Growing Up: Why don't adults have friends?
Sometimes it's difficult to trust other adults, other times it's because people already have their clique and they aren't looking to let anyone in. Or because they've moved areas and they just haven't found a way to break the ice to get to know people. Or the individuals or groups of adults that an individual is trying to hang out with have their own agenda and just aren't interested in being friends with the individual.Sometimes, people give up trying to make friends, because they find it too much effort or they're tired of being hurt or friendships aren't what they thought they would be. When growing up you have something in common with those around you, everything's new, people are new, toys are new, cool things are new. These things help to bring you together and so do your experiences, you spend a long time together with them.Maybe when you grow up you won't move away from those people and you'll stay friends for longer. Or maybe you will move away and perhaps then you'll make new friends in your new experiences or your situation will change and you'll be amidst groups of people who no longer share similarities with you beyond the work environment - if you're unfortunate the work environment will be disliked by the people around you, if you don't yourself and that becomes the only thing you have in common and the one thing that the other adults want to stay away from (and the people in it).Some adults won't seem to have friends, or won't have them as you do when you're younger for a variety of reasons. Perhaps some of them are just naturally introvert and prefer their own company, but you may just find that they hope that their children (if they have them) are their new best friends now, or their spouse, and the friends they made over life accept this because it happens to them, too.Some friendships evolve, some drift, some are lost, some replace them with family and some don't get the chance to happen because people are hurt.Those are just a few of the reasons why adults may not or seem to not have friends.
Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? ?
Probably because as a kid/teen you HAD to go to school and be around the people all the time. As an adult you can come and go as you please. Plus as an adult you're wiser as to what a REAL friend is.
My close friend never texts me back anymore. Can you explain this?
Hi there! :)There was a time, not too long ago, when I wanted the answer to the same question you have asked. At the time, I was too confused as I always used to give my friends the benefit of doubt. I used to come up with excuses, by myself, for them not replying or not giving me enough time anymore which resulted in my mind being inundated with the Maybe’s … Maybe he/she is busy with some work, Maybe they are in a bad mood, Maybe there might be something urgent that they could not reply. This might sound stupid or maybe not, but it was! And later on, when I was overwhelmed with all these Maybe’s and the sadness that I was being ignored (which is the worst feeling ever), I decided to confront and that was something good I did. In the end, I came to know that they either just got bored of me or made new friends or got into a relationship which resulted into their world confining to just that one person or were simply taking advantage of my helping nature to get their work done.You can stop talking to them right away, but if you are someone like me who wants to be absolutely sure before taking a decision, then, my advice to you is:Do not overthink & never make excuses on their behalf.Go and talk to them.If they are able to give you a valid reason and if the reason convinces you (which is highly unlikely), give them another chance. Just one more chance. If this happens again - Leave!!If they are not able to give any valid & convincing reason - Leave!!If they say they were busy, they had to focus on their studies, they were frustrated with something - Don’t continue the conversation and Leave!! These are the stupidest things one can say. because texting back hardly takes a minute and while they are focusing on studies, they certainly would be taking a bathroom break, lunch break, nap break etc. You get my point.Lastly, do not feel bad after leaving them as when I look back today, I wish I would have done that sooner because as soon as I showed them a way out of my life, some amazing people entered it. You just need to clear the way for those wonderful people.
Why is it so hard to find true friends these days?
TLDR: Because trust is difficult to obtain.Because people are assholes.Hold on, let me explain. As you get older, you become picky. As a kid you don’t care. You like baseball, Johnny likes baseball, so Johnny is now a friend. As an adult a friend is a serious investment. You have a job, you have responsibilities, you come home after work pretty much dead, pondering to just shoot yourself and be done with it.At the age of about 15 you learn the true nature of people: they put themselves before anything else. It sounds like a simple idea, but it’s a bit more complicated. People will easily betray you, people will spread rumors, people will do anything if they see you as an obstacle that needs to be removed.As you (and the people) grow older, cynicism comes into play. You learn to not trust people. You learn that strangers will betray you, stomp you into the ground for a measly dollar. Hell, they’ll do it for fun.You need someone you can trust and that’s one hell of a requirement.You need someone who, regardless of consequences or potential profit, or hell, entertainment will trust you and you can trust them to not suddenly stab them in the back. People do it “for the lulz” all the time. Finding that someone is difficult. It’s one hell of a quest. Finding a true friend these days is almost impossible.That’s why people pretty much give up once they’re older.You need to invest time and money into friendship and if the other party senses something shifty is going on, they pull out immediately and without any explanation.
Are adult friendships superficial?
I've noticed I've only had about two friends in my adult life.... and neither of them would be what I'd call a "true friend". Does anyone else have this problem? It seems adults are more selfish and concerned about themselves. Friendship doesn't seem to exist anymore after childhood.
My husband's ex keeps trying to befriend me. What would you do?
If she had cheated on your hubby in the past, not to mention acted crazy when you guys hooked up afterwards, I could understand why your hubby wants nothing to do with her. What I don't understand is why YOU are having such a hard time deciding?Ask yourself this. If she was a really good friend before you and your hubby or even her and your hubby then yes, I could understand, BUT by the sounds of things you were your hubbys friend first. If HE wants nothing to do with her, neither should you really. Have you talked to your hubby, I am sure he is or would be just as confused as most of us on your problem deciding whether to be her friend or not. She has wronged both of you in the past and you even say as of now does not seem that "stable" so I would just plain and simply tell her. "Look, my hubby is very uncomfortable with you being in either of our lives as am I. We are not sure what your intentions are and if it is just to be our friend, maybe try and remember why we stopped talking in the first place. Please do not contact either of us any more". Plain and simple. Or keep up the blocking, that should give her the hint! Over all, my answer is no, mostly because your hubby has no interest in a frinedship with her and this is with REASON. Your obviously having doubts about her, listen to your intuition, it rarely leads us in the wrong direction.
Why don't people read books anymore?
People don't make time to read. Life is so hectic, but until a person realizes they need to slow down and take some "quiet and down" time to themselves they won't make time to read. Watching TV is easy, the stories are told for us, and after all day rushing to and fro, it is convenient. So many people make that choice, another very VERY big difference, is that parents no longer take the time to read to their children. When a child learns early how to visit another world through the pages of a book, they become hooked. For a while they might stray away or get too busy, they typically start missing "their friends." Yet for the others the only reading they did was required, and teachers typically pick books that are not good for making future readers. Or they pick apart a book to the point, they destroy the story. So without parents reading to their children, teaching the power of books, the children become adults who don't read. With teachers requiring reading of "boring old" books the pleasure of reading is not taught, or when the reading is okay the teachers destroy the pleasure of reading. (My 9th grade teacher had us read Tale of Two Cities, we had to KNOW the sections inside and out to pass a test. We had to know hidden meaning of things. Then the whole book when we reached the end... And it was not the best of times, but definately the worst of times. I love to read but I won't read that EVER AGAIN!) I currently read James Patterson, Dean Koontz, Patricia Cornwell, among others.