Are My Lips Too Big One Of My Friends Told Me That My Bottom Lip Is Too Big And It Makes Me Look

What are some of the funniest lies that parents have told their children?

No doubt someone else has put this, there are so many answers. My Mum used to tell my sister and I she had an eyeball in the back of her head, so we'd behave in the back of the car. My sister woke her up one morning, rooting through her thick red hair on the back of her head. My mum woke up and said,'What are you doing,' my sister told her,' I'm looking for the eyeball,' my Mum, quick as a flash, says,' Well, it's morning, it's a lazy eye and still asleep.'These other two happened when we were relatively older. I was 10, my little sister was 8. My Dad was a naughty old shit and when my Mum went to bed, he'd let us watch Hammer Horror films. One night we were watching a Dracula one and my Dad, during a scary bit, starts making this low growl, he continues to do this getting louder and scarier. Then he dropped his false teeth down, to look like some big arse teeth and chased us around the dining room table. We were terrified and ran upstairs to our Mam, and utterly scared shouted, 'Me Dad's a vampire!' My quick thinking Mum, then dropped down her false teeth and growled,' So am I.' The screams were unmerciful. My sister and I, who hated each other at the time, ran into our bedroom, clutching each other in terror on the bed, screaming and crying. Anyway, turned out the joke was on them. No-one slept that night.The second, it was just my sister that was the butt of the joke. We're all wind up merchants in our family and you've got to be quick on the uptake. My sister told me, when I was a kid that people in New Zealand don't sweat because of the humidity. I believed that for two years. So, when the opportunity presented itself for a wind up I took it.She was about 13, I think and had been rowing with our Mum. She threatened to go and live with my auntie. I said to my Mum,'Mum, you're going to have to tell her about Auntie Edna,' my Mum got onto to this quickly, as usual,' You can't Chrissy, you can't tell her.' I told my sister,' Edna makes Bev (her daughter) wear a chastity belt and she keeps the key round her neck,' My Mum,'Shhh Chrissy,' me,'No she has to know,' my sister,' No, I don't believe you, how does she go the toilet?' my mum,' Well she just wees and it trickles out round the side. Edna unlocks it when she wants a pooh, then watches her on the toilet.' The fact that my Mum joined in made her believe it and we kept up the pretence for a couple of weeks.

What do you look like?

I’m about 5.11″ with an athletic build. I have a triangular-shaped torso; thin waist and broad shoulders. I was fortunate to inherit the recessive alleles that gave me my bright blue eyes. When I was a wee sprog I had white-blond, curly hair but I now have a light-brown hair colour, without the curls. My hair’s usually quite long, like in my profile picture.I have my dad’s square-shaped hands, with quite a few faint scars on the knuckles from tae kwon doe and drumming. I have quite a few scars on my knees, elbows and torso from contact sports and skateboarding in addition to several large scars all over my torso from a recent surgery. It looks like I’ve been in a knife-fight with a bear, but I don’t mind that so much.I’ve always been skinny and I have a small butt. Being athletic came from my maternal side. My mother’s relatives were all into competitive cross-country running, so I think that’s part of it. I’m quite well toned, which I get from my dad’s side- being able to put muscle mass on quickly (i think I got the best of both worlds-luckily!) I have a prominent, angular jawline and a dimpled chin, as well as high cheekbones and smile lines. For some weird reason I have quite long eyelashes.I dress quite traditionally- blue or grey jeans with a plain t-shirt and hoody (it’s cold in the UK.) Whenever I get the oppertunity to, though, I prefer wearing my dark-grey suit because it’s much more comfortable!

What is the craziest thing your parents ever told you?

Wow there have been quite a few. But I only remeber some at the moment.When my dad came back from Saudia Arabia, he showed us picture he took there. He had a picture of the gigantic bike in Jeddah(Not his pic)I was so amazed that somebody could ride a bike this big. I asked him why that bike was there. He told me that it was Adam’s. (In my religion we believe that Adam was the first person on earth and that he was reallyy tall.)So I was ask him if it was really true. He's like yeah, a long time ago he was riding this bike he left it here for a while and forgot about it and it been here all this time. I believed that with all my being. It has only been a few years since it found out the truth. I was really shocked.My mom told me that sleeping with my socks on will make me get stuck in my dreams. I still dont sleep with my socks on.My dad was telling us a story that took place more that a thousand years ago. In the story he told us about a man who shot a arrow at a person and the arrow only scratched the guys neck but he felt like he was dying. So my dad tells me that when the guy gets back on his PLANE to go back to his city, he dies from the wound. I honestly believed that there were planes back then. The only way of transport were horses and camels. He made me believe that there were planes back then and I kept on believing it until I learned that planes were built in the last couple hundred years. I felt so betrayed.My mom told me that if I play with my lips and pull on them they'll grow down to my stomach. Then she told me about a person she saw when she was little who had lips drooping all the way down to her knees. I’m still sort of scared to touch my lips.I may add more if I remember but these are the ones that stick to me the most.

Do you kiss your children on the lips?

No. I refuse. I reserve kissing on the lips to the children’s mother.Call me old-fashioned, but it feels wrong to kiss the kids on the lips.And yeah, the kids have tried to do that with me, probably because they saw me kiss their mother on the lips! They quickly stopped when I told them I only kiss their mother on the lips.On a related sida-note, we’ve also told the kids that kissing and hugging is not something you can force on others. They have to be willing. This is a way to teach them to not accept kissing, hugging - and other things - from others.This EDIT to give how our morning and evening rituals occur: The morning ritual when I leave for work and the kids haven’t been taken to kindergarten yet: “Hey guys, I’m leeeeaving now. Anybody want a goodbye-hug?!” Then you hear the dropping of stuff and the fast shuffling of feet, at which point I get rammed at knee-level by one four year-old that demands an upside-down-hug, while the three-year old lispingly demands a whole-body-up-high-hug. Those are the demands, so they get it, okay? :-)And then; “Anybody want a kiss on the forehead with the hug??” And they “Meeeee!”.And then just about when I’m to exit the front door forgetting the other important ritual; “What about me?” - wifey stands in front of me and and blocks the door and demands the hubby-wifey-hug and of course the obligatory kiss on the mouth. Which may become two. Maybe three. ;-)When I pick up the kids at the kindergarten, the kids usually see me first, at which point they run to and ram me, again at knee-height head-first dangerously close to the finer parts of my anatomy, and general hugging occurs.So it’s not like I’m cold-hearted in any way, by not kissing the kids on the mouth. As others have commented, my parents didn’t kiss me on the mouth, that was reserved for the significant other. And that’s the way I do it too.