Should I spend Christmas with my family or my girlfriend's family?
Me and my girlfriend have been together nearly a year now and this will be our first Christmas. The thing is her family and my family celebrate it on the same day (Christmas Eve.. weird but it's our tradition). Anyways, my girlfriend told me that I should spend it with her family, but when I told her I couldn't because my family is spending it on Christmas Eve too, she got mad at me. She said that I have to make a sacrifice and go with her family. I told her that on Christmas day I could be with her, but she said that there's nothing special because there's nothing going on that day and I told her it is special b/c it's Christmas day & any moment should be special as long as we're together. She still said no and stayed angry that I can't go to her family's Christmas get together. I know that when it's a marriage, it's different and there are going to be sacrifices, but right now we're just boyfriend and girlfriend. It is a serious relationship, but I told her that family comes first, until we have our own family together. And she got angry when I said that too and said that she's going to spend Christmas with her family every year even when were married, and that I have to be with her. So I can't spend Christmas with my family. This really has me down, because I'm not going to be able to see her at all this Christmas, because I can't go to her family's Christmas party, and she doesn't want me to spend Christmas day with her (because there's nothing special that day...?), and afterwards she leaves for a week for Christmas eve. Anyways, my question(s) are: does my girlfriend have a right to be angry at me? Did I go about this wrong? What should I do to fix this? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much & Merry Christmas :)
How does your family do Christmas morning?
This is the first year ever we will be home on Christmas morning. Normally we stay all night at my parents who live about 2 hours away. We aren't this year b/c Christmas falls on Sunday and we want to go to church on Sunday here. The girls will open their presents first I am sure, then we will probably have homemade cinammon rolls.
Our son will be joining his girlfriend and her family for Christmas. We live 3 hours away from each other. The girlfriend does not understand that our son has a family too. What do we get to look forward to in the future?
My wife and I ran into this problem before we were married—and our families only lived 15 minutes away from each other!The thing to remember is that this is a transition time for everyone involved. The status quo is changing, and that's not always a bad thing. People fall in love, get married, and start new lives, and circumstances change with them.Tread carefully here. It's natural to feel upset that your son will not be spending Christmas with you, but do not let his girlfriend know how you feel. In-law relationships can be difficult as they are. However, you can easily complicate things further by creating tension between you and the girlfriend that may come back to haunt you, should your son end up marrying her.If she picks up on your evident disappointment with her, that can harm your future relationship before it even gets started.I would highly recommend you not say anything to your son about this, either. Why? Because people in relationships tend to talk about a lot of things. Your son may, with or without meaning to, convey your feelings to his girlfriend. That just creates the first problem I mentioned.Not only that, but by creating an issue out of this, you are forcing your son to choose between his loyalty to you and his loyalty to her. Please don't do that. I’ve been there before, and it's no fun.My advice would be to just drop it. Yes, I know it's hard. Christmas is a special time, and it's natural to want to spend it with your son! However, in my opinion, the risks of creating a family rift are just too great.Wish your son and his girlfriend a Merry Christmas and let them know your home is always open to them. Invite them over for Christmas Eve, or perhaps the day after Christmas. Make it fun! Give them a reason to want to spend time with you, other than family duty.Then, step back and let them decide. You might be surprised how much time you’ll get with them in the future if you just let it go.::
My husband's family wants to charge us for Christmas dinner. Am I the crazy one?
I was just wondering…are you talking about his parents? Are they older, on a fixed income? Do they typically host this huge party every Christmas Eve, with dinner, drinks, snacks laid out…cleaning their house from attic to basement in anticipation of the BIG NIGHT?! Do they even have a house big enough to host a huge gathering, or is it merely the goodness of their hearts that prompts them to want everyone together for Christmas?!I ask these questions because of my own family traditions and background ~ I come from a huge family, where my maternal Grandmother started this tradition even before I was born 68 years ago. Cousins came from miles around to be there; everyone brought a dish (so it was not entirely on her shoulders) ~ and even today, Christmas Eve is a huge family event in our lives.Of course, through the years it has tapered down to immediate families LOL ~ nobody’s house is THAT big ~ but the idea is still there. The tradition is alive and well.So, in answer to your question ~ does everyone bring a dish? Are there family members who travel a great distance just to be there for the big event? Or is your family pretty small in comparison, maybe only 2–3 siblings with 1or2 children each? In my mind, a lot would depend on just how big this celebration is to begin with…and if everyone pitched in, that would take a huge load off of your in-laws ~ leaving them free to enjoy the festivities…AND enjoy having their family all together at the same time!Isn’t that the true meaning of any celebration in the first place?!?
My husband is turning 27 on the 20th of this month i am a stay at home mom so i dont really have my own money?
1 candle,some good mood setting music,a nice light meal,and YOU! it's the thought that counts,if money is a bit tight he will understand.
Battle for Christmas Dinner, my boyfriend isn't coming and my parents are LIVID-what can I do?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, we live about an hour away from each other and take turns driving up and down every weekend. He is 24 and I'm 21. We've known each other for about 3 years and things are incredibly comfortable and romantic between us...except for the fact that his family always ends up coming first in our relationship. I spent Thanksgiving with his family (my parents were working and we made an agreement that I would spend Christmas with them) and it was just a nightmare with his siblings yelling and the family pets ALL OVER the place and his parents as sweet as they are practically held us hostage for 8 hours of that day! My family is pretty small and most holiday dinners are filled with family friends and neighbors-more like a party than anything-so spending the day with them was quite a stretch for me emotionally. So for Christmas I PROMISED my parents that I would stay and spend it with them, hoping that because I spent T-Gives with his family that he would at least take the time to make an appearance at my parents dinner (seeing as he's only an hour away and the holidays mean a lot to me). But to my surprise he said he couldn't do it and told me that he will be spending the entire day with his family and hopes I will come up that night. To say no to my mothers Christmas dinner party is insane. Free booze, great food, music,presents, cigars, tons of friendly cheerful people. It's a huge event! So naturally when my mother found out that he wasn't coming, she flipped her lid stating that it was so unfair of him to do that to me and to them considering they didn't make a fuss over Thanksgiving. I love him and I know he loves me, but I feel like my mother has a point in getting upset. Am I crazy? I mean I know we've only been dating for 7 months but I feel that the circumstances are different than in most normal relationships. We've spent a lot of time with each other's family over the 7 months so it just seems that this decision should not be so trivial for him. Please, I need guidance in this situation. My parents are hurt because they feel that he doesn't care enough about them or me to even make an appearance at this dinner, I'm hurt because it's Christmas time and I just wanted everything to work out for once.
How do I ask my in-laws not to send me a Christmas gift? My wife passed away this year and I do not want to exchange Christmas gifts with her parents.
Get a couple of simple thoughtful gifts anyway. Go spend time with them anyway. Hug them and talk to them anyway. Do it for them. It will be better for you too, in the long run, when you don’t have to look back and wish you had. Worry about the hanging on later. This is your chance to do the right thing now and avoid regrets later.Tragedies and holidays are a tough combination for the psyche. I want you to know that you are not alone and that we all take turns taking losses in life. It kind of makes one wonder what her parents are going through right now. It feels so unnatural for a parent to survive their child.What I know and can share about really hard times is that you will face paralysis and will need to keep moving to beat it. You need to keep doing things and stay active and I already said what I think the best thing to do is.I’m glad you brought this up early enough think this through. I’ve got to go but I’d like to break the mood before I go. :: awkwardly hugs OP too long and then smacks OP on ass:: Chin up buddy.
How should i handle my sister in law ( husbands sister)?
my sister in law is very bossy and says rude things to me. She kept saying rude things to me over the phone and she kept repeating the same statements over and over again. I quit talking to her cause I got tired of hearing it. She kept telling me things like I can't wait til christmas eve but my boyfriend says your probably not coming. I told her over and over again that we were and she still kept saying that. It was april not ever summer yet. We went to her house every year. SO when that day finally got here we went and she said alot of rude things to my husband and I. I felt very uncomfortable. My husband didnt stick up for us. We havent seen her since that day because I am still upset about that. When I am with my sister in law at her house my husband is not around and she says alot of rude things to me and ignores me when her friends get there. My problem is I don't say much to her because I dont want to start any trouble in the family. This is just a few things she has been doing.
What do you eat around Christmas time?
My old life was the traditional turkey, dressing, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, apple and pumpkin pie and then those brightly colored candies that were almost pure sugar. There would also be Christmas cookies, eggnog, apple cider, snack food and Tums for all the gas. :-) About a half hour after eating, I would be sound asleep on the couch as the tryptophan in the turkey always knocked me right out! I always avoided stepping on any scales for a few days after the holidays, as I knew that I would not be happy!The food was significant in that it represented family togetherness. My ex-spouse was an excellent cook, and the turkey was an all-night affair for her, which was not really nice. She would be dead tired on Christmas day from all the cooking and baking from the night before, as the pies, cookies, stuffing etc. did not come out of a box, but were made from scratch. Having grown up on a farm, food represented comfort and a way of expressing love to our family.Today…I might order Swiss Chalet chicken, or bring in Chinese food, or perhaps nothing at all. My partner is from a part of Europe where the big holiday is New Year’s Eve. Christmas has no meaning for her, and even though she tells me I can eat what I like…I know she will not likely join me (always watching her diet), so I don’t bother as I am not one who likes to eat alone, especially during the holiday season.Still, remembering the smells and tastes of those “feasts” of years ago brings back very pleasant memories!