What programming language is the best for the laziest programmer (If they existed)?
C#. I use VB.Net which is involves a lot of extra typing.
What is the better programming language to learn, COBOL or Java?
Take COBOL. It's presence is dying, but if you're interested in demand, there are unique opportunities working in mostly legacy systems maintaining programs. If you are actually passionate about your field you will avoid legacy systems altogether, but it's still a unique opportunity. It's not everyday you come across a class in programming in COBOL. Java courses are held any and everywhere and are rather easy to teach. Good luck. (Better yet, if you get a chance. Learn a truly oldschool mind-blowing language like LISP or Scheme. These are languages that will open and expand your possibilities. You will never have issues learning other languages if you do so.)