Do I have a right to be angry at my parents for the way that they raised me?
Yes, you most certainly have a right. We are only given one set of parents after all. But, the sooner you pass through this stage of anger, the better - for you. In the end, you will be the one who suffers the most, not them!Often in life how we feel is not felt or reciprocated in the same way and with the same intensity by others. And, often (unless it was outright physical abuse) the ‘perpetrators’ may not even recognise that they have hurt you, or the harm they have done you is a silently recurring nightmare in your hopeless relationship. They will just wonder “Why do we have such a hard time communicating with John*? “Why does a nice day always go sour?” Especially if your upbringing was their cultural norm then, to themselves, they may think they are the best parents on earth! (In the meantime, you're still wallowing in self pity which is putting your life on hold).So, you have to come to terms with the resentment you feel for your parents and the consequent anger it is producing in your life each day. Anger is a toxic emotion and it is not something our minds and bodies were meant to endure for a long time.You will need somewhere you can vent your anger. If it is not with a professional then seek solace through a religious leader in your community, a trusting friend, a counsellor at university (especially if it's having a negative effect on your studies) anyone with whom you know will listen without judgment or bias and whos lips will be sealed and whose approach will be loving and patient.Now, each day you must arise with a forgiving heart toward your parents. Each time a memory or relapse into bitterness occurs say “They are my parents. I love them. They did not know their parenting was bad. I forgive them.” (Don't be surprised if in the next breath you ‘hate’ them again! The road to forgiveness and healing is a LONG journey. But remember…In the long run it will be YOU who will benefit the most!God bless.*John is a fictional name only.
Why does my mom get angry over the little things?
I'm a girl with a mom who has a bad temper. Here's the scoop: I feel like I've looked everywhere for my mom's "special" hot sauce, well literally too long to be looking for some s****y sauce that wasn't itself going to show up in the cabinet. So then i gave up and gave her a quick alternative. she said no this wasn't the right one. i then nicely explained to her that it wasn't in the place that she put it and then i said "why don't you go look for it yourself ." I guess that was a BIG mistake , because that's when she yelled at me saying something about how she "does everything for me and buys me all this s**t" all the while she's rummaging through the cabinet that i had just inspected. still no sauce. and then after that she elbowed me in my chest. i don't even know why she treats me this way. but i don't think she's being, whats the word...uh... reasonable. I don't think she even cares about anything i do for her. i even apologized and everything. she got so pissed over a bottle of hot sauce. who in their right mind does that!? truth is now I don't care if she found it or not, I'm so scared to talk to her and leaving my room is not an option. But this wasn't the only time she got angry. It's kinda hard to communicate with her all bitchy and mean. why does she do this?should i let it blow over or should i tell her how i feel? what can i do, HELP!!!she is so scary.
Do I have the right to at least feel angry when my mother yells at me even though she's right?
I wouldn’t blame you if you felt something. Are you sure it’s anger? Our feelings are often a complicated blend or cocktail of specific emotions. Maybe you feel threatened or afraid or ashamed when she yells. Your primitive brain is telling you ‘danger’ and ‘run away’ and ‘fight.’ But your rational mind is saying “She’s right.” She’s yelling the truth at you in an aggressive way, and you are feeling threatened because you don’t want to lose this fight.The best thing is to be like a martial artist and step aside from the attack and don’t make this a win/lose situation.I’m a tutor, and last week, I observed a mother attacking her 17 year old son for being wrong about something: drugs and partying. It was the classic stand off with him saying, “you did it when you were my age, and her saying “don’t make the mistakes I made when I was young.” And then saying, “what would you say to your little sister? Would you let her go to someone’s house and get drunk?”The boy saw that his mother was right and that he was losing the argument, but he still didn’t want to admit it. His last line of defense was that his mother had superior logic because she was older and more experienced with this kind of verbal fighting, and that he was at a disadvantage. He was implying that he was losing not because he was wrong, but because he lacked oratory skill. He was feeling overwhelmed not just by her logic but by the ferocity of her yelling.He’s confusing the two things: ferocity and reason. The mother was using ferocity to emphasize reason, like verbal punctuation. But the boy was distracted by the ferocity.Maybe you’re feeling the same way.Some families yell more than others. It can be hard to get used to. Some yellers need to learn to soften their speech. Some listeners need to learn to tolerate verbal punctuation and trust that they are safe. We all just need to learn to get along. Or not. It’s a matter of taste.
I always feel angry towards my mom... why?
I constantly feel mad at my mom. she doesnt listen to me when we have a conflict, she automatically is right, even when i have a reasonable solution. she is ignorant when it comes to my arguments, which i take time to make strong. and they are. i just wish i didnt act so bad towards my mom i see all my friends parents, and shes not like them. but i know im the problem, shes just being protective. i just think as a junior in high school seeing all my friends with these freedoms makes me hate my mom because she doesnt give those freedoms to me. but i drink and smoke weed and thats why im always in trouble. its wrong but i do it because i want to have a great social life in high school, and i feel shes making it harder since ive established such strong relationships with friends that do this kind of thing. why am i always short with my mom? I wish she would just leave me alone to my friends, ive thought about moving out so much! i hate thinking like that, i have it all wrong i know..
My mom read my diary and got very angry?
Your mom should have more respect for your privacy. She shouldn't have read it once she knew what it was. Next, she shouldn't have gotten upset. This is how you felt at the time. You mom needs to chill out, and take a pill. And no I am not a teenager. I am 52 years old. And I got in trouble for reading my step sisters diary when I was young. It is a personal thing. As I say, she should applogies to you for reading it.
Is it wrong to be angry with your mother?
Lady, you need to relax.Things like these are a normal talk in every family. You're over rating everything. Just chill,I know it's difficult but give it a try.You see every single thing has a solution but because of our anger we often fail to figure it out. You understand, and have seen from what your mother have been through,so her outcome to your anger is quite obivious. Moreover, your possessiveness towards your kids is also right. Being a mother how she take cared of you, you're doing the same for your children. You firstly need to realise the fact that she brought you up, and it's not a small talk. Her experience is much more than your's. But the fact that contradicts is you being a mother know, and gaining the same.Rather than battling with your mom,you should work as one in order to brighten the life of your kids.Now it's all upto you, how smartly you deal with it. Firslty buy some patience for yourself. You may even spend some time in peace, out form home, in a park or anywhere you feel like. Let your anger get destroyed. Meditate. This will help you. Once you're done with it, take your mother along to some good place. A quite one. Where there's no one all around to disturb you two, then talk. Let your mother pour her heart out and do the same. Hold her hands and express gratitude, be thankful to her for all thay she did for you. Thereafter very politely and nicely explain what you wish from her regarding your kids. You should be sweet enough to convince her. Explain her that she is right, but sometimes too many cooks spoils the dish. Tell her that you want your kids to be independent, and sincere. The kind your mother raised you. Nothing is this hard,honey. Guve enough space and time to you and your mum.Your mum is nowhere wrong, it just happens. With you growing on you are forgetting that she is also growing old. All you need is to.fix things peacefully. Old beings are more childish than kids. So you've to look after 3 people,your twins along with your mum.All the very best. I know you're a strong lady and will surely rule over the trouble.Smile always!Good luck. :)God bless. :).
Why do I get angry at my mother for no reason?
There’s a reason, you just don’t want to know the reason.Start writing down your dreams. Wake up in the middle of the night and write down whatever dream you remember. I did that and after a few nights I had a dream about the “Greatest mummy in the world in Egypt.” I also had a dream that my mother fell down and a fly came out of her mouth.I had a dream that she was selling five flattened babies at a garage sale. She said, “You don’t get into trouble if you report it to social services within 24 hours.”I realized I was angry at my mother. From my dreams it would seem that she had flattened us/me as a baby.In my baby book it says that she breast fed me for 2 weeks, then stopped. Ask a baby how that feels. Babies don’t like that at all. It feels like the mother has died.My father was upset the entire first year of my life, because his church was trying to fire him as a minister. It took them a year to fire him. My father yells when he is upset. My mother is depressed when she is upset. So it would make a lot of sense to realize that I was angry at my mother for emptying me out emotionally.I was her favorite, and I felt responsible for her. It was years before I realized I was angry at her.The same could be true for you, except that you already know you are angry at your mother. Your anger is probably a mood from infancy that your remember very well.
My mom is an alcoholic. Am I overreacting by getting angry at my mom for being drunk and crying while talking to me and my one-year-old baby on Skype?
Nothing is "wrong" for you to feel. In fact it is particularly sad that you can't share this time with your mother the way you should be able to. She could be a real help to you if she were well.But, as you probably know, an alcoholic or anyone in the grip of a spiritual disease has to admit they are powerless before they can begin to recover. What you may not know, is that the families of addicts and alcoholics have found many of the same devices used in AA and NA (fellowship meetings, twelve steps etc) help them also - but with a twist...The first step for you would be admitting you were powerless over your mother's drinking.Then the second step would be you coming to believe that you would be restored to peace as far as your mother is concerned. (The language and interpretation varies to suit your needs). You would probably get this step by talking with other people and seeing from their stories that they know what it has been like for you, and that you can see they are further along in the process than you.The third step completes the 'introduction' and it simply says that you make a decision to 'let go' of the approach you've been taking and instead try this new way. It's important and in truth may take time, because you will have second thoughts about changing the patterns of relationship that you have with your mother.But if you are really sick of the way your mom affects your life, that's my advice.The fellowship for family and friends of alcoholics is called Al-Anon. Here's the Wikipedia page about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-...Finally, please make sure you are talking with your family doctor regularly, and are in a mother's group. Post-natal depression is a serious phenomenon and you must put your health first for the sake of your wonderful baby.