Your infertility experience...How do you feel, what things have well meaning people said that hurt, etc.?
Wow! What a great question! I don’t even know where to start. I have been married for 14 year and been TTC for God knows how long. We tried unsuccessfully on our own and then looked into a fertility specialist. It was found that my FSH levels were too high to make good eggs or that I have diminished ovarian reserve and my RE said because I had tried for so long unsuccessfully that IVF would be my best option. We jumped in feet first. The first was a BFN, the second ectopic, and last another BFN, and I’m due to start another this week. There are MANY well meaning unthinking folk out there. Unfortunately, they do not know how hurtful they can be. You know, I sometimes tell people that talking to someone who is suffering from infertility has the same feeling like when talking to someone you know who has a loved one that died. It is very hard to think of the right things to say so some either don’t say anything (The pink elephant in the room) or you are avoided. Hearing “Do you have kids?” after everything I have been through kills me now. I even got “Do you want children?” It gets harder every time I hear it. I’ve heard it all. “Relax”, “You’re next”, “Go on vacation and it will work.” This even coming from people who know I lost on tube with my ectopic and my other doesn’t work. What now bothers me the most is hearing that adoption is an option for me. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard to “Just adopt.” This is from people who have no clue what the adoption process is like. I have even heard “Just adopt and you’ll get pregnant.” Adoption is not a cure for infertility and does not take away a desire for a biological child. It is very complicated and there are huge risks, expenses, it is emotionally challenging and there is no guarantee of a child in the end. Don’t remind a women suffering with infertility that she can adopt. She already knows. I have nothing against adoption. I plan on doing it in the future no matter what. It is just not an option for me right now. Here is another example of hurtful questions. Feel free to look at my response :) http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... These days it’s hard not to get snarky sometimes. Wishing your arms will be full soon!
Should they get divorced over infertility?
NO WAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Having dealt with infertility for nearly 10 years now, there is NO way a husband and wife should divorce because of it. They both need counceling, grief counceling not marital at this point. A miscarriage is a loss of a person, the feelings from multiple m/c need to be vented and addressed otherwise they will lead to more hurt, bitterness, miscommunication, etc. I don't think they should continue, especially if her life is at risk. She needs to be told by an outside party that adoption is the best situation for them. I know what its like to want your own baby, however she's still suffering from the losses and is not thinking clearly. She's addicted to the thought of having her own baby, and it could cost her a lot more than her marriage.
Has anyone else been jealous of a pregnant relative?
I'm sure your sister-in-laws world is revolving around this big impending addition to her family; when you were pregnant you probably remember that being the main focus of your conversations as well. Just as child-free adults tend to get a bit annoyed when we refer to our infants and toddlers by how many MONTHS old they are, like there is no difference between age one and two, as well as all their accomplishments. We're proud, aren't we!?!? :) One may hope she'd have the common sense to make an effort to minimize her pregnancy a bit when she's around you, but some people don't even realize they're doing anything wrong. The excitement takes over! If the two of you have a good relationship, I'm sure she wouldn't be intentionally going out of her way to rub your nose in it. At least I would hope not! I fell in love with a wonderful man about six months ago who adores me and loves my two year old son as his own, but he does not want kids of his own for various reasons. My dream of having more than one child is in a complicated state right now, and everytime I see a pregnant woman or hear about someone I know becoming pregnant, it makes me yearn for it that much more, so I know where you're coming from, minus the added battle of infertility, which I'm sure makes this situation that much more difficult for you. Talk to your husband about how you're feeling; keeping open communication in your marriage is always important, but is essential when going through a particularly difficult time such as this. Good luck with everything!
Are there any side effects of bitter cola?
Yes, there are so many side effects of bitter kola on human being. The seed contains caffeine which can cause infertility in men. It also has an adverse effect on a pregnant woman and can as well stop women from ovulating. Plus other side effects, you can check the link below for more info.[1]Footnotes[1] Health Benefits of Bitter Kola & Why It May Cause Infertility - HEALTHBID
In unmarried girls,does leucoria causes infertility?if discharge is white in color and with no noticeable odou?
Do you mean: Leukorrhea ? No. All girls once they start puberty have a white and/or clear mucous discharge and it is normal. The vagina is self-cleaning. This same discharge increases the closer you get to ovulation and when you are sexually aroused. Trust me, you don't ever want it to go away. You will also have your own scent - musky - and it will smell stronger to you than to others. Some women while pregnant can have an increase in this normal discharge which is called Leukorrhea. Leukorrhea is a whitish, mucousy vaginal discharge, very common during pregnancy because of increased bloodflow to the vagina due to increased estrogen. Female infants may also have leukorrhea for a short time after birth due to their in-uterine exposure to estrogen. Leukorrhea does occur from time to time in non-pregnant women, but it's important to talk to your doctor if there is a *lot* of discharge, a strong or offensive odor, is accompanied by labial/vaginal itching or swelling, or you begin to note any changes in the discharge (color, odor, etc.). Have you seen a doctor or are you guessing at a diagnosis? Different Types of Discharge: White: Thick, white discharge is common at the beginning and end of your cycle. Normal white discharge is not accompanied by itching. If itching is present, thick white discharge can indicate a yeast infection. Clear and stretchy: This is "fertile" mucous and means you are ovulating. Clear and watery: This occurs at different times of your cycle and can be particularly heavy after exercising. Yellow or Green: May indicate an infection, especially if thick or clumpy like cottage cheese or has a foul odor. Spotting Blood/Brown Discharge: May happen right after periods, and is just "cleaning out" your vagina. Old blood looks brown. This may occur when you are ovulating/mid-cycle. Your first period can look like this also. Different types of infections: Signs of yeast infections: White, cottage cheese-like discharge Swelling and pain around the vulva Intense itching Signs of bacterial vaginosis: A white, gray or yellowish vaginal discharge A fishy odor that is strongest after sex or after washing with soap Itching or burning Slight redness and swelling of the vagina or vulva
Has anyone had good luck with using Chinese medicine?
I've used Chinese herbal teas to help with headaches and to increase my appetite. My sister who has had anxiety/depression, likewise used Chinese herbal teas to help treat her symptoms, and my aunt used herbal teas to help with infertility (she currently now has two children). I'm a natural skeptic of Chinese medicine and find it hard to believe how various sliced roots, barks, dried berries, fluffy flowers, dried twigs (I gather that is what you are boiling) can help treat various ailments, but each time the tea has been administered either to me or my close family members, I do notice positive changes. (How and why? That's a whole new discussion). Yes, the drink will be very bitter, yet that is what it's suppose to taste like (the more bitter, the more potent the medicine). The doctor may have you boil the same package 2-3 times before going on to another package. The smell of the herbal tea will be unbearable, but turning on the vent or window should suffice. Couple of notes and tidbits: 1. Keep in mind that the traditional Chinese doctor prescribed packaged herbs with two purpose in mind: The first batch will most likely consist of a formula targeted to treating the anxiety symptoms (worry, sadness, constant vigilance, etc). The second batch is considered more long term, as it will help to treat the underlying long-term cause of your anxiety (anxiety usually associated with emotional trauma that has gone unresolved. In Chinese medicine, emotional instability can cause great damage). 2. Many posters here noted acupuncture. Some doctors use solely chinese herbs, others acupuncture, and some will consider a combination of both acupunture and chinese herbs. Don't worry if your doctor didn't prescribe you acupuncture. 3. I want to make it clear that I am not a licensed Chinese medicine practitioner, but through my experience with my sister, I would say this: Try to resolve any emotional pain/trauma, and make peace with it. The symptoms will reappear if this is not resolved (sort of like you purposely going outside with shorts and sleeves when it is raining and it's 30 degrees). Your condition may take months and years to fully recover, so don't expect and anticipate a quick fix. You and the medicine must undo many years of damage that went unaddressed. Hope this helps.