Is there a mental disorder that makes you want to be a child (again)?
The first thing that comes to mind is Peter Pan Syndrome, although it is not recognized as an official mental disorder. This often refers to individuals who are prone to neglect responsibilities & act childish (in a negative way), and not exactly daydreaming about being a kid again. Otherwise, I'd simply describe it as a strong childhood nostalgia. If someone had an ideal childhood, for example, they'd probably like to think back on it when they are stressed or unhappy, just to remember that there was a time in their life that they were completely content. It only becomes a problem when it turns into an obsession, don't let it! Remember that life has a lot to offer, and you don't have to be a child to enjoy it! :)
I yearn for my childhood home. Would I be a fool to move to the same suburb again?
I'm thirty and ever since my parents got divorced when I was twelve, I've moved every two years. I've just spent six years travelling around Europe, but all I want to do is sleep in my childhood home here in Aus. I recently went back to look at it and everything felt smaller, but I traced my steps and felt so content. I haven't been happy since I left there eighteen years ago, and I don't know where I belong. My family live all over Aus, but not nearby. Should I move back to my old suburb to find out who I am? I'm scared it might not be home and I won't ever know where home is. This is contributing to my permanent feeling of loneliness. (If I fall in love, will my lover be my 'home?')
What do you truly yearn for?
I yearn for company, company of a person who is intelligent, funny and a passionate dilettante. Somebody who has the courage to share experiences , share wisdom , share beliefs and the roots of those beliefs and also the will to defend them when questioned.Somebody who doesn't just want to text but would want to have a face to face conversation. Tell what they think , what they feel, where they are heading and what is their plan.Somebody who cherishes failures with just as much grace as her victories.Somebody who wouldn't judge, who understands and who doesn't always feel obligated to be within the laid out social restraints.Somebody who is aware of whats going on around her and close by.Someone who is curious of the unknown. Somebody who could point me to their bests ( be it books , travel places , movies , music ) and i definitely would return the favor from my end.I yearn all this because i have realized that life is too short to experience everything good without a good guide and company. Probably these are the musings of my youthful age but that's what i feel right now and i think its worth something to yearn for.
Is it normal to regret having children?
You know, some people can have unprotected sex for years and not get pregnant, even if they would like to. What were the odds that you would while using condoms and being on the pill? I think that in itself had to be a sign, somehow that you were meant to be a mum. My sister is in the same boat as you are... And I'm in the other. So to help out, I take her son sometimes on the weekend (like this weekend). She finds it very difficult and although she doesn't say it, she probably regrets having him sometimes. But then, think about all the good days and moments you spend with your son. He might be young right now but as you two get older (maybe in 20 years from now ;-), your son will most likely be your most precious achievement! Hang in there. Try to find a local support group that could advise you and give you a break. You could also find other single mums like you with who you could team up. There are also online communities that could help you out! In the meatime, you have us! Good luck! I wish you could have more help around to get you through this... V.