Have you tried the "Ferber Method"?
So okay - After reading about how i'm such an AWFUL mom to do this (LOL) and also getting a very valid email from someone - I will be testing out a MODIFIED version of the Ferber Method. Since my son is mostly co-sleeping with us, putting him directly into his own room may be a bit harder (for both him and my husband and I). So this is what we are going to try. No more sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed, but sleeping in his bassinet that is setup next to our bed. So he will still be able to see us and hear us... but we will not run and pick him up at every cry. We may let him cry for a min or so, then go and rub his head (he likes that) hold his hands or just do the *shush shush* thing until he calms down, and then do it all over again! :) If you'd like an update as to if it works or not, shoot me an email and I will update you in the next couple of days! Thanks to everyone for all there opinions — even the ones telling me what a bad parent I am! :)
What time should an 18 month old go to bed?
We are having a horrible time getting our son to go to sleep!! I've read that we need to make a set time for him to go to bed every night. What time should an 18 month old go down? Does anyone know any tips? I've let him cry it out but its so hard!! BUT if we go in and try to sooth him it makes him MORE upset. I dont know what to do! help!
Is 8 months old too young to let "Cry it Out"?
No, but I would be careful how you go about it. For some kids, it only takes a day or two of their cries going unheeded and they realize that it's bedtime and give in. For other, more sensitive kids, it never truly works that way. I would instead use the Ferber method of crying-it-out: do your normal bedtime routine and leave the room. Do cry-it-out for ten minutes, then go and comfort your child. Do not pick them up, but reassure them you're there. Repeat until child is asleep. Alternatively, you could try rocking your baby until they are almost asleep, and then laying them in their crib. Rock for a little less time each night, and eventually your baby will learn to fall asleep on their own. The first method worked for my brother (3), but the second method is the one that works for my sister (18 months). Work with your child's temperment and research different sleep methods. Remember that if you do choose the cry-it-out method, ignoring your baby's cries doesn't make you a bad parent. Babies learn manipulation at six months, and they know exactly what happens when they start crying (Mommy/Daddy will pick them up). There is a difference between an "I'm hungry/wet/hurt cry" than an "I'm bored and don't want to go to bed" cry. :)
Should you let an 18-month-old baby cry it out, or try to help him stop crying?
I don't think there's a general answer you can give-- context is everything.First off, there's a question about what he/she's crying about. "Cry it out" is often in reference to sleeping-- either for bedtime or naps. It might be for other things too, but usually sleeping.For our son, we started letting him cry-it-out around ... maybe 8 months old for bedtime? I don't recall exactly. We put him in his crib at pretty much EXACTLY 8pm, and let him cry if he was gonna cry. It worked like a charm. Within 5 days (only 2 of which he had any crying), he was trained. From then on (until his next sleep schedule change a few months later), when we put him in bed, that was it-- he would go to sleep, with almost no crying ever.Since that was so successful, we tried the same thing with naps a couple months later. No luck. He could cry the WHOLE time. We felt awful. All the books suggested that he'd eventually self-soothe, and figure it out. But he didn't.The point of cry-it-out is to train them to:1) Self-soothe, so they aren't as reliant on the parents2) Understand that the world isn't going to obey their demandsYou're going to have to assess your own child-- if you think he/she is capable of understanding those things, then yes, it's probably time to start using cry-it-out (or something similar). Bear in mind, though, that the longer you wait, the more difficult it is to train them. If you wait until they're 30 months old, it'll probably take a LONG time, because they're so used to not having to cry.With that said, 18 months sounds plenty old to me, generically speaking. When we spoke to sleep consultants, doing our first run of cry-it-out, they said that we were doing it early-ish, but still within the window of "normal". And they said he probably wasn't ready for doing the same thing with naps (which is why we waited a few months before doing it at naptime). So, if I remember my training correctly, 18 months is plenty old enough.But again, every child is different. And every parent is different. I can't predict how your child will handle it-- you're the best judge of that.