Would you forgive a cheater?
From my experiences, if he's truly sorry for what he's done, then it's possible you could forgive him; but if he has no remorse, you will never get over it, and you will always wonder if he's cheating again. My experience is the latter. My wife says it was only texting, emailing, and phone calls; it was never sex, and only once did they ever meet face to face for just a few minutes when he was passing through our town. But to me, it broke the trust factor that I've had for over 23 years. I was still willing to try and work to regain the trust, because I've always believed a marriage is forever. But because she continues to say she feels no remorse, and she thinks she did nothing wrong, after 18 months of trying to work past this issue, it just isn't happening. So now we're filing for divorce.
Would you really forgive your child no matter what they were to do?
To me, forgiveness means accepting wrongdoing occurred and coming to a place of being at peace with it so in that regard I think that yes I would really forgive them no matter what they were to do. Forgiveness is not something we do for the person who did something wrong, we do it for ourselves so that we don’t stay stuck growing bitter and resentful living a half-life where the wrongdoing taints everything else in our life. Forgiving them does not mean condoning their wrongdoing and it doesn’t mean there will be no consequences for it either, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to give them the same privileges you extended them before and it doesn’t mean you can’t put in place boundaries to prevent it happening again. If it were something truly horrific that they had done I think I would have a harder time forgiving myself than them.
Could you ever forgive your teenage child if they tried to hit you during an argument?
I don’t have a teenage son, though someday I probably will.If they tried to hit me in an argument, it wouldn’t even be a question.Yes, I would forgive them.That they felt the need to hit me would spark a deep, deep, deep introspection into the doubtless warranted aggression they felt towards me.Obviously, I did something really, really wrong.I’d examine that. Truthfully.And I’d change it.It’s my job. I’m the parent.
How do you forgive someone that killed your child?
If it's unintentional and they truly regret it I could probably forgive them. If it were something idiotic like drunken driving they would face a higher standard as to whether I forgave them,but unlikely. If it were someone who murdered my child I would let them know they were forgiven by driving a 33" steel blade through their body,best for them if the Police keep them for the rest of their life in that case,because it would end the moment I had the opportunity. AD
Should you forgive your father for hitting you when you were a child?
Ugh.. this is so freaking hard to even touch. Yes, because it's an expression of empowerment over his awful actions.No, because if he's an unrepentant a%^hole he will feel “off the hook” for what he did.Yes, because this is about YOUR feelings -and you deserve to be free from his crap.No, because if you heal it makes the impact of his abuse seem less important.Yes, because only you truly live with the aftermath of your experience and healing.No, because forgiveness is scary AF. We know what fear and resentment and pain and betrayal feel like. What's a post-forgiveness life going to look like?Yes, because you're stronger than scary things.No, because f$%k the people who never went through it who want to beat you over the head with God and being a “good person” expecting forgiveness from you.Yes, because you've proved your strength already. You survived, you've carried it around, you've wrestled with it. You've done your time. Now you can set it down and live the life YOU'VE built- not the crap that was handed to you.You deserve that freedom.Yes.
How could you as a parent forgive your own child if they murdered their sibling?
Reading this question, I understand how fortunate I am to be not in this position. So far.The same cannot be told for the many other unfortunate families where family members kill one another.They are on news now and then and most often my understanding is that there are deeper issues than what you see on the surface of the news.Like what if a child murdered the sibling? Why would a child do that? What motivates a child to murder the sibling ? What did the sibling do to the child? Was the problem with the child or the sibling? Or was it the parent who was the problem? Or maybe someone else outside the family ? The questions are endless.How could I as a parent forgive in such a circumstance where extensions of myself, my child, murdering my another child ?I really do not know. Maybe I will need professional help to come back alive into this world?Maybe it will take a lifetime to forgive my child ?Maybe I could forgive easily, accept and heal my child from the self-inflicted trauma?Maybe I can never forgive and I forget that I had a child who could murder?Maybe I will mourn lifelong the death of two children?Maybe I will forgive both for what they did to one another?Maybe I will beat myself up and cease to live?Or maybe I will live and forgive myself?A parent could do anything.Everything depends on the circumstances of the murder.And on the personality of the parent and the children involved.And the help they might receive to move on.Hope as a parent I will have all the strength to move on in such a worse scenario.God bless all who are in the situation you have described.Thank you, Brent Deer for your question.
Is there anything your child could do that you would not forgive them for?
No. I will not always like or even support my child's actions , nor would I ever condone illegal or harmful behavior. But , I do not honestly think there is anything he could do that would cause me to stop loving him. Of course , this is also a difficult answer as no parent can properly in vision such terrible things being done by their child. I think even in the worst of situations , even if I hate what he did , or even cease contact because of it , I would still claim him as my son , because he is. I would still love him , and grieve for the loss of who I known him to be. He will always be my son .
Would you be able to forgive someone who hurt your child?
Wow. That's a tough one. As a Christian I am called to forgive just as Christ forgave me. If He can forgive me for my wrongs, I can forgive others for theirs. But I can't say I'd forgive immediately. It would take a LONG time. And I certainly would never forget and just because I forgive doesn't mean that person is off the hook. They WILL be punished. But yes I would forgive them because that is what God expects of me. I think of it like this: Jesus forgave the very ones who hung Him on the cross. If He can forgive them I can find it in my heart one day to forgive others no matter what they did. I wouldn't hold it against someone who couldn't forgive though. Those are difficult things to forgive.
Do parents always forgive their children?
Nothing my children do is unforgivable. I may not feel like forgiving some things, but I will do it regardless of my feelings. And yes I will love my children no matter what they do or say. If God willingly forgives me of my screw ups (and there have been some doozies) without holding them over my head, then I must and will do the same for others. Especially my husband and my children.