Am I Even An Attractive Guy

Why do some guys have no confidence even if their attractive?

Your description of this guy sounds really similar to how I used to be. I'm not entirely sure what caused my lack of confidence. I was one of the kind of weird socially awkward kids and was bullied until around 3rd grade which might have played some role now that I think about it. I never really put myself out there until high school (all guys high school) and when I did I started making more friends and gaining more confidence in general and stuff but still wasn't confident in myself with women. Then I started putting myself out there more with women and found that there were women who appreciated me which helped a ton. I liked this one girl and she showed interest in me and that was a real turning point in my whole outlook on myself.

I think never having any women interested in me before was a factor, but that was of course my own fault to a certain extent because I never really tried. I used to be a little fat also, so that didn't help. Losing weight was another confidence boost.

I think your showing interest in this guy, not even really with compliments but just showing that you like talking to him and being around him would be the best thing to boost his confidence. He does sound like one of the good guys (I feel arrogant saying it but I was a good guy too). I wouldn't call my past dark, but I only had 4 really close friends in middle school, but once I hit high school I changed for the better. You don't have to watch out for him just because he's a little more reserved. There are other signs that go along with the crazies.

Dating a guy I don't find attractive.?

If you aren't attracted to him physically, you will never be able to bring yourself willingly to the more advanced stages of relationship, like intimacy and sex, and even if you Do, you'll feel terrible afterward, which spells doom. You would literally be depriving him of the chance to find someone who WAS attracted to him, out of fear of being labeled "Shallow".

I understand that you don't want to continue dating good-looking bastards, but there ARE men out there that are good-looking AND sweet (I should know, I married one!)

I would break the news to him gently but firmly, and tell him that you are very sorry but after some thought, you simply aren't interested in him anymore as a boyfriend and that it would be best for him to find someone else.

Do NOT make the mistake of thinking that offering to be his "friend" will ease the blow or make him less upset. If you stick around him all the time after the breakup, his healing process will be at a standstill, because he will still have feelings for you. You need to break off communication with him after breaking up with him so he can more quickly move on to another woman. It's harsh, but ultimately it's what's best for you both.