How does an introvert manage to voice an opinion with people that keep right on talking?
I have many strategies for three distinct categories of persistent talkers. I also have a philosophy about my opinions, which is at the end.I wait for the talker to shut up: Most talkers in this category become conscious of dominating the conversation at some point, apologize, and invite me to share my opinion.I cut the talker off: Talkers in this category not only keep right on talking, they are trying to proselytize me to their deranged thinking and beliefs, immature or narrow-minded worldview, tantrums, or self-created lies that support their narratives, which usually only pisses me off. I’m introverted and have a high tolerance for BS, but I have limits. I will cut off the talker mid-sentence, and if the talker keeps right on talking, I keep right on talking simultaneously. I may speak at a slightly increased volume, but no need to shout. My goal is only to be present in the pissing contest, which is really effective—talkers in this category are narcissistic, and once they notice the audience is competing with them, they stop mid-sentence to accuse me of being rude. My reply: “Really? More rude than you bullying me with your non-stop opinion?” This approach will shut down some talkers. I am not at all confrontational, but I’m also not a hostage. I will find a way to extricate myself when it is clear that this talker does not care about my opinion.I withhold my opinion: Talkers in this category need to talk. Simple. As I said, I will cut off a talker who goes on a word assault to proselytize me to his/her deranged beliefs, immature or narrow-minded worldview, et cetera. But this third category of talker needs my ear, not my opinion. I’m okay listening too.My personal philosophy about voicing my opinion: I do not need to voice my opinion to give my opinion value or credibility. My opinions are based on my own experiences. Then again, I am an introvert. ;)
Is it unhealthy to purposely isolate myself when I feel like letting people in my life is risky and often detrimental? I'm so used to being alone it feels more comfortable than having friends.
NO!It is completely okay to keep people at a distance from you when you are not doing well.At times it is best to raise your guard up and not let any person walk all over you again when you are at pit deep into your own mess. I wish people understand this concept also.I have been there and done that, have had instances when my thoughts would choke me up and I didn't want to speak to anyone about last year. After a duration of 7–8 months of having anxiety attacks, crying incessantly while preparing for my day to work after a disturbing instance in my life I wanted to be left alone. No one understood this.The more they wanted me to cheer up, the more I would push them away. The condition is not any good for now, but the pressure to behave normally and talk and smile is something too much for a person who is having a tough time handling inner mental breakdown. Ask me! It is too difficult to talk, to eat and sleep. This doesn't go away within a week or months but the after affect stay for an aeon.When no one seems to understand you it is best to stay mum let alone making the other person how it feels. Sometimes how much close you may to someone, people don't understand. They just don't.I wish you a speedy recovery mate.
I have this long time crush on a very introvert guy! HELP ME!!!?
So I have a crush on this guy. He's shy, very secretive, cold at times. 1. When we're in the same room and try to turn my gaze on him, he always looks at me then turns away. 2. In a public place, (classroom, canteen, school etc.) I am treated differently, he acts comfortable to all the girls and can talk to them without hesitations, but me? when i pass by him, (i dont usually say "hello or hi" first) he ignores me. 3. He acts differently when we're together in a small group, he tends to talk more compared to a public place. 4. he's a f*ckin' jerk on my perception. grrrrr!!! as if he does things intentionally just to hurt me. :'( (maybe because I am totally sweet to other guys in my classroom except him) Do you think he likes me? or has a slight crush to me? and if he does, how can I fix the hurt he might feel inside (maybe i've hurt him unintentionally because I hug my guy friends so tight inside the classroom and i caught him once staring at us, then walked outside the classroom and sobbed, i guess) sometimes, i want to make him jealous so, i would mention a guy's name and talk about him over and over again (out loud) then, my girl classmates would tease me and all. haha! i really dont know. someone help me!!! Questions: 1. with those signs (not complete), does he like me? 2. if he does, then how can I fix things? (considering i have hurt him unintentionally or intentionally) I am really insensitive at times. I'm so sorry, anthony. :)
Why do some people avoid eye contact?
For many people, when someone is looking directly into their eyes, it makes them uncomfortable. So they simply avoid it.Someone looking directly at you when you are speaking means (hopefully) they are listening to every word you say, along with tone, inflection, etc. If you are speaking on a topic you are unfamiliar with, or just bsing your way through it, you are fearful that they will see right through you, or ask a follow-up question that you simply can’t answer. As such, you avoid their eyes.The opposite is also true. If someone else is speaking and you are avoiding eye contact with them, this can indicate to them a number of things. You are not confident of your knowledge in what they are discussing, you have poor mastery of the language and do not understand their words, or you lack the knowledge to respond to them in the proper manner.Lack of confidence in yourself/language/knowledge is the issue.Or.. they could just be shy.Or they could just be hiding something they don’t want you to figure out.And... alas… then we have the “human” aspect.There is something about people looking directly into the eyes when you are speaking that turns on the “uncomfortable” switch in lots of people.How much easier would it be if you had to give a speech in front of a large group and all the audience members were sitting there with their eyes closed.
People ignore me at school?
hello amelie i was browsing the internet and stumbled upon your question so i decided to write you an answer to help you with your life. like in the forrest gump movie he says that life is like a box of chocolates and you never know what you're gonna get next so right now you are probably just at the bad chocolates (i dont like the ones with weird fruit cream inside or nuts) but the good chocolates will come later on in your life like college or university when you can become you're own person and truly be an independent like tom hanks did in that movie (he was bullied for being weird but later went on to have the BEST life ever) anyway this all sounds like a lot of drama that isnt really necessary so jsut ignore it and grow up
Can ignoring a girl be beneficial in attracting her?
Ignoring can become a GREAT ATTRACTION TOOL if used correctly but it’s a DOUBLE EDGED SWORD that may also blow of your chances with a girl.Here are some examples of how IGNORING works as an attraction tool:When she breaks up with you - When a girl is the one who broke up with you, chasing her will only drive her away more as it would make you look desperate thus making her feel uncomfortable. So IGNORING her by cutting all communications will give her the space to miss you and they will tend to wonder about you with your precious moments together. Once her feelings of realization has reached the threshold that she still wants you, she will reach out to you. From here onward you are already permissible to STOP IGNORING her by replying on her messages and go with the flow. Then you can take things slow from here.When she is starting to become cold on you - If a girl you’re dating or someone you like is not enthusiastic in giving you her attention anymore like before and it’s not because she’s mad at you, then it’s because you are become needy or clingy by showering her attention so much that it starts to annoy her. So if that’s the case you can back off and IGNORE her by not giving her your attention anymore. When she senses that you are not into her anymore and she still has a bit of interest in you then she will make an effort on getting your attention, so at that point you may STOP IGNORING her and reciprocate by giving her moderate attention until she is not cold on you anymore. Remember to not annoy her again on your neediness.And here’s how IGNORING can blow of your chances:When she makes an effort to talk to you then you ignore her - No need further explanation here. Obviously it will piss her off on how a rude selfish individual you are.You keep on ignoring her again and again- Let’s say you ignore her the first time and it didn’t piss her off yet for some reason. When she tries to grab your attention then you ignore her again because i don’t know what the heck you’re thinking then it’s game over, you will never get her attention again.Also here are some useful articles you may want to read to know more on how to use ignoring as an attraction tool:Get Out of the Friend Zone - Ignore Her? || How to Win Her Back by Ignoring Her