My parents are controlling my life, and I'm almost 20 years old.?
Hi there, so I would seriously appreciate any input, because I feel stuck, and I am at a loss for knowing what to do, and I need some unbiased, objective opinions on what I should do. So, I'm a 19 year old full time college student and part-time worker. I'm extremely dedicated to school, and make good grades. I live with my parents in order to pay for college, but they completely control everything I do, and my mother harasses me in forms of calling me names like slut, whore, etc. in order to make me feel guilty for being with my boyfriend. Here's the story, which I'll try to shorten as much as possible since it can only be a certain length. This has been a problem since before I got with my boyfriend, but it's gotten worse because of him. They used to be able to track my phone and would go nuts if for some reason they couldn't track it. I've been banned from seeing my boyfriend on and off, and I used to never be able to go to his house. I moved out with him for a short period of time after being kicked out by my parents with no car and a part time job, but I had to move back in for financial reasons and to pay for college. All the time I was gone, I was continually harassed by my mom over text. Since then, I got my own cell phone so they can't track me, and I am trying to save for a car to attempt to build some independence. I stayed out a little late the other night with my boyfriend, and I am now banned from seeing him. Again. I really need some help
I'm almost 40 years old and my parents still try to control my life...I need advice.?
i wouldnt go to dinner. move change jobs and anything to stop them treating you like a baby.
20 years old with controlling parents?
I get where you are coming from and know how frustrating it can be however, you are more a kid then you are an adult, you are only 20 and not a grown woman. Your brain isn't even fully developed until you are 25. The fact that you still live in your parents house; are still financially supported by your parents and I'm guessing don't contribute anything to live there?! You are still dependent on your parents and you are still their child and the fact that you live in their house means you still need to respect their rules and that includes not sleeping over at your boyfriends house. Although it might be nice having them support you one of the consequences is forfeiting your independence. I think your mother asking for list and to know in advance what you are doing is a bit much, but like I said above to a certain extent you kind of need to ad-hear to her rules if you don't want to be financially cut off and kicked out. You can sit down with your mother and tell her that you can appreciate where she is coming from, she is your mother and she will worry about you until the day she dies, but this asking for a list and time lines of what you are doing is too much. Tell you two can't go on like this and she needs to back off a bit. Tell her what she is asking is a bit unrealistic. Tell her you don't always know where for sure you are going; where you'll end up or who all is going. If she insists on a list and time lines just give her the same one every time and if she say something, remind her what you said before that you don't always know what you'll be doing and where.... but the sleeping over at your boyfriends, don't do it!
I'm 19 years old almost 20 parents are OVER CONTROLLING? Am I wrong to resent them?
I'm 19 years old and I feel like my parents (specifically my mom) try to control every aspect of my life. From what I wear, to my curfew (which is 10:30), down to my EYEBROWS..If I do my eyebrows in a different way than SHE wants them to be she will curse and scream at me, she won't leave a single cussword in the dictionary out. This really frustrates me and makes me want to kill myself. She always curses the fact that she ended up with a daughter who was a girly girl rather than someone who pays no attention to their appearance at all. She hates that I want to do my eyebrows, do my hair, and dress up nicely etc.. She calls me "sick" because of it. I'm also extremely flat chested and this affects my self-esteem immensely. She claims that I'm "sick" for that as well and blames me for pretty much everything. She practically DOESNT BELIEVE in going out and enjoying yourself thats why she HATES it when I go out and has imposed a 10:30 curfew on me. I have worked all year in university and my grades are NO less than A's and B's and i feel that I deserve to enjoy my summer by spending time with my friends etc. But I can't help but feel GUILTY everytime I go out and CONFINED everytime i have to come back at 10:30 on the dot while the rest of my adult friends do as they please. Also, I have a 3 year old baby brother and I assume the responsibility of taking care of him most of the time. I find that I am taking care of him a great portion of every day, this can be a big burden and i feel the NEED to go out once he finally goes to sleep. I feel like I am an Adult and i can't STAND it when my mom controls my every move and treats me like a 12 year old. My mom should have NOTHING against me other than the fact that she doesn't think i'm the cleanest person (which i will admit to) although she blows that WAY out of proportion as well. but ANYWAY, she should have NOTHING against me? I do what is asked of me ALWAYS, i'm very obedient, I take care of my baby brother so much, i get good grades, i stay out of trouble...and yet I'm treated like a caged animal and with such disrespect always being cursed at and screamed at... so basically my question is WHO is wrong in this situation? Don't i have every right to resent what my parents are doing? I am asking this because It seems that my mom hates me SO much that I can't possibly be doing ANYTHING right? This is the way she treats me.
Advice on controlling parents? Im 20 years old?
my parents are very controlling. All through high school i have always done what i was told and i pretty much had no life. I go to college but i commute from home so i still have my parents always there. Im really not a bad person i just started drinking a little while at parties, and im still a virgin. Everytime there is a party going on i dont even want to talk to them about it because they just make me feel guilty. Its either "too late" or any other excuse they can think of. I HATE IT they make me feel like a horrible person, and the only way i can go out is by going against what they say and that makes them even more mad. Im very responsible, i always have a friend with me and im usually the driver so i dont drink. Theres a guy i like and he is spanish, i have to lie to them and say there is nothing going on between us because im afraid they'll kick me out or something. I hate having this kind of relationship with my parents.. What Can I DOOO!!!!! i need some advice to let my parents let go of me a little. Im almost 21 and they control everything
Why are my parents controlling me like this when im almost a 20 year old adult?
If you want freedom, then move out...go to college, get in the dorms, or find an apartment. If you live at home, then respect the rules of the landlord/parents. The only exception I would make are abusive relationships...either direction. Having said that, I understand suffocating parental guidance...especially those from a faith based system. As a dad, in a home that raised two boys up under a Faith Based Homeschool environment...I understand all to well how "Legalistic" things can get. We loosened up, but now we are experiencing a bit of the opposite as we have a 20 year old son taking advantage of us. Maybe you and my son can link up and get an apartment...sounds like you both have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders, but that some distance in the Parent/Child relationship is perhaps needed at this point?
What to do about a controlling parent? I'm 19 years old I need a way out?
I'm really sorry for your situation. But we can't really do anything until you get a decent job so you can live alone. So, try to play the game with your Mom. Be a little ***** and do as she says, while thinking to yourself "Wait, Mamma, you will never see me after I get a job!" Make faces at her when she is not looking and smile at her when she is looking. Make fun of it!! And concentrate on getting a good job. Spend more time studying, so you'll get better grades and a better job.
My parents are too controlling. I am 20 but they treat me like a child. I have serious rows with them. I still love them but how can I make them realize that I have grown up?
Its a hard question to answer without examples.SHORT ANSWERThe day you have truly become an adult will arrive when you realise that your parents treating you like a child no longer bothers you.LONG ANSWER.If you act like an adult, and you treat your parents like adults, eventually the relationship may become an adult one. First point, if you are living with parents rent free, then they are well within their rights to demand (within reason) that you behave in ways that fit in with their lifestyle for the duration of your tenancy. If you want to be treated as an adult they don't owe you anything now that you're 20, you are their guest. I suggest that its not reasonable to pick and choose when you are treated as a child purely based on your own preferences (i.e. accepting laundry service, dinners and a roof over head, but not giving any say on how you dress or spend your time).If you are financially independent, and live your own life, then its a different situation.If you have serious rows with your parents then either you are they are acting like children. Its more likely to be you acting like a child given the historic relationship. Your acting like a child is likely to reinforce their tendency to treat you like one. This can be a bit of a vicious circle.I suggest that next time they try to "control you", assuming that you don't want to do whatever it is that they are asking of you, simply politely but firmly explain that you will not do the thing that they want. Don't make a deal out of it, and don't justify your position unless explicitly asked to do so by them in an adult manner. If you are asked to explain simply state you are doing as you see fit. If they say they don't like your choices acknowledge that you understand that, without changing your position. If they start shouting at you ask them why they are shouting. Don't shout back.