I want to go to a party, but my parents are really controlling and strict Muslims. How can I trick them into letting me go? I am going to drink, and I'm not sure if I should sneak in or sleep outside. I am old enough to drink and living with my dad.
I am going to “presume” if you are old enough to drink it means you are of age to be considered an adult. Hopefully, you are not in one of those states where that age is less than 18.If you are an “adult”, you are responsible for your own decisions. However, if you are still financially dependent on Dad . . . then you need to obey his rules if you cant’ convince him otherwise. And that really sucks if you can’t convince him.However, if you are contributing to the household, whether financially, by doing the chores/cooking/cleaning, or both . . .then you have certain “rights as a contributor to the household and being an adult. He’s never going to understand that; you can bet on that.So you are going to have to stand up to him and FOR yourself. It might not be pretty . . . but he may surprise you. Just be firm .. . if he doesn’t handle it well. . . then he doesn’t handle it well . . . you just have to handle the heat from him. But you can do that if you put your mind to it.You also have the problem, as you know of him being strict religiously and culturally. That’s a tough one . . . not only for Muslims, but for parents and children of Christians and Jews as well. It all comes down to you standing up for yourself.
How do I help my best friend cope with strict and controlling parents the hard way?
Not a lot. They are the parents, and if your friend is still underage and living in their house, they are the authorities there.You might be able to soften them a little, (a very little, over time), in order to help your friend do something special. Visit their home. Be respectful, polite, interested in them. Do it several times in the weeks leading up to the event. Then, casually in conversation, mention the event as something you are looking forward to. Leave it at that. A couple of visits later, mention it again. Talk about what a great experience it will be, maybe any educational benefits available there. Then, ask your friend’s parents if they would consider allowing your friend to go to the event with you.They may say no. But if you accept their refusal with good grace, you will still be able to visit. After the event, show them photos of what you did and let them see that it really was a worthwhile event.It may make the next time you ask have a better outcome.Some people take a lot of buttering-up.
Do you hate your parents for being strict and controlling?
Well, it's obvious isn't it? We hate our parents. Most do. This is the age.. teenage! Our parents are strict.. they are controlling. Hence, we hate them. I would be lying, if I said I don't.But there's a twist in the story ..I accept thatI hate their ways,I hate that they think I still need to be controlled,I hate it that they don't let me do most things my friends are allowed to do,I hate that they don't even keep the modem switched on through the night when I need it,I hate that they still monitor where I go and what I do,I hate it that they even try to control my social life,I hate it that they object to most of the things I do,I hate it when they judge my friends,I hate it that they don't even let me have enough pocket moneyI hate that they think at this age they need to tell me that doing drugs is bad, thanks to Crime Patrol episodes!I hate it that they think if I get a costlier mobile, then I will be spoiledI hate it that they think my sister and I are worst kids on Earth, even though we don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or even stay out late.Well, likewise I could go on and on.. about the stuff that they do that I hate.But, the thing, the twist, is now I am 21 and am suddenly realising that what I am today, the kind of people my sister and I didn't turn out to be, is kinda so much better than the people I meet on a daily basis. And I m really grateful for that. To my parents.Yeah I used to hate them till atleast beginning of college. Now even though that hatred is on low, still there are times when I feel broken especially when they accuse me of doing stuff that I have a never ever done or abusing me with harsh words, but I am at that phase of life, where I analyse what's going on, hence, I don't hate on them now.I know there are many people out there, dealing with this kind of parents. I have just one thing to say. They think that this type of parenting works! Most times, these parents had this kind of parents themselves. They think that being harsh with the kids or not letting them do most stuff or doubting on them, will keep them in check. Well, you can't change this thinking. And nor should you hate your parents for the same. Talk to them. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes..well, it doesn't. But no harm in trying. :)I know this answer seems pretty hodge podge, I really didn't know how to deal with this. Hope some find this relateable.Peace out!
Controlling parents?! im 19?
it pisses me the eff off when im out with my friends they will call a million times to check up on me if its past 12 my dad has to come pick me up they don't let me date!! i just ugh i can't take it anymore i love my mom and dad sooo much but they are always so worried about everything my moms excuse is she doesn't want me walking home late all alone what do i do? NONE of my friends parents do this i am home from college for 2 more months and really want to go out
My dad is controlling?!?!?
my dad is really controlling. like the following: I am not allowed to pick out my own clothes I can only go to my friends house once a week I get a new phone next month and its comming with a GPS trackking system (seriously wtf) He check my yahoo profile to see my status I cant have a facebook or a myspace Not allowed to get my permit cant paint my nails cant wear makeup cant get a scene hair cut because it takes 20-25 min. to do it in the morning even though i am willing to wake up to early to do it By the way I'm 15!!!!!!!! NOT 5! My dad just made this new roll which is the one where he chooses my clothes. I had enough and I said okay and just walked out. I havnt talked to him since and I'm not going to unless he stops treating me like I'm a toddler. When I do decide to talk to him...what should I say? and how do i persuade him to stop treating me like this? thnks So my dad just made a new r
Why are my arab parents so controlling?
I'm a 21 years old arab (muslim) woman, and I have come to a point in my life where I feel stuck and suffocated. From very young childhood, I used to be a very good student, which my father was proud of, but my mom always kinda despised it silently. I was very hardworking (Alhamdullilah), 2 years ago I got accepted in the second best engineering school in my country(France). But it meant moving out from my parents. They just refused it, without discussion, and told me the local school was "good enough" for me, and I should pursue islam before my selfish desires. I fell into deep depression ever since. My whole life was dedicated to studying. I didn't have any interest in partying, meeting boys or making myself sexy or attractive. All I wanted was just to work harder, I felt so happy and balanced. For now, the pressure put on arab women still follows me everyday. I got many job opportunities in other cities/abroad, but I have to turn them down and take the "average" job that I can reach from my house. I can't meet friends often. Whenever I ask my parents to go and meet friends (yes, I'm 21 and I still have to ASK), I need to have a detailed plan of where I go, and come home before sunset, or my mom would call me a sl*t/wh**e. I really love and respect my parents, but this is too much. I know if I go away, my parents will never talk to me anymore (seriously). Even though I am a very practicant muslim, I'm afraid of falling into haram if this goes on... I feel helpless. I
What to do about controlling parents?
Hi, My dad & stepmom are very controlling people. I'm 21, nearly 22 and nearly finished my law degree. Because I'm only working part-time at the moment (and studying law I really can't work more than 1 day a week), I definitely don't have enough money to move out yet (but plan on doing so probably a year or two after starting full-time work). Examples include: - Controlling about how I use my money (I've saved up and am traveling to the west coast of the US soon, but they get REALLY angry about it and insist I do everything with reputable tour groups and never walk around anywhere without a guide) - Controlling about my part-time work (they insist they can support me and don't want me to work so I can focus on studying, despite having a first class honors (A+) average) - Controlling about how much time I spend with my girlfriend (we might have 2 dates or study sessions a week) (by the way, her parents are twice as strict as mine, so we definitely understand each other!!!) - Controlling about my safety, almost to the point of extremes (banning public transport, banning lots of neighborhoods etc) - Controlling about my stuff (eg banning me taking my phone, laptop, nice clothes etc when I travel) Any practical tips on how to deal with parents like this? I want to be more independent, but they often laugh at anything I tell them.
How can I deal with extremely strict parents as a 24 year old?
From your answer below, I have some suggestions for how you can loosen the rules a little bit but stil maintain the positive relationship that you want with your family.Next time you have plans to go out and your mother says that you're too tired, respond with, “Actually, I feel great. I'll see you when I get back.”Walk quickly to the door and leave before you can get sucked into an argument with her. Act normal and happy, like nothing is wrong. If you're unable to leave quickly and she says something like, “I'm your mother and if I say you're too tired than you're too tired!” Maintain your positive vibe and say, “What a funny thing to say!” Then walk away.If she tells you to do a specific chore, just say, “I'm not going to do that right now.” Read Herman Melville’s Bartlby the Scrivner for tips.If she says “I thought I taught you to respect your elders!” Say “I do respect my elders.”If she says, “you're not respecting me right now.” Say, ”Why do you say that?”If she says, “respecting someone means doing what they tell you to do,” say, “so if you told me to jump off a bridge, I should do it?” Make ample use of the laughing and walking away technique. It always you to seem like you're joking and it makes your response not seem rude.Your mother has trained you into a specific kind of relationship with her. She has learned she can guilt and bully you into doing what she wants. You can retrain her, but you will need to resist the feeling of “guilt” that she has trained you to feel. She will be confused that her old tactics aren't working, and will try even harder to control you, but you need to resist. That won't be easy, but you need to gain some independence, for your own sanity. Respond to her with compassion, good humor, and patience, but do not explain yourself, get upset, or give in. Good luck.