Ask a question

Am I Being Selfish Or Not

Am I being selfish about my hair?

Elmbeard gave an excellent answer but I feel compelled to answer as well because I had a similar personal experience. My hair has been long pretty much my entire life and much like you I often got compliments on it. Once my math teacher left a note on my desk saying "" and after class she cornered me and gave me a ten minute speech on why I should donate my hair. I thought this was very creepy and that she way overstepped the boundaries as what anyone chooses to do with their hair is a PERSONAL DECISION. I love seeing other girls with gorgeous well-maintained long hair (it takes too much effort for most people and anything longer than breast length seems to be not so trendy/common) and I certainly hope you do not consider cutting it off out of guilt! If you want to cut it that's fine but definitely do not feel selfish for wanting to keep it. Are people with short hair considered selfish for not growing theirs out to donate it? The entire concept of you owing anyone anything for simply having long hair is ridiculous.

Why should we not be selfish?

It's good to being selfish…when there is a talk of self development and self care!!There are only a limited amount of years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds in your life.If stay busy trying to make decisions that are based on not disappointing people,you’ll end up sacrificing everything that you want to go get in life so… do what you like! But if there's a any harm of feelings , money or whatever more than your happiness then stop it…because it's a not the way of being selfish and that's bad!! It's more than limit and every thing more than limit is bad!!In this way ,you will only see your benefits so there is nothing harmful!! But if only once someone feel bad about you…you will lost that person forever! You definitely get something good if you be selfish but you will lost the love from that person! And that's the only thing that keeps as alive! Make happy and bonding with each other!! If you being selfish you will be alone one day there is no one around you! Because everyone will know you that who you are and ultimately you will ruine your self by favouring only your self!!The happiness of giving is more than to take!!Be altruistic ! Get more love ! Be more happy!

Am I Being Selfish...?

I have two kids, 12 and 17. My boyfriend has a place of his own but stays with me every night, clothes are there, vehicle is there, etc. He doesn't have any kids but has a nephew, 9, who he treats like his kid. This kid is spoiled rotten being the only child of his parents, only grandchild of my boyfriend's parents, etc. My boyfriend insists on including him in everything we do and it bothers me. My b/f is very indifferent to my kids and treats the nephew like he hung the moon when they are together. My kids notice this treatment. I know that my b/f is going to insist on me putting up a Christmas stocking for the nephew along with his, mine, and my kids stockings. I feel like I'm gearing up emotionally for a huge fight. Should I just put up the stocking and avoid the fight? It will hurt my kids feelings if I do, and my b/f's feelings if I don't. Just a note...this kid gets, has, does kids aren't as fortunate because I'm divorced and barely make ends meet. Help!!

Am I being selfish with my fiancé?

My fiancé just finished her PhD over the summer. I've lived in the same town my whole life. My entire family is here. I'm not willing to relocate. She wants to teach at a university but there are only two in the local area. She can't get a job at either she's been trying for awhile now. She refuses to take any job until she can get in at either institution. She's been offered a position at a university 4 hours away. My company has a branch there so I could transfer there but I'm not comfortable with it. I do not want to be far from my family. I've asked her again if she'd reconsider and just stay here and try to find a different job. She feels like I'm holding her back. Should I end things? I'm not willing to move that far from family.

What is wrong with being selfish?

Selfishness is not always a horribly negative bad thing.

My best friend has "Selfish" tattooed on her. She is the least (conventionally) selfish person I know--generous with her home, food, rides, money, friendship, all of that. The only person in our 'circle' who will call and say "Hey, I'm picking up some food. Hungry?" and not expect anything in return.
So I asked her about it one day and she told me she considered herself selfish because she would never do anything that brought her anything besides happiness and 'emotional profit' for herself.
So yeah. I think she's right--life is too short to do anything besides what makes you happy ALL of the time, and if that's considered selfish, then.. oh well.

Am I being selfish for not wanting to care for an in law who has dementia?

Taking on the care of another human being who will eventually be completely dependent upon you is a huge commitment and undertaking. As the disease progresses, they may need constant supervision. I don’t think it is selfish to know your limitations.However, if your spouse is determined to care for their family member, they will need your full support. There are home health aides that can come to your home & take care of many of the responsibilities for the in-law. You may be able to find a happy medium with your spouse if you are able to get a home health aide.There is nothing wrong with placing your in-law in a home where there are those who are trained to care for people with dementia. You may be able to find a place close to your house, where your spouse can visit frequently.Either way, communication between yourself and your spouse is very important. You’ll need to come to an agreement that makes sense for everyone. Keep in mind that your spouse loves their family member, and may be feeling a lot of pain and/or guilt in making this decision.And remember, moving the in-law into your home does not mean that they will necessarily be there forever. You may be able to come up with a plan for the future, as to when criteria A,B or C would mean a re-evaluation of the nursing home idea. For example: when the in-law no longer recognizes your spouse, or when the in-law becomes unmanageable either regarding their own safety or the safety of others, etc.Here’s hoping you can find an arrangement that offers the best care for your declining in-law, peace of mind for your spouse, and creates a new understanding, loving bond in your family as a whole.

Am I being selfish? Evil maid of Honor?

I asked 3 friends to be my bridesmaids. I figured instead of making my bridesmaids and maid of honor wear a dress they didn't like I chose the color and told them to find a dress. My maid of honor didn't even bother looking. About 2 weeks ago my mom and bridesmaids all went out and picked out a dress. My maid of honor made a stink about because she didn't like the dress. We went to 6 different places and found her a dress that was a different style but the same color as the bridesmaids dresses. She told me she loved the second dress and she was ok with that... then proceeded to tell me she needs the receipt so that she can buy another dress and return this one. We are 3 weeks away from my wedding. I talk to my mom and we decided to take her out of the wedding. This morning I got a call from her mother asking me to reconsider because she is very "fragile" at the moment and she could have a "breakdown" and end up in the hospital if she isnt in the wedding. Am I being selfish or unfair???

Who exactly am I being selfish to for not having kids?

You are not being selfish, and you owe nobody any explanation. Whether or not you have children is entirely your choice; nobody else’s. Anyone who suggests you are being selfish in some way is being totally irrational and inconsiderate, and is not you!Choosing to become - or whether to become a parent is probably the biggest, scariest decision you will ever make. It means committing not just the next five, ten, twenty years of your life to a growing ‘little person’, but the rest of your entire life! If you have any reason for thinking that this may not be ‘for you’, then do not be pressured into it - that will create disastrous consequences not just for you but for your children.There is an awful lot of pressure out there to ‘have kids’. My wife and I have felt that pressure pretty much the entirety of our nearly thirty years of marriage, whether from family, friends, or (possibly well-meaning) strangers. “Oh, do you have kids?” seems to be inevitably followed by “Why NOT?” - as if there is something terribly wrong with one or both of us.In our case, biology got in the way - but I am often glad that it did. I have Asperger’s, and would hate for another child to go through what I went through as a child who was ‘different’. I also feel that my parenting skills would be extremely poor. On my wife’s side, she has in recent years had to cut all ties with her domineering, narcissistic mother; if we had children, they would have been in an environment involving the narcissist and dealing with all of the trauma and depression that comes from that!Of course, you might also consider the broader picture. The world’s population is still growing - any child you have would contribute to this growth. Would they also contribute to humanity’s ability to destroy our own planet? Worse, would they find themselves living on a planet that their parents and grandparents have destroyed? Or perhaps being ruled over by King Donald the Fourth, latest in the line of US hereditary monarchs since the government fell apart?Sorry, but any selfishness involved in your decisions about fertility or otherwise comes from those who think they have the right to suggest that you do anything other than what is right for you!You are not being selfish; anyone suggesting that you should do something other than what is right for you is being selfish, rude, egotistical, inconsiderate and downright unpleasant, and you have every right to call them on it.