Is it selfish if I want to leave my parents and move out on my own?
As Sara Booth noted in her answer, the answer to your question is going to depend greatly on your cultural context. My family bridged Bangladesh, the UK, and the USA. I felt a great deal of guilt moving out of my parents’ home (in Bangladesh) for university (in the US) and again for not returning (to my mother’s home in the UK) after I had earned my BA at 22.Your parents and siblings may perceive you as selfish. However, putting yourself first isn’t necessarily a negative thing. By leaving my birth family behind me, I have been able to accomplish much more in my life than I could have if I stayed. I am now raising wonderful 10-year-old twin daughters who know that when they decide to venture out on their own, they will have my full support to live their own lives.If you’re not able to live up to your potential in your parents’ home, it is more selfish for you to stay than to leave. However, are their social repercussions to leaving? How does your society view unmarried (I assume you’re unmarried) adults living away from their parents?This is not to say you won’t feel guilt. It has been 19 years since I left home. My younger sister was 7 when I left, and I still wonder what I could have done to make her life better. Perhaps if I had stayed closer to home or stood up more to my parents, I could have made her life easier. By the time I was in a financial position to bring her to live with me, choices that would limit her options in life had already been made. I live with that guilt by doing my best not to put my daughters in a similar position.I wish you the best of luck.
My family is always asking to borrow money. It annoys the hell out of my husband. What can I do to stop it?
*** Edit *** All of my first cousins, with the exception of me, my brother, and two other cousins, are unemployed, on drugs, or in jail. They are accepted as is. Those who do work rarely contribute to family events. My brother and I are usually the ones who are always willing to participate. But people assume we have money, especially me. I'm the target when it comes to wanting someone to bring something to an event or if someone wants to borrow money.
Are people who will not donate organs selfish? I am not talking about refusal due to religious beliefs or someone who can't because of a disease or such.
I am a little prejudiced here, but I have to say “possibly”. My teenage son needed a heart transplant due to Danon Disease. He had an enlarged heart and a heart beat that would race up to 350 beats a min. This led him to heart failure. If your son needed something that could save his life, and someone else had that very thing he needed and that they would not need or miss………yes, I’d say you are selfish. We later found out that he inherited the problem from me, and that in a female this condition doesn’t appear with symptoms until the 50s. I also needed and got a transplant. A very generous family who had just lost a child thought of others and donated his heart. I was the recipient shortly before they were going to give up looking for one for me becuase of high antibodies. My son received a heart when he was 19. He was able to graduate high school, go out with friends like a normal teen, joined a group that fed the homeless once a week, and became engaged. I have been able to retire with my husband of 45 years, see my older son get his doctorate, get married and have a grandson, who will now remember his grandmother.But, if I were someone who had never known someone who received an organ, I would probably say that your body is your body. No one can force you to donate after your death. Your family is usually the persons who make that decision if you die in an accident or other ways to make your organs transplantable. I still see the validity of that argument, but I guarantee you that I will donate any organ that I am able upon my death. My meds make me inelligible to donate a major organ but I can donate my eyes, skin and bones. And I will.As far as someone who answered this question saying that the operation for my heart affects any other medical care in the general population: baloney. I have two private insurance policies that I have paid for since I first began working 40 years ago. If I had not had the operation, the money would not have gone toward any public health issue. No tax money was used.Are you selfish? I think only you can answer that for yourself.
I have decided that I'm never going to tip a waiter in an American restaurant. Do you think I've made a good choice?
YES.I’m taking the less popular road here. I work for my money and expect others to as well. Nobody comes to my job and gives me an extra 20% just for showing up so why should you have to?If they don’t make minimum wage GET A BETTER JOB. it isn’t my job to supplement your wages and you will never convince me that it is. My job is payroll, tons of people get paid because of me. Why don’t they all have to tip me? Oh right, it’s my job.It’s a broken system but we don’t have the power to fix it. The power we do have is not to be compliant and give our money to people we don’t think deserve it. YOU as servers have the power to fix it but you don’t and instead you whine and blame the customers when your boss is the reason you think you need tips. Don’t work for peanuts, don’t take a job that’s less than your worth and certainly don’t blame me when you do because I make better choices than that so I do not empathize.Tipping is completely unnecessary otherwise all countries would have to do it. The restaurant owner is who is making all of the money and that’s whose job it is to pay your salaries. I frankly don’t care about the “innocent victims” of the tipping argument because nobody forces them to work in a tipping industry. The flip side is that if minimum wage is all they can get hired for it might be all they are worth. WHY THEN should they make more? Better employees are hired for more money, period. If you can’t get a better job you’re probably not worth more money.Also, the majority of you are incorrect in assuming your server doesn’t get paid if you don’t tip:“Federal laws states:The American federal government requires a wage of at least $2.13 per hour be paid to employees that receive at least $30 per month in tips.If wages and tips do not equal the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour during any week, the employer is required to increase cash wages to compensate.As of May 2017, the average hourly wage – including tips – for a restaurant employee in the United States that received tip income was $11.82.”Tipping is at the customer’s discretion. It is not mandatory and it is most definitely not immoral or illegal not to.
Mom is a selfish cow, help!?
Mom is the guilt trip queen. She guilt trips me about not comign to visit her often, and my plans to move four states away. (1) she always put men before my brother and I (2) no showed at my wedding she says because her new husband instigated a fight with her and convinced her not to go (3) I finally forgave her and am civil and invited her to my husband's military retirement ceremony which also invloves me (sort of a second chance thing to bond) She sent us a gift 4 months before saying in case you couldn't make it... Guess what she made an excuse and didn't. (4) She started a war with her brother's/ sisters built a privacy fence between her house and theirs pissed them off then left the house to rot which was the home I grew up in. (5) expects me to call the home she shacked up in with her husband instead of my wedding my home. I am tired, going to school and working full time. Does she need to pull her head out of her *** or what? They have not once visited us.
How do i convince my parents to move to los angeles?
You don't. Your parents are the ones that make the final decision on where they're going to live. If you want to move to LA, you can do it when you turn 18 and then come back and tell us how easy it is to live in one of the most expensive cities in the United States. So, if you're feeling depressed and don't even feel happy here, what makes you think that you won't be doing that once you move to Los Angeles? And considering you are only 14, you obviously don't know what it's like to: - Arrange everything for moving day (BIG PAIN in the ***!) - Having to have everything forwarded to your new address. - Having to take the time to arrange everything to activate: water, gas, electric, cable/internet installation, etc. And these are just the little things. - Having to find a job that will satisfy the requirements needed to live comfortably (in this economy, it's not that easy.) - Your parents having to say goodbye to all friends and family. - Having to get accustomed to a new lifestyle. You may think that it's as easy as 1, 2, 3 to move. But wait until you move out and live out in the real world and see how easy it is to maintain yourself. And no, it's not as easy as 1, 2, 3 to find a job here neither. Especially in this economy where jobs are close to almost nothing. Quit being selfish and be grateful that you even have a home. You can ask this as many times as you like. Just keep in mind that you are going to get the same answers every time.
Are most people selfish?
I believe most people (in the “Western world”) are selfish, and it makes me sad everyday just to know that almost nobody truly cares. People often tell me that I should not take the whole world’s suffering on my shoulders, and I understand what they mean, but I often reply: “Who will do it, then?”, because I feel deep in my heart that I have to. You can argue and try to convince me that what I am saying is not true, and that I do not have to do anything, but I would not agree, replying that it is my moral duty to care. I do not care about my own life to be honest - I have already done that for a relatively long time, so now I want to live for a cause: to make the world a “better” place, more liveable for all.The problem with being selfish, is that it leads to indifference, which is opposed to the concept of care. By being selfish, most people (in the “Western world) become indifferent, which means that they do not care about the rest of the world. I do not know anyone who is ready to dedicate her/his life to a cause - by “cause” I mean World Peace, general well-being, sustainable living, etc.Political, economic, sociocultural systems rest upon us - it is by living our daily lives as we do that the world has become such a horrible place. If we want to change the world, we have to change our routine and daily lives first. There is offer, because there is demand. If there is no demand, there will be no offer after a little while. Governments have for too long chosen how to allocate public budget and expenses without consulting their peoples. If our governments wage wars, if is because we allow them to do so, first by funding them, second by not raising our voice and not resisting.We, as taxpayers, are all indirectly responsible for most of the world’s atrocities, including genocides, wars, misery, human experiments and eugenics.When are we all going to realise that a radical change is required if we want to give next generations a world in which they can live happily and perhaps even in World Peace?! When are we all going to realise that we should start to change now before it is too late, and that this change starts with ourselves, our routine and daily life habits?Soon, I hope.Peace!
My mom keeps asking me for money even though I’m paying things for her already?
I’m 16 years old, and recently my paycheck has been cut due to the amount of hours I had to cut down for school. Especially with the hurricane coming through my next paycheck is about to be $80-$100 at the most since I don’t have any personal, vacation, or sick days. When my mom asked me how much I would get paid I told her. And she proceeds to tell me she needs $50 out of that money. I have a savings account and I’m trying to put money into it because this is my last year of high school, and depending on where I end up going I’m going to need some money. I make sure to at least take $50-$100 from each paycheck and deposit it onto my savings account. My mom says she already has paid for me back, but she hasn’t. Since my mom is under disability due to an accident she had, she really doesn’t make a lot of money, same with my dad, but he has a job, but he doesn’t make a lot. My mom and dad are married, but their relationship isn’t strong and my dad doesn’t really give her money, so my sister and I end up having to give money to my mom. Even before I had a job one time my dad didn’t pay the rent and I had to take money from my savings to help pay for the rent for that month. I even had to pay for other bills and things for the house when I didn’t have a job. Now that I have a job I pay for gas, I pay for some of the debts my mom has gotten such as tickets and her credit card. I also pay for the trash Service.