Not attending brother-in-law's wedding?
I think most of the people jumping down your throat dont have children and havent been pregnant before. As a mom of 2 myself, I can completely sympathize. On the one hand you were trying to be sure that you weren't "its all about me" by saying not to plan around you, but on theother hand you seem to have been blindsided by their persistance of your timeline and then their complete ignoring of said timeline. Which is strange to me, but they probably have reasons that, while may not be all that valid to you, are valid to them. And you know from being pregnant before that babies are not an exact science, they come when they want to, there is no saying "Now Bobby, you have to wait to come out until I am ready". Yeah, wouldnt that be a perfect world! Christ, I went to one of the top 10 perinatal doctors in the US and even he couldnt give me anything exact with either of my pregnanices and you know what? They were both early deliveries. I know your feelings are hurt and it may be hormones, but I think its because you feel a bit put off by their actions. However, I think you may just have to get over it, you could never say anything because it isnt really YOUR family, if it was your sister who did this, you could say something, but because its your husbands family, I wouldnt dare mention anything. Just be sure they know that you wont be there and that you have just as good a reason to not attend as they had to plan it on a day where you said you couldnt attend. Making sure they also know that your husbands duties and loyalties lie with you and the baby and if something happens he will also not be attending so they should have a plan B in place as well. Also, I dont think its all that great of an idea for you to be alone during the time he is away, that close to your due date, could your mother or best friend come stay with you to help out with the 2 year old and in case something does happen. Dont be so over concerned with the newlyweds that you forget that in the state you are in, you need alot more care and attention, you are trying to carrying a baby to term, though your heart says "I dont want to ruin someone else's special day" be sure your head is saying "Is this best for ME and the baby as well". Best of luck.
What do you call the sibling of your sibling-in-law (e.g. The brother of your sister's husband)?
Nothing. That sibling is legally and genealogically a stranger to you.Your spouse’s siblings (full, half or step) and your siblings’ spouses are all your brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law. That is as far as the English language strictly goes.Beyond that, there is no effective legal or genealogical term in the English language (or its culture) for the siblings or spouses of those brothers/sisters-in-law.So the brother of your brother-in-law (i.e. sister’s husband) is simply your brother-in-law’s brother.
What is the appropriate way to call your mother and father in law?
I was just thinking about this today. My daughter-in-law (DIL) calls me Tara. I called my mother-in-law by her first name for a long time. My sister-in-law (SIL) called her mom for a while but years later started calling her Mom Lynn. Lynn being the last name. So I started calling her that too. It is hard, I wanted something more personal but I also did not want to disrespect my mom who was still alive. My DIL’s mom passed the year before the kids got married. So I secretly wanted her to call me mom, since she comes to me with her mom questions. But she is close to her one aunt, her Grandma and her sister, so I don’t get all the questions. I guess you just have to find something that works for you and them.
Should my fiance have my brother-in-law in his wedding party?
There is no rule or regulation that says you have to include any of the Bride or Groom's relatives in the wedding party. If you like the person, then ask him, and if you are not close to this person or do not like him then ask someone else. I know of one Bride and Groom who chose their high school and college friends over their brothers and sisters for their wedding party. Why? Because they were closer to their friends. Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
Were you — or would you be — offended when your child decided to legally change his or her name?
My name wasn’t as common as it is now, when I was a kid. People mispronounced it all the time, and I hated being called “Julian,” which I considered to be a boy’s name. Even worse, people I didn’t know would shorten it to Jill. To this day, I hate being called Jill. I just don’t see myself as a Jill. My friend’s brother pointed out that I cringe when I hear it. My own brother does it with a goofy grin, just to get on my nerves.So this was the basis when, at four or five years old, I passionately requested that my Mom change my name to Joy. We knew a Joy from church, and I wanted that joyful name to be mine. I went on with it for a bit, till one day my Mom said, “You do realize your name will then be Joy McCoy, right?And just like that, I was over it.These days, I absolutely love my name, so much so that I think I’ll keep it, even if a man makes a wife out of me.
If my father in law does not get up at the dinner table when any of the ladies excuse themselves, why should I?
I guess that depends on whether you believe yourelf to be an independent thinking adult in your own right or do you think you must follow his example like a baby duck?Like the holding open of doors for ladies with voluminous frocks who had to gather their skirts using both hands to prevent them catching or getting dirty on the oiled edges of car/other doors - in days gone by gentlemen rose to their feet to assist a lady to get out from the dinner table by gently pulling away the chair as she stood up, and they reversed that as she sat down. Many men today will still offer these “courtesy moves” to women, especially holding doors open so it doesnt spring back and whack a girl in the mush, and certainly to anyone who is older and whose memories include their fathers or grandfathers being similarly well mannered. Modern man grunts, stays put, and and says “Do it yourself” or “I’m not doing that!” as if being tackled daily by a crowd of independent-minded bra-burning feminists refusing to receive gestures of gentlemanly conduct with good grace. A gentleman will half-rise from his seat in acknowledgement of a woman leaving the dinner table but the gesture tends to be reserved for formal dining where eg. dinner is served by someone other than a family member.I don’t think anyone should ever feel insulted, aggrieved or offended by someone showing good table manners. I love the film Bridget Jones’s Diary in which Marc Darcy (Colin Firth) who falls in love with Bridget has many of the Good Manners habits of the Landed Gentry having been educated at Public School and whose Education sees him answering a Legal Phrase translated from Latin to Ancient Greek in the Law Society Dinner “Pub Quiz”, yet, he sets about beating Daniel Cleaver to a pulp for abandoning Bridget when she’s ‘wrongly arrested for drug-smuggling in Thailand’. Your standards of conduct and manners are your own, they help to define you, positively or negatively.Lead by example. Make your choices your own rather than make excuses based on the choices of others.