T include anything requesting money or gifts....that's not a reason to send out announcements). We did it because it was something we wanted each side of our families to be aware of, along with our friends too.....and not for the gifts. However, in response to our announcements, a few either sent us cards congratulating us (no gifts), and a few gave gifts (even though we didn't expect them). It was a very nice surprise, and unexpected too. Now, re: gift giving. When you give a gift, you chose to do this because you wanted to, not because you expect something in return later down the road. "Quid Pro Quo" ("something for something"). A gift is suppose to be a nice gesture or a nice thought, and it doesn't have to be extravagant either. The less you expect, the more you'll end up getting in return. So, just a thought, do it because you want to, not because you feel obligated too. I just hope someone in your family will be kind, considerate and thoughtful enough to have a baby shower for you. Best wishes.
What problems may arise from eloping?
We were planning on doing the same thing, BUT when we sat down and really looked at cost we figured that we'll spend the same amount doing it "right" versus eloping. We are doing an outdoor ceremony (San Diego), wedding attire, standing "room" only, BBQ/Beach Reception/Party/Bonfire. Sounds like you are paying for the same things: the attire, the photographer, a Justice/Officiant... what else is there really other than inviting everyone to join you? And having the reception the same day is nice - you were going to spend that money anyway. You don't have to do something very costly - tea/coctail/brunch/do a cake, a toast and a dance, then call it good. Celebrate! I've seen a lot of family issues with eloping, hurt feelings that you left someone out - especially the family. I wish you the best of luck! -Elle
I'm eloping and people are making me feel bad.?
I'm eloping and I'm getting mixed reactions...most of them making me feel bad. One woman actually told me that it didn't matter what I wore to get married in because no one would see me so I shouldn't care. Another woman said that she's so sorry and wanted to know when I was due (I am NOT pregnant). Another couple actually insinuated my parents were cheap and didn't want to throw the party (my father is out of a job and it almost crushed him to hear that). We are eloping because his father can't travel and my family is already arguing over the details. I always wanted something small but just my family is over 100 people. We're still going to a church AND we're having a pastor preside. Why are people being so rude to me about it? When did eloping become such a sin??
Is it right to leave someone you love even if you are from different religions without even trying and convincing your parents and just by thinking that there is no future?
Think twice before you start doing anything. Backing out from what you dared to do is disgraceful. It is always difficult to marry some one against conservative family back ground. But some times what we fear to do will happen without much trouble. Dropping something without trying it is like giving up the exam without reading the question paper. Inter religious marriages are not uncommon since very long time. There could be initial hiccups but it is possible if both of you are determined and truly loving each other.Generally I do not appreciate love marriages for they sometimes destroy families in to pieces.Religions are not against love marriages. I can prove that with major examples.If the guy is a deserving person and you are confident about living with him until the last breath come what may nothing wrong in trying it. A little bit of drama is also common to convince parents. Before opening up the matter with your parents speak to the guy you love and take a firm decision. Your parents will not refuse him if he is willing to get converted. All this is possible only when you both are determined and unwavering.Never break anyone’s family . Handle the matter in a matured way. Do not elope. Stay in the family and tell them it is not possible to live with another man for you truly love him and trust that your life will be safe and prosperous. Also assure your parents that you or the boy will not offend the religious part of life. The boy doesn’t have to be an Alim to marry you but a decent man with commonsense.Take a chance. All are not fortunate enough to find a right person in life. Love alone balances everything in life. Marrying the person you love will be wonderful.Good luck. Insha Allah you will make it.
My son eloped and no one was invited to the wedding should I buy him a gift?
I can understand why you are upset that you were not there. However, he is still your son. And he is human - he made a mistake. He will probably realize it later if he doesn't already. But you should still buy him a gift to help him and his new wife get started with their life together, whether you are upset or not. Holding it over his head forever won't do anything for your relationship. The past is the past, and it's best if you try to forgive and forget, and move on in a better direction.
If you request no children to be at your wedding, but allow your nieces and nephews, is that rude?
Nope!They’re family.Quite possibly one or two is even in the wedding as a ring bearer or flower girl.For example, our sons were not invited to my brother in law’s wedding reception, but his bride’s niece and nephews were. I totally understood, as they were in the wedding and our sons were not.For the ceremony itself, I truly don’t have an issue and would not be offended if our children weren’t invited. Weddings are often about space, and it is quite understandable if a bride wishes to have immediate family members there but not children on a broader scope.I would, however, make sure that you clearly limit it to only immediate relatives - little siblings, children of the couple, and nieces or nephews - and not cousin’s children, the little ones you nanny, your neighbor’s child, your best friend’s twins, etc.Short summary: no, not rude.Longer summary: only becomes rude if you pick and choose which non-close-family children are allowed to come.Even then, if your wedding is unusually huge (as ours was) most people will understand if your close friends’ children are invited but a fellow employee’s children are not.