How should I deal with my father-in-law's excessive interference and domination over my personal life and marriage if my husband supports him instead of me?
Such a great question!It can be really hard when we have a father-in-law that is overstepping boundaries and getting in between you and your relationship. As a result, this can cause a lot of tension and arguments in your relationship.When we first think about getting married, the idea of joining two families together is very exciting. You can't wait to say "I do" and officially have new parents who you want to call "mom and dad".Unfortunately, not everyone is able to experience a joyous blending of two families and often find themselves frustrated and angry at certain aspects and interactions with their in-laws. This can be very hard to deal with, and disappointing.When in-laws start to become a negative aspect of your life, that is when it is getting toxic. Relationships with in-laws are quite complicated. Every family is different in terms of the type of relationship people have them, but the idea of acceptance seems to be common throughout.If people have good relationships with their in-laws, they should consider themselves lucky! However, that’s not the story for many people.It’s important to be able to spot the signs of having toxic in-laws so you know how to address the issue.Signs of Toxic In-Laws1. They are overly involved in your decisions2. They try to turn you and your significant other against you3. Your privacy as a couple is not respected4. They say negative things about you to your significant other5. They ignore you6. They make insulting commentsHere are some solutions on how you can manage your in-law:1. Always remember that you and your significant other are a team2. Both you and your spouse address issues to your own parents; don't confront the in-laws3. Take appropriate space when needed4. Set boundaries5. Don't insult your in-laws in front of your spouse; be respectfulNo matter what, it’s important to remember that you and your significant other are a unit, and should be united together as your own family. It’s important to take care of yourself if you have an in-law that is causing frustration, which ultimately helps protect the relationship from harm that could arise if you did not take steps to address it appropriately.I actually created a video related to your question. I think it will be helpful in terms of going into detail about ways you can manage your father-in-law. Feel free to check it out when you get a chance. :)
What is the best way to block phishing calls in India?
Old school stuff worked for me. Even if you have true caller, it doesn't matter much. Some background to what I'm going to outline: My telco back in india is Vodafone and me and my family have been with them pretty much from back in the day of BPL, so we sort of get preferential treatment given the long customer relationship.My mother and father started getting similar calls back in 2012–2013, and every time we ended up blocking one number, they used to get a call from a new unknown number. Callers used to say there from CBI (Investigation agency, not the bank, what a joke), LIC, EPF Board (lolwut?) New India Assurance, etc and used to give similar pitches for account number details and all. The Vodafone guys helping us traced the calls and figured out that these are usually illegal call centers with terrestrial links outside india, that bounce calls off India located switching circuits, hence the mobile telco is at a loss since they don't control the said circuits.This went into situations where I either used to try to bore the callers, or they used to start abusing to no end when they realized that they aren't getting anywhere.Long story short, this is what we did: got a letter from the telco stating the issue and their inability to help. Went to the cops and booked a case against unknown people for violating provisions of the Telegraph Act (illegal and national security issue to bounce calls, guaranteed action), and sent an email to the TRAI greivance cell. Given the fact that this was under the telegraph act, it got some serious level attention and from what I learned 3 weeks later, some Givt agencies tracked these people and raided two places from where these calls were originating. They arrested and booked the call center owners, operators and shut down 7 or 8 illegal routing circuits. AFAIK, the calls have stopped and no recurrence yet :-) and the call center owners are contemplating a long hard look at reality from behind bars.Not saying a similar approach may work for you, but this is like a silver bullet solution
Is it rude to text at a restaurant?
I wanted to know if it was rude to text or talk on the phone when the waitor/waitress brings out your food? I see people texting a lot at a restaurant or a lot so I wonder if its rude to do in front of the waitor/waitress even when the server is not talking to you?
How do I make my husband see my mother-in-law's true personality?
This sounds real crazy. I wouldnt offer any advice but I d tell you what i would do to protect my dignity.Start working. However small or big the salary is join something. This will give you a direction to be independant & to divert your mind away. Remember, this might create more problems for you from your MIL but this would help stand on your legs when there is no hopeIgnore your MIL. I repeat. Dont let her get you. Your feelings thoughts and emotions are internal to you. Dont let external factors affect you. Start meditatingIf your husband is a nice guy. Start loving him without any expectations. He will slowly love you back and without asking he would start shielding you. ( unfortuantely this would take time and high level of patience from you)Tell your friends about the situation and be ready for emergency help. With a single message or call.Dont be alone. Learn some hobby and entertain yourself. This is one way you can make her jealous. Negative people wont like if someone is content and happy before themLive for yourself. Find the ultimate happiness in spreading joy in whatever way you likeDont worry about others. If they are listening to a third person and forming opinions about you they are not worth knowing you. Just keep going the way you naturally are and slowly they’ll come around.I have a feeling that your husband is already aware of his Mother’s attitude. Thats the only reason he is giving deaf ear. Otherwise he would equally get curious to know whats going wrong.A friend of mine has come out of an unhealthy relationship and she constantly inspires me with her fervour(by making a choice at age of 24 to file a divorce) courage and compassion(does volunteering at orphanages and animal welfare). She tells me Hardships are given to people who have the courage to withstand them and emerge as winners. She is grateful for this life and its virtuesShe was and is a winner to me. Never let anyone tell you what you are and what you arent capable of. Believe u are a self sustaining power. Trust your instincts. If your husband doesnt cater for your safety happiness and trust i dont see a future there.Lots of prayers and courage to you. Please let me know if you want someone to talk to & unload burden.
What happens if you ignore a person with BPD after a discard?
It is perhaps the most difficult part of the mindbending experience for a “normal” partner to process and that is the lack of object constancy part and the emotional memory loss part. By sharing experiences, your heart and mind became connected to your partner and natually you assumed he or she was doing the same. Its the cruelest part of the experience to learn that due to your partners untreated mental illness that was not the case. It was a one-sided love connection that you assumed was two-sided.All the love signs were there. All the soulmate love words were there but there was no real connection. Prior to this experience you probably did not know that such people existed in the world so it never crossed your mind that your partner was this kind of ill.With emotional memory loss, no object constancy, no bonding, no real love and upside-down reality depictions its easy for that untreated BPD person to move rapidly from one partner to the next. For the “normal” partner it is going to take a period for your brain to process what this was, what it wasn’t and to heal from that horrendous psycho-like encounter.Often in the final chapter all kinds of extremely, off-the-charts nasty things are said by the untreated BPD partner cycling to devalue and destroy. In the untreated BPD partners world he or she was probably projecting/gas lighting depicting you as the ill person with BPD. Its going to take some time for you to disengage from that craziness and refind yourself as the good person you were before this hurricane came along. Take a break and begin to rebuild your confidence again. Forgive yourself for not knowing of the existence of such persons.Let your mind heal itself. Hopefully thats what will begin to happen once to stop engaging with that upside-down crazinesses that can seriously harm you. Good luck.